filmjay Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Hi all! I came across this site by Googling "what to do when caught cheating". Not me, of course, but my significant other.... I'm just at my wits end dealing with this and just need an outside opinion.... So I'll offer the story... About a year ago, I started an online relationship with a young woman. We met through a gaming website that we have now both ended up being admins in. Anyway....here's the gist.... Over the last few months, we've juggled a long-distance relationship. Having the job that I had, I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased. As such, I would come down to her house for about a month, then have to return home for about a month to work. Everything, I thought, had been peachy. This last trip, I succumbed to pressure to move in with her. Not that it was that hard, but I gave up my career, friends, etc... to move 500 miles to a small town where there is nothing for me to do professionally. Of course, I have no problems just getting a new job and trying to make a life. About 2 weeks ago though, things started to change. We began to bicker and fight a lot...a LOT more than ever before. She now wishes to hang out with her friends more than she wants to do things with me, and I feel like I'm just an intruder on her life now. I've just had a bad feeling about things...you know...that hole in your stomach that just won't go away... She has SWORE up and down that she's not cheating on me, but after seeing quite a few of the "watch signs", I just can't shake that feeling. Then last night, a close friend I was talking to about my problem (who is rather savvy with network security) got into her myspace account and saw a few things that didn't bode well. (Just fyi...i did NOT ask him to do it, he took it upon himself to "look out for me" ) What he found was a couple messages to/from different guys. One was dated at the beginning of Feb around the time I had one of my out-of-town trips that she said "I just wanted to say hi, and that I think you're cute." And another was one of those polls that asks a bunch of questions. But, her answers to questions like: Q. "what did you do last night?" With her answer being... "Talk to you" -or- Q: "Was your Valentine's day nice?" A: "No, spent alot on my ex but got nothing from him but him ignoring me for a computer game." Even though she didn't get me jack for V-day, and we went to dinner. Basically....lies. OH and the one that really cut me... Q: "Who was the last person you said I love you to?" ...and she just left it blank. Basically, every question that pertained to being in a relationship, she said something derogatory, didn't answer, or lied. I have no physical proof that she's actively cheating on me, but all the signs are there. Since we've been arguing a lot over the last couple weeks, it was decided that we should take a break...after she's begged me to move in w/ her and I finally made arrangements to do so. I'm leaving next weekend to go visit my son and I just don't know where to "come home" to. I'm considering just calling it quits and going back to MY home...but I just don't know what to do. I've changed my whole life around for this woman, and now I think I've made a dire mistake. Any advice is welcome. Sorry for the long post...hope it doesn't make your eyes bleed too badly.
norajane Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 You changed your life around, now you're seeing it was a mistake, so change it back around! You don't have to stay just because you moved there. You can move again, and it sounds like, you could much more easily get a job elsewhere. Life is too short to waste on bad relationship, and it's too short to waste on a woman you can't trust. Seriously, do you have one single good reason to stay?
frannie Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I agree with norajane... change your life back. Life is too short to waste on people like that.
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