ShadowU12345 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 I have a problem and something I have wanted to get off of my chest about my best friend. I have wanted to tell him this for a little while now but I did not want to burn any bridges. Ok here it goes. For a few months now my best friend for life has been a complete ass and jerk. I have also realized that he has very very bad anger control issues. He has went as far as punching poles, doors, walls, and even a refrigerator and resulted in breaking his hand. He seems to ALWAYS be in a bad mood now and has always been but it has gotten a lot worse. I seriously can't even stand to associate with him anymore. And thats where the problem comes in. See he is my cousin and best friend since I was little and I don't want to completely abondon our friendship, I just want to kinda tell him off and show him his error without ending it right there. He drops the F-Bomb(f*ck) at the beginning and middle of every sentence he says and it makes me just want to end the conversation right there. So now that you know my problem can someone please help me by giving me some tips or ideas for any way to let him down, I would appreciate it.
curiousnycgirl Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Do you have any idea of what could be causing his suddenly worse mood? Perhaps something is going on that he is having trouble dealing with. I would tell him flat out that his lack of physical control while angry, coupled with his foul language are really not working for you. Tell him that while you are there to help if there is anything you can help with - that you will have to limit your exposure if these things happen. I wouldn't say - hey dude we're through. I would just make other plans and live my life. Make sense?
Guest Posted September 5, 2007 Posted September 5, 2007 My advice is not to just throw your long friendship away. But you need to talk to him about the way you feel. Even though things are different between guys and girls regaurding friendships, but talking is always the best thing to do. Ask him if there is anything that he is going through that you don't know about. Because usually people don't want to just come out and say certin things. So just ask, maybe there is something he's going through that you could possibly help him through. If he says there is nothing. Then just tell him how you feel. Tell him that you feel like his behavior is starting to get out of control and it makes you feel like you don't want to be associated with someone with so much anger, but you also don't want to give up such a long friendship that means alot to you. Tell him that if things don't change and he can't control his anger or get some help then you might have to lay low, and not hang around him so much. Sometimes no matter how bad you want someone in your life because you've been friends for so long or because you love the person they used to be, they aren't ment to be in your life. You've sometimes got to think of yourself and way the friend makes you feel. If talking to him just upsets him, just tell him that your sorry, but you thought thats what friends were for and if you can't talk to him then maybe your friendship isn't what you thought it was. Hope that will help. I kinda just rambled. ha. But hopefully its helpful.
My2Cents2 Posted September 8, 2007 Posted September 8, 2007 Did you resolve this issue? I used to live with my brother and he drove me nuts. Finally, I wrote him a letter because I could control the tone of my writing better than I could control my tone in a conversation. I told him I loved him and always would, but that he was a jerk. Then I told him why he was a jerk. He gave me the silent treatment for a while, but what can I say? You cannot divorce your family. I moved out when I could, but at least he knew how I felt. That was difficult but it was a great lesson for me. When my friends drive me nuts, if they are worth keeping I write them an e-mail. If not, I just let it go. People are basically selfish, but sometimes they don't realize how it affects others unless someone tells them.
Curmudgeon Posted September 9, 2007 Posted September 9, 2007 Have you considered the possibiity that he's drinking and/or doing drugs or it may be the onset of a mental disorder and he can't help himself.
StandByMe Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 An outlet might help. Maybe if he took up a martial arts class he would be less pissed off all the time. And he would be able to defend himself better if he needed to. Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, and Muay Thai kickboxing are probably the best ones out there (practical for self-defense). But, for the love of God stay away from Tae Kwon Do, that stuff doesn't work in the real world.
Recommended Posts