rdavies Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I recently ended a three-month "relationship" with a guy who came on strong, but then seemed to lose all interest, take me for granted, etc. As soon as I broke up with him, he suddenly got interested again, appologized for taking me for granted, etc. I've been down this road before with other people -- very painfully -- and knew it would never work out. I told him so, firmly. I followed all the "rules" for breaking up -- and we talked it over for about 3 hours, at the end of which he stormed off. But then the phone calls, emails and texts started. He even showed up at my office. I sent a nice, polite but firm email saying that i thought it was best that we not speak to eachother anymore and asked him not to contact me. A few days passed. Now he keeps emailing me asking me why I won't "just" see him in person to say goodbye one more time. We only dated a few months. Honestly, I don't think he even liked me very much. I think his whole desire to see each other again has very little to do with me, and more to do with his own issues. I believe him when he says he doesn't want to get back together again. I really don't want to see him again. But his manipulations are working. I'm feeling guilty. Am I terrible person for not responding? Do I somehow "owe" him anything? I think he feels guilty and wants me to absolve him of something, but I just want to move on. And I'd understand more if we hadn't already talked the whole thing over in person. But we did. Everything I've read here -- and certainly in my own experience as a dumpee -- indicates that No Contact is really the best way to go, for both parties. Is it ok for me to stick to my guns and keep ignoring the email?
Trialbyfire Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 If it's only pride keeping him coming back, why would you bend to this? It will only provide him the opportunity to emotionally abuse you. I'm all for shutting things down when there's no reason to keep a connection. In keeping your silence and distance, both of you end up with room to get over the cessation of the relationship. You gave him finality.
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