Gia77 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years. We mentioned possibly getting married but we never made serious plans yet. I'm just enjoying things as they are and taking life one day at a time. I don't believe in nagging a guy to propose, but letting him do it when he feels ready. But I think it's really annoying when people (mostly women) ask me when I'm getting married. One or two (women only of course) even had the gall to suggest that I push/nag him b/c my "clock is ticking" (which I don't feel it is but even if it is, then that's my problem and my business). Am I the only one who thinks this is really rude? Second what's worse is when people ask the big question in front of my boyfriend. He usually just shakes his head "NO" really hard when they ask if we are getting married any time soon. I don't really know what to make of that..Is he just doing that b/c he was just put on the spot and would like to just shut the person up? Or does he really find the idea of marrying me that repulsive? Any thoughts, experiences would help. Thanks.
sb129 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I have a few couples as friends, and they are getting the same kinds of questions all the time, as am I (have only been with WB since Oct!) One couple got married last year and have just had their first child, the male half of the couple was the type that didn't take too well to pressure- eventually everyone got bored of asking them and thats the exact time he popped the question!
Pyro Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years. We mentioned possibly getting married but we never made serious plans yet. I'm just enjoying things as they are and taking life one day at a time. I don't believe in nagging a guy to propose, but letting him do it when he feels ready. But I think it's really annoying when people (mostly women) ask me when I'm getting married. One or two (women only of course) even had the gall to suggest that I push/nag him b/c my "clock is ticking" (which I don't feel it is but even if it is, then that's my problem and my business). Am I the only one who thinks this is really rude? Second what's worse is when people ask the big question in front of my boyfriend. He usually just shakes his head "NO" really hard when they ask if we are getting married any time soon. I don't really know what to make of that..Is he just doing that b/c he was just put on the spot and would like to just shut the person up? Or does he really find the idea of marrying me that repulsive? Any thoughts, experiences would help. Thanks. I feel the exact same way as the bolded sentence. Once my older brother got married a couple of months ago, the gates opened and the questioning began. In fact, while I was walking down the aisle (I was a groomsman), I had two different extended family members ask me if I was next in line. It didn't annoy me, but it amazed me just how fast people were to ask me that question.
amber1 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Never nag a guy to marry you regardless of what your friends say. Not only is it rude, but it is a big turnoff. I would let him do it when he is ready. Now, if you are still wondering when he is going to do it a couple of years from now, I would get out because then he may never do it.
VIP Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Tell them you are not planning to get married. I think after this they will never ask you this question again.
rainfall Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Tell them you are not planning to get married. I think after this they will never ask you this question again. I wish this would work. Everytime someone asks me when I am going to marry my bf and I say never because I don't believe in marriage they always ask me again a few months later.
CancerianQueen Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years. We mentioned possibly getting married but we never made serious plans yet. I'm just enjoying things as they are and taking life one day at a time. I don't believe in nagging a guy to propose, but letting him do it when he feels ready. But I think it's really annoying when people (mostly women) ask me when I'm getting married. One or two (women only of course) even had the gall to suggest that I push/nag him b/c my "clock is ticking" (which I don't feel it is but even if it is, then that's my problem and my business). Am I the only one who thinks this is really rude? Second what's worse is when people ask the big question in front of my boyfriend. He usually just shakes his head "NO" really hard when they ask if we are getting married any time soon. I don't really know what to make of that..Is he just doing that b/c he was just put on the spot and would like to just shut the person up? Or does he really find the idea of marrying me that repulsive? Any thoughts, experiences would help. Thanks. Some people are not all that interested in getting married. I am a female and I am not all too keen on the idea. I do think it's rude for people to be asking you and him when you are going to get married and if I were you I'd ask them to quit doing it. It really isn't any of their business and there is nothing wrong with the two of you not tying the knot.
KneelBeforeZod Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years. We mentioned possibly getting married but we never made serious plans yet. I'm just enjoying things as they are and taking life one day at a time. I don't believe in nagging a guy to propose, but letting him do it when he feels ready. But I think it's really annoying when people (mostly women) ask me when I'm getting married. One or two (women only of course) even had the gall to suggest that I push/nag him b/c my "clock is ticking" (which I don't feel it is but even if it is, then that's my problem and my business). Am I the only one who thinks this is really rude? Second what's worse is when people ask the big question in front of my boyfriend. He usually just shakes his head "NO" really hard when they ask if we are getting married any time soon. I don't really know what to make of that..Is he just doing that b/c he was just put on the spot and would like to just shut the person up? Or does he really find the idea of marrying me that repulsive? Any thoughts, experiences would help. Thanks. Yeah I wouldn't pressure him into anything, let him think it's his idea if/when it happens. I think he shakes his head NO to shut the person up -- that's what I used to do. If you are really curious you might just ask him directly if he has thought about getting married. Not to pressure him, just to get his opinion. The way you ask will have a lot to do with the way he answers, I think. People are rude!
dropdeadlegs Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 We used to get that question all the time too, but I haven't heard it lately. My answer was "probably never" and his was "probably never, but thanks for asking." I do think it is rude to ask. His ex wife used to ask a lot. One day I said "I've been married twice and it just hasn't worked out for me. She replied "I've been married four times!" I then responded "Thanks for proving my point." She hasn't asked since. The last time someone asked me I said we would get married when one of us was on oxygen with one foot in the grave. People just assume that everyone wants to be married, which simply isn't true. I can't say what your BF implies by his hard head shaking. Could be to shut them up with an adamant answer, could be to insist they stop putting ideas in your head. Some people never want to get married. That doesn't mean they don't want a commitment to grow old together, they just don't want the legality. Gene Simmons said "men want to get married, they just don't want to get divorced." All too often marriages end.
norajane Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 I wish this would work. Everytime someone asks me when I am going to marry my bf and I say never because I don't believe in marriage they always ask me again a few months later. If your bf were the marrying kind and asked you, would you turn him down?
KenzieAbsolutely Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 it gets even worse when you're actually engaged and trying to enjoy your engagement without rushing. if you don't have your centerpieces picked out the week after, and if you haven't scurried down that aisle 12months after that ring, well, then you obviously aren't serious about your engagement, or marriage for that matter. pish-posh. people suck. i am so ready to elope and then see how pissed off everyone is when i say i do without them, under my terms, with OUR happiness in mind.
Micke81 Posted August 23, 2007 Posted August 23, 2007 Say, October 31, 2013... then promptly ask when they are having kids. Or if they aren't married, when they are going to lose that extra 5-15 lbs...or any other thing that might annoy them. Maybe they'll get the drift. I once bought a particularly annoying couple a book on how to conceive even though I knew they didn't want kids after too many comments on when we were getting married.
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