KaseyL06 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Well, My story is a long one...( Im 19, hes 22) I'll make it short, I've been seeing a guy for about 8 months now and at the time we first started talking he was married, but they were having a lot of problems, they got seperated about a month after we began talking and then got divorced about month after that. We worked together and no one could know we were seeing each other, so it was a secret until finally I found another job. Well, he told me at first he just wanted us to stay like we were by being intimate, seeing each other and hanging out and doing things together like going to the movies, etc. I wrote a text one night asking if it were ok if i called him my boyfriend, and he said yes that he already considered us to be dating. About a week after that he had some problems with his family and was really upset for about 3 days and in that time we didn't talk at all, that really hurt me and when I finally talked to him I asked him if he needed us to break up because he was have personal problems at the moment he said "Break up? we weren't even dating to begin with" or something close to that nature. That was pretty much like stabbing me in the face, we talked about things and he told me he was not really wanting to be committed to me right now but he didnt want to see anyone else and didnt have feelings for anyone else. So about a month after that things were going really well, he had to kinda move in with me for a while when his apartment got flooded and we got along great. In that time I asked him again if he considered me to be his girlfriend, and he said he still feels the same way about committment right now since he just got divorced. I understand that but we act exactly like we're dating now.....except without the status. I've never met his parents and Ive only hung out with him and his friends one time....I almost feel like I'm some sort of secret and I don't get why, it really hurts me because I care about him so much and Im falling for him so hard. Im at a point where I really don't know how to feel or what to do....hes one of those guys who doesnt just advertise his feelings so its hard for him to tell me how he feels about me sometimes. If anyone has any advice or wants anymore detail in order to give me advice please let me know!
jcster Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I understand that but we act exactly like we're dating now.....except without the status. I've never met his parents and Ive only hung out with him and his friends one time....I almost feel like I'm some sort of secret and I don't get why, it really hurts me because I care about him so much and Im falling for him so hard. Im at a point where I really don't know how to feel or what to do....hes one of those guys who doesnt just advertise his feelings so its hard for him to tell me how he feels about me sometimes. You really should listen to what he says. He just got divorced, and when you started to see each other, he wasn't even out of the marriage yet. This means, at the best, that he's unable to commit right now, and at worst, that you are a convenience to him. DO NOT FALL FOR HIM. As for him being one of those guys that doesn't "advertise his feelings," that's usually not the case with any guy. If they aren't showing feelings it's usually because they don't have them. You're too young to be mixed up in this mess. Find a nice guy that will appreciate you.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 KaseyL06, he just got ouf of a marriage, I think all he needs right now is a good friend to help him out, for a sholder to lean on rather than dating other women right now.
annabelle75 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Listen to what he is telling you. He doesn't want a commitment. He doesn't consider you his girlfriend. He doesn't think you are even dating. I have no doubt he is being totally honest with you. As was said above, if a guy is acting like he doesn't have feelings for you its a safe bet he doesn't. Men really aren't as complicated as us girls like to pretend they are. Often times we make too many excuses for their actions in order to interpret them in a way we find favorable. The truth is, if he wanted to be your boyfriend, he would be. For now it would seem you are just convenient. I'm sorry to have to say that to you.
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