spookie Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Oh for goodness sake Miss!!!!!!!!! Ok I am going to give this to you with no frills ok? Sorry if I offend but I have to say this Get over him, he is the biggest jerk that lived!!!!!!!!!!! He is vile he is narccissitic He is obsessive He is a manic depressive He is abusive He calls you names He enjoys lowering your self esteem and makes you feel like crap He is ugly on the inside He is a liar He is the pits honey and you miss that??????????????? Do you miss the roller coaster and the abuse? Do you miss being second best and being treated like dirt? Do you miss being compared to the ex and being told to lose weight? Get a grip! The guy is Mr Loser from Loserville! You will look back on him one day and realise what a lucky escape you had! Trust me! Very well put.
woodsfield Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 i think he is still obsessed with her and was when we were together. it really really hurts to think that the whole time i thought he loved me, he was still in love with her and i couldnt compare to her. i think you are still obsessed with him, that's why you can't get past him. read all the SH-T that he put you thru...it PAINS me to know that you still have feelings for this guy. Lishy has given some good advice....i'm a man and i would not be able to sleep at night if i had done some of the things that you said he has done to you...he SUCKS! For the love of God, find someone or something else to keep your mind off of him. he is a large POS and doesn't deserve your time, attention or thoughts WHATSOEVER.
jcster Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 If you don't stop picking that scab - it will never heal. Take his number out of the phone so you can't drunk call him again. Change your bar and leave him alone.
StaringContest Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I just realized I skipped a really important post. mmb, I had no idea you'd been talking to him. Things are on relatively good terms now, so just let them be. Don't give him another chance to berate and insult you. He's right about one thing. There's no reason to keep in contact. Can you tell me why how he feels about you even matters? You made the mistake of dating a jerk who probably wasn't over his ex. Now you're familiar with some of the warning signs. Learn from this and move on. The biggest step in moving on is, like jcster said, not continually re-opening the wound.
Author missmebaby Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 i remind myself every day how much of a jerk and a loser he is. i guess i care about how he feels because i dont want to feel like our relationship was all a lie. i dont see how someone that truly loved you, cared about you, and really wanted to spend lots of time with you, as well as wanted to move in together and get married can suddenly just leave you for dead and not ever want to talk to you again. also, if he shows he cares about me at all then i will know that all the mean, hurtful things he said to me were lies, and he is not as happy as he is pretending. now that he is treating me like this i wonder what our relationship really meant. i feel like if i can figure out whether he honestly doesnt give a crap about me or if he is just saying those things to hurt my feelings because he thinks i have moved on, then i can figure out what i ever meant to him. but i guess it doesnt matter and i need to just forget about him. i am so mad at him for treating me the way he did, i never ever deserved it. i dont understand how someone can treat someone so badly and not feel bad or even realize that they did anything wrong. he tore my self esteem apart and made me feel like this is all my fault. i wish i could make him see what a messed up person he is!
jcster Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 now that he is treating me like this i wonder what our relationship really meant. i feel like if i can figure out whether he honestly doesnt give a crap about me or if he is just saying those things to hurt my feelings because he thinks i have moved on, then i can figure out what i ever meant to him. This is the essence of why you stayed in the relationship with him and won't let it go now. There are 2 ugly sides to an abusive relationship - the abuser, and the "victim" who gains relevance and purpose from the abuse. Would you stand next to a stranger on the bus who screamed obscenities at you and hit you? Of course not! But add the twisted drama and high emotion of a relationship to the scenario, and viola, you're the star in your own soap opera! It's heady stuff, and it's addicting, and it messes up your conception of self. You only need to know what you meant to him because you can't stand not being in the spotlight any more. i dont understand how someone can treat someone so badly and not feel bad or even realize that they did anything wrong. he tore my self esteem apart and made me feel like this is all my fault. i wish i could make him see what a messed up person he is! This is where you are denying all responsibility for staying in the relationship. I'm not saying that it's right that he treated you that way, but there are 2 sides to that street. My advice is that you should deal with your part of this mess. Ask yourself why you accepted this type of treatment and why it was so hard for you to leave. Right now you are focusing on him so that you don't have to look at yourself. I have a feeling this has been the case for a long time, and it's time to look in the mirror. I know this all sounds harsh, but this isn't a car accident we're talking about, it's a relationship. You weren't an innocent bystander, you were a participant. If you learn how to stop that behavior, then you will never have to experience it again. Stay strong, learn to love yourself, and be the star of your own show.
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