hrtbroken99 Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I hate this. Its been 10months and I am still sitting here whining and crying like its been 10 weeks. I thought this NC stuff was suppose to help you heal and get over but all its done for me the past 10months is remind me just how much I really love my ex and want back. All it does is make the pain harder to tolerate not being able to be with him. I don't know what to do. Should I just break this NC nonsense that I am doing which isn't really even working for me and contact him? face the consequences of rejection? maybe that is what I need. For him to reject me and give me a reality check to get over it. I am so confused, so sad, and hurt. It has been so long and I cry like it happened just a week ago. I feel so hopeless.
discoverychannel Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I hate this. Its been 10months and I am still sitting here whining and crying like its been 10 weeks. I thought this NC stuff was suppose to help you heal and get over but all its done for me the past 10months is remind me just how much I really love my ex and want back. All it does is make the pain harder to tolerate not being able to be with him. I don't know what to do. Should I just break this NC nonsense that I am doing which isn't really even working for me and contact him? face the consequences of rejection? maybe that is what I need. For him to reject me and give me a reality check to get over it. I am so confused, so sad, and hurt. It has been so long and I cry like it happened just a week ago. I feel so hopeless. I can't tell you if contacting him again will help you get over him. But will really having contact with him during these 10 months made it not as depressing as now? ANd make it easier to get over him? It is like a wound. If you keep irritating the wound then it will be much harder for it to heal than if you just let it have some breathing space. BUt really it doesn't matter if you contact him or not, because he is out of your life now. Right now what you need is to focus your life on YOURSELF. This is what NC is for. A chance to re-evaluate and reflect on yourself. IT's not about getting over someone, but learning to live without someone and loving yourself. so Stop moping over something that is not there anymore, and start living in the present! i hope i helped:bunny:
RocketMan2 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Hey there, Not got a great deal of advice i'm afraid, but knowing you feel as crappy as i do after 8 months of NC has cheered me up a bit, at least im not alone. Hopefully i can do the same for you Rocket
frd150 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Well I see that Im not the only one. In the past I have been good at moving on. This time has been hell. Not quite 10 months but getting there. You really need to think about the contact thing. I know that everytime she calls me all nice and what not i slide back a few notches with false hope. All I can say is you need to get involved with as many activities as you can to fill up your free time. Its that free time that gets me,I just start to think and think. Your not alone.
Ormolu611 Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 I can't tell you if contacting him again will help you get over him. But will really having contact with him during these 10 months made it not as depressing as now? ANd make it easier to get over him? It is like a wound. If you keep irritating the wound then it will be much harder for it to heal than if you just let it have some breathing space. BUt really it doesn't matter if you contact him or not, because he is out of your life now. Right now what you need is to focus your life on YOURSELF. This is what NC is for. A chance to re-evaluate and reflect on yourself. IT's not about getting over someone, but learning to live without someone and loving yourself. so Stop moping over something that is not there anymore, and start living in the present! i hope i helped:bunny: I can identify with this whole discussion. For me, I just realized this morning that it has been 6 months since she left me. This realization only made me more depressed. It does make me feel better to know that I am not necessarily freakish for still having a difficult time 6 months after the fact. At the same time, it worries me. How long is this crap going to go on for? I was in this relationship for 10 years, nearly a third of my life. When she left, my world was turned upside down. I am still reeling, but making a hell of an effort to recover. 6 months of no contact, and back to the point of this thread, I wonder sometimes about no contact myself. Now, I know that I will never break it being the dumpee, but I often wonder what is going to become of all of this. I keep feeling like something is supposed to happen. As if, this can't be it, can it? I have been keeping very busy socially in the last 6 months, and I have even dated, but nothing distracts me for very long from this persistent thorn that will simply not go away. Am I to languish like this for another 6 months? Scary indeed.
Jaded Girl Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 I can totally relate to all you guys, but i want to say i did not believe anyone when they told me that, time heals all wounds, and in time it will get better, i thought it was total BULLS@@@, but i am here today and, i can say it does get better. i still cried myself to sleep 9months after my break up, i still ached to be with my ex, i lived in a small town, and the thought of seeing him with someone else gave me panic attacks, so i ended up moving out for 6 months(Yes i had to run) thats how much i was screwed up, and i know that this is a drastic measure, but i had 2. And what can i say the time apart did me wonders, new city, new life, new beginning. I know not everyone can do what i did, but sometimes you need to get away, it was still very difficult to cope a few months in, but today i am doing great, i would say i am 90% better, but i know that i loved my ex so i embrace the 10% because i know now that apart of him will always be with me, i accepted that and moved on. Good luck guys, and know in time it will get better....................
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