dt311unity Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 So the last month has been great with my girl. We took a little break a while ago and ever since we got back together we have had a greater appreciation for each other. Last night she was crabby because she was hungry. Well we were both lazy and couldn't decide what we wanted and ended up just going up to our room and going to bed. Well, she continued to be crabby like it was my fault. Then she starts talking about how this last week has been bad with our relationship. She said it feels like it's getting to be like it was before we took our break. She said I don't look at her the same. So she said she has been feeling unhappy. She said she is tired of doing the same thing all the time. I tell her to come up with new things to do because she doesn't really like to do a lot of things. So I have been doing everything to make her happy. I call her during the day to talk to her real quick inbetween things at work, I leave her little messages on her car in the morning that she gets when she leaves for work after me, I tell her I appreciate her when she does things around the house. Tonight I'm going salsa dancing with her for god's sake. How much more could a girl ask for? I'm a frickin metal head. I don't dance, yet alone salsa dance. But I told her I would give it a shot and be open minded about it. The night before last we were talking about sex and how I wish we had more of it and she said that she has felt really good emotionally so her sexual desire hasn't been as high because she is so satisfied emotionally. Then we have our conversation last night. It's kind of confusing. It's like she keeps track on a weekly basis of how good our relationship is doing. If we have a busy week and don't get to spend a lot of time together then she gets all bent out of shape and wonders if the relationship is going to work. She has her idea in her head that a relationship should be happy all the time, no matter what. I tell her that it's something you need to constantly work on. I don't know if she was just extra crabby because she was hungry or what. I'm not always happy about everything. I wish we had sex more and that she would do more things around the house like laundry, dishes, cleaning. But I don't get mad with her about it or keep track of it or anything. It's just little **** that I don't let get to me, you know? Anyways, let me know what you all think. Ideas, suggestions whatever...
Alexandra-Girl Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Hey Unity, In all honesty, I think you need to read a book called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"... it isn't a long read and it would help you immensly. You are a typical Mars and your women is a typical Venus just by your posting alone. I suggest more men read this book and their relationships would be much smoother. You and your lady have very different communication styles. When she is talking to you, she wants you to hear her and validate her feelings. You on the other hand take her 'problems' as things that need to 'fixed'. She isn't looking for a fix (solution - i.e. do this to stop that) but just a simple tight hug or a nod here and there - essentially, someone who listens and lets her vent WITHOUT offering solutions. You are taking her problems (vents) in a defensive manner (typical mars behaviour), which only lead to further tension. The problems aren't really about you or the relationship, she is just venting that the communication is off. If you listen to her and hug her when she is upset - she will calm down and move to the next problem - until she really runs out by sheer exhaustion. Women like to talk about problems, AND lots of them at once (we don't even talk about them in a logical order). We move on from one to the next, to the next, etc. Men focus on ONE problem until they find a rational resolution. Women don't seek resolution, they seek communication - which to us, fixes our problems by emotionally outletting ourselves. I suggest that all men read this book at least once. We would all have better relationships because we would understand that we do feel fulfilled, but in different ways throughout the relationship. You just need to learn the signs. Good luck Alex
norajane Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 She has her idea in her head that a relationship should be happy all the time, no matter what. That spells disaster. Anyone who truly believes this is going to be sadly disappointed all the time. Yes, you should generally be satisfied in a relationship. But that doesn't mean it doesn't take work, or that anyone should expect to be happy all the time. As for you, you may let some things slide that may be less important - like doing the dishes - but if you are dissatisfied with your sex life, that will become a big problem. Meaning, if you're not getting enough now and she's satisfied, then you have a mismatch in sex drives. That will likely lead to more and more discontent and resentment on your part. You really need to see eye to eye on the importance and quality and quantity of sex. Advice? Make sure you keep your eyes open here. I see some red flags.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 We were talking about sex and how I wish we had more of it and she said that she has felt really good emotionally so her sexual desire hasn't been as high because she is so satisfied emotionally. Sorry as a woman I call BS on this statement. Women are always saying that they cannot connect with their man sexually until he connects with them emotionally- so why in the world would it make her desire LESS if she's emotionally satisfied? That certainly doesn't make sense to me and I bet it doesn't make sense to alot of women.
tupactip Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Mz. Pixie plz got in touch with me msn [email protected] is my email and msn messager my aim is tupactipn9ne plz get in touch asap
allina Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Mz. Pixie plz got in touch with me msn [email protected] is my email and msn messager my aim is tupactipn9ne plz get in touch asap ....................how odd. Do you know her IRL or are you making this request off her reply to you?
Mz. Pixie Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Mz. Pixie plz got in touch with me msn [email protected] is my email and msn messager my aim is tupactipn9ne plz get in touch asap You may send me a PM if you need to get in touch with me.
tupactip Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 You may send me a PM if you need to get in touch with me. i dont know how on this board i tried that is why i made a post about it thanks much love
Enema Posted August 26, 2007 Posted August 26, 2007 I wish I had a cyber stalker, they look like fun. Anywayyyy... It seems like you're far more invested in this relationship than she is. It doesn't sound like a partnership, it sounds like a boss and her employee. It's too late because now she expects you be her bitch and keep jumping through hoops for her. Cut the strings and in the next relationship, don't be a lapdog.
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