bish Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I say they should divorce so he can move on with his life and find someone who is not as cold and money hungry. surprise surprise....champion a cheaters cause again.
Scrivdog Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 surprise surprise....champion a cheaters cause again. That's uncalled for, besides being just plain moronic.
silktricks Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 You suspect correctly. And you can't blame her for it. And she will NEVER trust you 100% again. And again, you can't blame her for it. Bish, this is what you believe because YOU can't trust again. It is not true for everyone. Thats all that needs to be said right there. I'd say divorce her so she can move on with her life and find someone else. I don't think either is happy, so divorce may be the right thing in this situation. And it doesn't really seem like either is willing or capable of putting in both the effort and the time to fix a broken marriage.
bish Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Bish, this is what you believe because YOU can't trust again. It is not true for everyone. Notice I said 100%...I didn't say that she can't gain SOME level of trust back. But you'd be an absolute fool to put 100% trust back into a cheater. Even a therpist will tell you that.
bish Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 That's uncalled for, besides being just plain moronic. Only to a cheater.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 surprise surprise....champion a cheaters cause again. I never said that it was right for him to cheat. But I will champion him and say that he's worked hard on himself and his marriage and she has contributed nothing. Should he left before he cheated? Absolutely. The fact of the matter is that he didn't and he's worked hard on his marriage since then. As a matter of fact he seemed to have been a good husband before then. What I'm saying is the truth- you may not want to hear it- but don't meet your spouses emotional needs at your own peril. That makes your marriage vulnerable for an affair- and IMO Ms. H2T had been treating him like shxt before the affairs happened. Did she deserve for him to cheat? I'm not saying that. But I'm saying the things she did left him vulnerable to an affair. If you don't believe me, read some information by Willard Harley. Every situation is not cut and dry and if you'd quit projecting your anger at whatever happened to you towards every situation you'd possibly begin to heal.
bish Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 What I'm saying is the truth- you may not want to hear it- but don't meet your spouses emotional needs at your own peril. That makes your marriage vulnerable for an affair- and IMO Ms. H2T had been treating him like shxt before the affairs happened. Did she deserve for him to cheat? I'm not saying that. Sure you are. Every situation is not cut and dry and if you'd quit projecting your anger at whatever happened to you towards every situation you'd possibly begin to heal. Nope..what happened to me has made me stronger. It will protect me from it never happening again without me giving a swift boot to the curb to a cheater promptly rather than trying to sit around and analyze it wondering if it will ever get better. No more 2nd chances.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Sure you are Ummm, no I'm not. In fact, I said at least twice in my post that he shouldn't have cheated. And, in earlier threads I gave him some swift kicks about entitlement etc. Nope..what happened to me has made me stronger. It will protect me from it never happening again without me giving a swift boot to the curb to a cheater promptly rather than trying to sit around and analyze it wondering if it will ever get better. No more 2nd chances. Good for you Bish. Unfortunately becoming bitter and spewing hatred to people in this situation will not speed your personal recovery.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 As a side note I always find it very interesting when a person is hammering their ex mate so hard for cheating and refuses to accept any responsibility for anything that might have been wrong in the marriage. My husband's exwife cheated on him and left him for the OM. She was pregnant by OM before the divorce was final. When I met him he admitted he knew he'd done things in the marriage which left it vulnerable to an affair. He owned his behavior. He didn't condone her affair but he accepted responsibility for his part in the demise of their marriage. That was something I had to respect. He worked on himself, in therapy, while they were separated and divorcing. When she wouldn't go to MC, he went alone, and I have reaped the benefit from that counseling.
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