SanDiegoGuy Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 [FONT=Arial]Hi all. I’m new and this is just my second original post. I’ve been reading though a lot of threads (back story…I’m a single guy involved with a MW) and as I read, I wonder how many of you OW or OM have been asked…’just wait for me, I’ll be there’ kinda thing. I got that speech and I think it’s just her way of trying to say….’don’t do have sex or date’ while spending every night in her husband’s bed.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]As I write this it seems like common sense, but I’m curious to other’s experiences and if you heard that, how you responded. I mean, I didn’t have the balls to say what was on my mind (i.e…..’come on…you sleep with someone else other than me every night…..’)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Anyway….. I’ve already received a lot of great info and validation and realization on this site that I’m not the only one going through all this stuff….[/FONT]
movinon05 Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 SDG, I already told you. I waited 7 yrs. And he also "forbade" me to see anyone else because it would "prove" to him that I didn't love him as much. Lots of hypocrisy going on, I know. But once you get dragged into the emotions, its almost impossible not to. We can tell you all day long about going NC and waiting her "3 months", but so few people are able to do that. They get paranoid. Did I see you say in another thread that even though she says NC, she still calls you, contacts you, etc? This should be another flag. She asks you for NC, but she cannot keep it up herself. She is betwixt and between and she WILL drag you through everything she has to deal with. I'm sorry to be the voice of doom, but I've just lived it and seen too many stories over and over. I cannot sit here and give you hope. I'd love to be wrong - for you.
Author SanDiegoGuy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Posted August 16, 2007 SDG, I already told you. I waited 7 yrs. And he also "forbade" me to see anyone else because it would "prove" to him that I didn't love him as much. Lots of hypocrisy going on, I know. But once you get dragged into the emotions, its almost impossible not to. We can tell you all day long about going NC and waiting her "3 months", but so few people are able to do that. They get paranoid. Did I see you say in another thread that even though she says NC, she still calls you, contacts you, etc? This should be another flag. She asks you for NC, but she cannot keep it up herself. She is betwixt and between and she WILL drag you through everything she has to deal with. I'm sorry to be the voice of doom, but I've just lived it and seen too many stories over and over. I cannot sit here and give you hope. I'd love to be wrong - for you. Oh, believe me, you aren't hurting my feelings. :-) The more validation I get, the more strength. And yes, you are correct about my other thread. And yes, I know you are right. It's just good to hear the (your) voice of reason and experience. I really do appreciate it!
Love4Eternity Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Since I am a mw and with a mm I expect us to only be with each other aside from our spouses but if he were single or I was single and either of us still married then that's another story. your single and you should be able to see others as she is still married, as long as she still married she is not committed to just you so you shouldn't have to be just committed to her, know what I mean? until she commits to you, I wouldn't settle that's just my stance on it...
Author SanDiegoGuy Posted August 16, 2007 Author Posted August 16, 2007 Since I am a mw and with a mm I expect us to only be with each other aside from our spouses but if he were single or I was single and either of us still married then that's another story. your single and you should be able to see others as she is still married, as long as she still married she is not committed to just you so you shouldn't have to be just committed to her, know what I mean? until she commits to you, I wouldn't settle that's just my stance on it... You're right. I know it. In a weird (sick?) way....I actually fell like I'm cheating on HER (MW) if I were to go out. Even though we all know where she is sleeping every night. Can't explain it......just......weird.
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