LoveLace Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 Yea so me and the roommate/friend of 10 yrs. have grown more fond of each other lately or whatever you wanna call it; we've gotten a lot closer; but the other night we got into kind of a big argument, which prompted to just be honest with him. We yelled at each other on the phone and we both said it's time for "the end"; which we have done before, we're going back and forth like a swing. It definitely feels we're married sometimes. I know the general opinion among those who have followed this story, but for now I simply want to know what he might be thinking at the moment. Anyhow, after the argument I gave him a small letter that pretty much explained what he calls "female behavior"....it said I"m ready to be honest and that messing around isn't going enhance my feelings for him, because the feelings are already there to begin with, and I even pointed out some of the things about him that I adore. At the same time, it was going off on him for some things that were said/done. Before reading it, he was still pissed at me and said it's time to talk about "the end". But after reading it (I was there when he did)....he was suddenly quiet and calm. Then he had to work and I didn't see him again until last night. His daughter was home which makes privacy next to impossible; but he was quite nice (not overly nice though) and offering to do little nice things for me, like I was laying on the floor watching TV and he asked me if I wanted him to blow up the air mattress for me...which I said no...but there's nothing I love more than a guy who looks out for my comfort. Not that this was a 1st for him but it was nice. I wasn't looking at or talking to him much, nor was I acting very enthused about his being nice. But before going to bed I said "I take you are not pissed at me anymore"...and he shook his head, with a trivial look on his face and was quick to say no to that question. I said we'll talk more but I was too tired at the moment. Now I won't see him again for another 2 days because he'll be working. But he isn't calling to say we should still talk about "the end", and if you ask me we still should. I won't call him over the next 2 days while he's at work, nor will he unless it's a very slow night. So knowing how I feel for sure now, how can he still think it's a good idea for me to stay? First he was fed up with my "female behavior", but now that he knows the real reason, it's okay? Does he need time to think more or something? I've made it clear that our situation is becoming too hard for me. So why isn't he saying anything now? If I called him today and said "let's talk about the end"...I wonder what he would say? Perhaps he's waiting for me to do this? I don't know when we'll be alone again, but part of me wants to wait and see what happens then...cuz I would for sure bring it up then. Funny little story -- I found out he told his kids once (a while back) that he could "never marry" me....the funny part is, I remember him telling me years ago that he could "never marry" his Ex --- and he was engaged to her like 2 yrs. later-- and after leaving him he was one hurt man....not saying it really means he wants to marry me for heavens sake; but with his Ex it's as though he was saying the opposite of how he really felt.
matwithonet Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 Lovelace, I'm in the same situation as you. I let my best friend of like 8 years know that I've been falling for her. Now I've talked to her twice since then on the phone and she hasn't mentioned the messages that I've sent her. Now the point in telling you a little about my situation is, try and think about what kind of person the guy is that you told. Because the thing I'm now thinking is, she is the kind of person that ALWAYS speaks her mind. So what I'm thinking is, she obviously does have some kind of feelings for me because she must be thinking about it because if she didn't, she would have told me in the beginning. So I guess just maybe consider that he might be thinking really strongly about this. It's a big decision.
Author LoveLace Posted August 16, 2007 Author Posted August 16, 2007 Lovelace, I'm in the same situation as you. I let my best friend of like 8 years know that I've been falling for her. Now I've talked to her twice since then on the phone and she hasn't mentioned the messages that I've sent her. Now the point in telling you a little about my situation is, try and think about what kind of person the guy is that you told. Because the thing I'm now thinking is, she is the kind of person that ALWAYS speaks her mind. So what I'm thinking is, she obviously does have some kind of feelings for me because she must be thinking about it because if she didn't, she would have told me in the beginning. So I guess just maybe consider that he might be thinking really strongly about this. It's a big decision. matwithonet - I really hope it all works out for you! I saw Tom last night and we agreed to get together this weekend to discuss things. I sensed a bit of distance from him but at one point he looked me right in the face; anyhow the important thing is that I'm not scared of any of this anymore, I'm not scared to discuss my feelings with him, in fact I can't wait to get it off my chest, even though I have some already (on paper). And if he's willing to let me go I'm already liking the thought of a new beginning; if he doesn't want to let me go, I hope he's up for the challenge of keeping me around...not counting on it, but oh well! I have no regrets and moving out would put me back into the wilderness and I would no longer feel like I'm in a rocky marriage with my best friend! I feel like I win either way!!
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