after 8 months he finally tells me THIS?!?!?

[missmebaby]

well i still have his stuff...between school and work i havent had time to run to his house while he isnt there. he hasnt called me either. he went from calling me everyday saying he wanted his stuff back to not calling me at all or saying he doesnt have time when i tell him i need to bring it back while hes there so he can give me the money he owes me. maybe he just doesnt want to see me. at first i thought it was because he was trying to have an excuse to keep communication open or to still have a connection to me somehow. but now i wonder if he just doesnt want to see me and thats why he hasnt called and said he would be home to give me my money. and i dont understand why he would be trying so hard not to see me.

 

i know it shouldnt matter and im thinking about him too much but its only been a week since we've broken up and i miss him still. i dont miss the drama and i dont miss the jerk side of him but there were a lot of good times too. i still wake up in the morning feeling like im going to be sick and feeling like theres this huge hole in my heart. i wonder if he ever thinks about me. i wonder if he has someone else.

 

i am doing much much better this breakup than i did with my last boyfriend. with him i begged and pleaded and called him all the time and annoyed him. and i cried all the time. i am not near as upset during this break up but i still have my moments, like now, where i get really down. i dont think about him all that much during the day and i havent really been tempted to call him. but i do sometimes wonder whether he misses me, or thinks about me, and i wonder if hes happy, and if he really meant the mean things he said to me.

 

i went on a date last night. i just really wasnt attracted to the guy and he kind of annoyed me. he kept saying how beautiful i looked and he asked me out again and said he had a really great time. im not interested in going out with him again at all and it kind of made me depressed. like i feel that i will never find another guy with all the things i liked about my ex. he had a lot of good qualities and thats what kept me around for so long. he was tall, dark, and very attractive. he was a big strong guy who was the outdoors type, he was very clean cut and dressed very nice, makes a lot of money, and has not slept with a lot of girls. he knew how to build, fix, and work on everything. his family and friends liked me. we had a lot of the same interests, and he rarely drinks or goes out partying. he got along great with my family and they loved him. i feel like i will never find a guy even close to that.

[jcster]

i went on a date last night. i just really wasnt attracted to the guy and he kind of annoyed me. he kept saying how beautiful i looked and he asked me out again and said he had a really great time. im not interested in going out with him again at all and it kind of made me depressed. like i feel that i will never find another guy with all the things i liked about my ex.

 

Gahhhh! You went on a date?! You know what? I give up. Until you put your energy into yourself and stop pinning it on guys, you're going to go from one disaster to another. It's a lonely way to live - I did it for years. I guess we can only learn from experience. Good luck.

[Capricciosa]

Some people just have to learn the hard way. I did. Good luck to you. Try not to get too messed up.

[missmebaby]

well i did it. i returned his things. and guess who was there? HIM. i went over at a time i thought he would be at work but i guess it rained and they couldnt finish the job so they went home early. i pulled in his driveway and he was in the garage working on something. he came out, said hi, and i handed him his things. he took them and said thanks. i noticed he was like staring at me. he said "you must have a date, you're dressed up." and i said "noo i just came from school." and he said "well i know you've been so busy lately with all the guys you've gone on dates with." i just said "whatever." then i said something about how i wished we didnt have to end on bad terms. he said "oh well it doesnt really matter now, you didnt help that situation at all with all the mean things you said to me." we talked for a couple more minutes and he said something about my family and asked if they liked any of the guys that have come over to my house." im like "what are you talking about? ive gone on a few dates, thats it." then he said he was going to go back in the house and i said "so this is the last time im ever going to talk to you?" and he said "yes, i just dont really feel a need to talk to you ever again." and i said "ok i just didnt really want us to end on bad terms." and he said "this is going to sound shtty but i really have forgotten about you. like there is absolutely no feelings there not even as a friend. you havent been on my mind at all." i was really really hurt by this. i wasnt expecting it at all. but i was not going to admit it to him so i said "good...me too. and i felt bad because i thought i should care more that we broke up but i dont. its no big deal to me. usually i take break ups really hard but this one isnt really bothering me." and he said "yea this is by far the easiest one ive had to go through." and i said "yea when me and the last boyfriend broke up i was really upset." and he said "yea because you actually loved him." and i said "yea i thought i loved you but i didnt." then there was a long awkward silence so he said "well im going in the house. see ya." and i said "bye" and got in my car and left.

 

i cant believe this. i dont know what i was expecting but it certainly wasnt this. im hurting so bad i almost feel like i dont want to live anymore. im so miserable i cant stop bawling my eyes out and i havent cried over him in days. i cant believe he could say those things to me, i cant believe he would really feel that way. i think back on all the good times we had and all our memories and all the times he looked me in the eyes and smiled and said he loved me so much and wanted to marry me. THEY WERE ALL LIES. how could it all be a big fat lie? 8 months together and it was a joke, it was never what i thought it was.

 

why is he saying these things to me?? is this how he really feels or is he just trying to hurt me?? why would he want to hurt me like that?? why is he so cold hearted to me??? is he just angry at me because i am moving on? i have so much hate for him right now and i feel like i NEVER knew him.

[jcster]

why is he saying these things to me?? is this how he really feels or is he just trying to hurt me?? why would he want to hurt me like that?? why is he so cold hearted to me??? is he just angry at me because i am moving on? i have so much hate for him right now and i feel like i NEVER knew him.

 

Good for you on returning his things! Despite how much it hurt you, it sounds like it went about as well as it could.

 

Why is he trying to hurt you? Because he's hurting, and he's pissed. He messed up his relationship, and he can't believe that you would actually stand up to him. He thought he had you figured out, and that he could take it out on you whenever he felt bad. But, you surprised him. He's bitter and angry and I think it says a lot about his true character that he can't even manage a half-assed apology.

 

Put your head up, you did good. It hurts now, but in a few days, it will be better. Do NOT answer any more phone calls from him. If he texts you, delete it without reading it. The hurting WILL STOP, if you give yourself the time and space to heal.

 

I strongly urge that you don't go on any more dates for a while. Give yourself time to heal. Spend some time with yourself, reconnect with your friends. Take a break, you deserve it.

[underpants]

Miss me,

 

I am so sorry you are hurting. It will get better, I promise.

 

I am glad you returned his stuff. He has no reason to contact you. Don't find a reason to contact him and don't answer or respond to him.

 

Just take this time to heal and find your center again.

 

Wipe your tears because I am going to say some things.....

 

 

The first thing I noticed is that he didn't seem to ever find the thought in his head to give you the money he owes you. You might not have asked but hey.... He was all about this a few days ago and when presented with the chance to pay you back ....um, he forgot. He is such a little @*^#.

 

In a few days he might call you or text and mention this. Don't respond. We have agreed to let that go. He just doesn't know it yet. If you want to text you can text...'mail it' and that is it. No responding to what his replies might be. He won't mail it but whatever.

 

He is being all mean to you and harping on your post break up dates because it is the only way he can project whatever sick thing is wrong with him. He is not a nice guy, these actions that you are witnessing right now are part of his character. It is not changable, especially since he would rather blame you, his arm, his family the moon or a leaf... then look at himself. He will either wise up (this will take years) or he will find someone else to put up with it.

 

You got away. Stay away.

 

All break ups suck. They just do and it is a risk you take when you choose to enter into a romantic relationship with someone. You did nothing wrong by attempting to care for this guy. He just doesn't know how to be a good partner in return. His heart doesn't work right.

 

Now, if you keep in contact or try to play with him, or even get caught trying to explain anything to him...you are going down a bad road.

 

The best thing you can do is to take time for yourself and learn about you. I don't think it is wise to look for another boyfriend anytime soon. If you want to go on friendly dates that is understandable. I had a few terrible dates just in an attempt to feel attractive. I did not have sex with anyone and let it be known I was not ready for anything beyond friendship. I made a couple of friends so that is cool.

 

It just takes a little time.

 

I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and finishing it.

[Mary3]

This boyfriend you (had) was a very disturbing person.

 

You need to reach deep inside yourself and LOVE yourself. It takes a LONG time but you can love yourself. Its going to take alot of work.

 

I was just like you . Relationship to relationship from 14 years old. Two abusive ones , both alcoholics but that was 10 YEARS AGO ! I met a great guy and we were together for 4 years and he was not abusive. Likely was the only guy I ever loved.

 

This ex of yours is trying to HURT you deeply because he perceives you as getting on with your life ( because you say you've had a few dates ) he is very angry inside .

 

His whole demeanor is scarey. I am really surprised that he did not try to harm you when you took the things over.

 

These kind of men , some have a finality about things and if that includes shooting you and watching you die so he can get some justice and peace for what he imagines as a wrong doing , then it amazes me that he chose instead to shoot you through the heart with final words of hate and not loving you ever .

 

He managed to do ALL of these THINGS because you ALLOWED it ( the words I mean ) . There is a short cut path to all break~ups. its called NO CONTACT ! THIS is an extreme example of WHY you needed to not talk to him when you guys broke up.

 

This guy hurt you your entire relationship. He used you because he could not get that other girl back. He was angry about that. Then his * bi~polar * behavior kicked in and the abuse and depression. You were at a loss of what to do.

 

NOW you know this must stop. DO NOT go out with any guys because you are vulnerable and have sooo much to do... and you need to get some serious work done before you ever get involved with any guy again. I promise you that you will repeat the abuse pattern until you FIGURE out YOURSELF !

 

Thank God your toxic relationship is over. Your addiction to this guy is sad but we all have walked this path with the bad guys.

 

Please post here as much as you can.

 

Please stop the contact , This guy is out to rip your heart majorly....

[missmebaby]

i cant believe how hurt and upset i am. i cant stop crying. today he called me 4 times and i ignored them. he left 2 voicemails saying he forgot to give me my money and i should call him back so he can give it to me. i called him back to give him my address and he said "im sorry i didnt give it to you last night, i forgot." he was actually being nice and we were making small talk. i actually thought he was going to ask me to hang out or something. then he started in again on asking me about if im seeing anyone and if ive messed around with my ex boyfriend. then he admitted to having sex with his ex girlfriend and a 17 YEAR OLD friend of his sister's! she is still in high school and hes 8 years older than her!!! he said they did it like 10 times. then he started saying hurtful things to me like how having sex with me was so boring and he couldnt see himself having to put up with it for the rest of his life. and he actually laughed at me and said i was horrible on the top and he always thought it was funny. he said his ex and this 17 year old were amazing and hes glad he finally got rid of me because he forgot what it was like to have good sex. he said he couldnt stand it anymore and it got to the point where he just wanted to come as fast as possible and get it over with because it was so boring. he said he misses having sex for an hour and actually enjoying it. then he started in on how i started out to be a piece of azz and then he started to kind of like me so he kept me around. he said he was never ever attracted to me and that he was embarrassed to take me out in public or introduce me to his friends because i cake my makeup on and i look like hell. he said that he doesnt care about me at all, that he just plain out doesnt like me, not as a friend, definitely not as a girlfriend because i was a horrible one.

 

he said he never ever loved me. he said there was a short period of time when he thought he did and wanted to move out with me and thought maybe he would like to marry me but then he quickly realized he didnt. i really gave him a piece of my mind and let him know how i felt. i said a lot of really mean things to him and it seemed like a lot really bothered him. i hope i really made him hurt after the things he said to me!!! i said i never liked having sex with him and thats why i hardly ever wanted to do it. i told him hes a mean miserable person and hes never going to be happy and i was embarrassed to go anywhere with him because hes psycho. i told him that i just wanted to be with him towards the end because i felt bad for him. and he said "what do you mean you felt bad for me?" and i said "because i always knew there was something wrong with you and i felt bad for you and didnt want to make you feel worse." i could tell it really bothered him.

 

i know its immature to say hurtful things but he just hurt me so bad i wanted to make him feel half as bad as he made me feel!!! i cant believe that he really felt like that for 8 months...i thought maybe he was just trying to hurt me but i think he is being truthful about a lot of it. i had no idea he felt like that, i thought he was crazy about me. in the beginning i thought he was too good to be true. now i realize our relationship was all a big lie. i cant believe he really thinks all this about me, i thought he LOVED having sex with me. he was always trying to initiate it and getting so mad when i didnt want to. as soon as we would get home from somewhere he would like jump me, and he was always saying "i cant wait to get home so i can make love to you." i never knew he thought i was ugly and he was embarrassed to go anywhere with me! we used to go to dinner every night, we were around his friends a lot too. ive never hurt this bad in my life...just knowing that i was just a joke to him and he was laughing at me behind my back. i seriously just dont want to be alive anymore. there is no happiness in my life right now. i havent been with anyone since we broke up and he has slept with 2 girls...and he said they were so much better than me. i can just picture it and it kills me. he said last night when i was there his ex girlfriend was there and thats why he wanted to get back in the house and not stand outside and talk to me. he is sleeping everynight with the girl that he still loved when him and i were together and i am all alone. i dont want to do this anymore, i dont want to live such a miserable life. i dont want to hurt anymore. i have never been this depressed in my life. i cant even think straight, my heart hurts from being totally ripped apart. my self esteem is shattered.

 

why is he doing this to me, how can he be so cruel??? why does he just keep calling and calling and being nice for 5 seconds before he rips me apart again! he keeps saying i never want to talk to you again, i cant even stand you. but then he'll call me again with some excuse and he'll tear me apart and make me miserable. i have to remember him for the rest of my life. i dont want to remember having a relationship like this, i dont want to remember someone i cared about hurting me so deeply but the memory of him and all our memories is always going to be there and its always going to be a major regret of mine.

 

the worst part is that last night i told myself i would never contact him again but then he calls about my money and i think "oh ill just give him my address and that will be the end of it." but no, hes nice to me so i talk to him thinking maybe we can end this without totally hating each other but then he starts in on cutting me down and insulting me and laughing in my face.

[Lishy]

You are in a very scary situation!

 

I cannot stress enough how you need to change your number.

 

This man sounds like my ex and its gonna get worse hon!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Listen to Mary, read her post and take in what she said, she could not be more right if she tried!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OMG I am so pleased you are away from him

 

CHANGE YOUR NUMBER AND DELETE HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lishy]

You may be upset but its going to get worse

 

OMG I want to meet you and explain cos \I cant put it into words

 

Reading this has made me cry

 

PLEASE change your number

[underpants]

i cant believe how hurt and upset i am. i cant stop crying. today he called me 4 times and i ignored them. he left 2 voicemails saying he forgot to give me my money and i should call him back so he can give it to me.

 

This is when you could have just texted 'mail it' and an address. However, now I say...LEAVE THIS SITUATION ALONE...is that loud enough?

 

i called him back to give him my address and he said "im sorry i didnt give it to you last night, i forgot."

 

You owe him NO apology. You owe him nothing. You called him back, why. Do you like the attention as much as he does?

 

he was actually being nice and we were making small talk. i actually thought he was going to ask me to hang out or something. then he started in again on asking me about if im seeing anyone and if ive messed around with my ex boyfriend. then he admitted to having sex with his ex girlfriend and a 17 YEAR OLD friend of his sister's! she is still in high school and hes 8 years older than her!!! he said they did it like 10 times. then he started saying hurtful things to me like how having sex with me was so boring and he couldnt see himself having to put up with it for the rest of his life. and he actually laughed at me and said i was horrible on the top and he always thought it was funny. he said his ex and this 17 year old were amazing and hes glad he finally got rid of me because he forgot what it was like to have good sex. he said he couldnt stand it anymore and it got to the point where he just wanted to come as fast as possible and get it over with because it was so boring. he said he misses having sex for an hour and actually enjoying it. then he started in on how i started out to be a piece of azz and then he started to kind of like me so he kept me around. he said he was never ever attracted to me and that he was embarrassed to take me out in public or introduce me to his friends because i cake my makeup on and i look like hell. he said that he doesnt care about me at all, that he just plain out doesnt like me, not as a friend, definitely not as a girlfriend because i was a horrible one.

 

he said he never ever loved me. he said there was a short period of time when he thought he did and wanted to move out with me and thought maybe he would like to marry me but then he quickly realized he didnt. i really gave him a piece of my mind and let him know how i felt. i said a lot of really mean things to him and it seemed like a lot really bothered him. i hope i really made him hurt after the things he said to me!!! i said i never liked having sex with him and thats why i hardly ever wanted to do it. i told him hes a mean miserable person and hes never going to be happy and i was embarrassed to go anywhere with him because hes psycho. i told him that i just wanted to be with him towards the end because i felt bad for him. and he said "what do you mean you felt bad for me?" and i said "because i always knew there was something wrong with you and i felt bad for you and didnt want to make you feel worse." i could tell it really bothered him.

 

i know its immature to say hurtful things but he just hurt me so bad i wanted to make him feel half as bad as he made me feel!!! i cant believe that he really felt like that for 8 months...i thought maybe he was just trying to hurt me but i think he is being truthful about a lot of it. i had no idea he felt like that, i thought he was crazy about me. in the beginning i thought he was too good to be true. now i realize our relationship was all a big lie. i cant believe he really thinks all this about me, i thought he LOVED having sex with me. he was always trying to initiate it and getting so mad when i didnt want to. as soon as we would get home from somewhere he would like jump me, and he was always saying "i cant wait to get home so i can make love to you." i never knew he thought i was ugly and he was embarrassed to go anywhere with me! we used to go to dinner every night, we were around his friends a lot too. ive never hurt this bad in my life...just knowing that i was just a joke to him and he was laughing at me behind my back. i seriously just dont want to be alive anymore. there is no happiness in my life right now. i havent been with anyone since we broke up and he has slept with 2 girls...and he said they were so much better than me. i can just picture it and it kills me. he said last night when i was there his ex girlfriend was there and thats why he wanted to get back in the house and not stand outside and talk to me. he is sleeping everynight with the girl that he still loved when him and i were together and i am all alone. i dont want to do this anymore, i dont want to live such a miserable life. i dont want to hurt anymore. i have never been this depressed in my life. i cant even think straight, my heart hurts from being totally ripped apart. my self esteem is shattered.

 

It will not have a chance to mend properly if you continue contact with this guy.

 

why is he doing this to me, how can he be so cruel??? why does he just keep calling and calling and being nice for 5 seconds before he rips me apart again! he keeps saying i never want to talk to you again, i cant even stand you. but then he'll call me again with some excuse and he'll tear me apart and make me miserable. i have to remember him for the rest of my life. i dont want to remember having a relationship like this, i dont want to remember someone i cared about hurting me so deeply but the memory of him and all our memories is always going to be there and its always going to be a major regret of mine.

 

You have to stop with the 'Why's'. There is not why, simply what IS.

 

the worst part is that last night i told myself i would never contact him again but then he calls about my money and i think "oh ill just give him my address and that will be the end of it." but no, hes nice to me so i talk to him thinking maybe we can end this without totally hating each other but then he starts in on cutting me down and insulting me and laughing in my face.

 

Look missme. You picture is up and I can say I think you are very pretty. Probably very insecure and giving. You are a perfect target for this type of predator. He is going to continue to do this to you for as long as you allow it. Stop allowing it. You don't have to be 'right' just be gone. Your silence for many months will be more of an undoing for him then anything you could say or show. Trust me on that.

 

He seems to get off by playing with your emotions. It is a game for him and you are playing also. Get out of there.

 

Empower yourself to ignore any and all contact from him.

 

Now go circle your calendar for Thanksgiving. If you keep NC until then, you will feel better. If you faulter, well you will stay where you are now.

 

Your call.

[IpAncA]

The relationship is over.

 

Please stop helping the situation move along. Forget the money, change your number, and stop CALLING HIM BACK.

[huh]

Hey, good for you for returning the stuff. I know that was hard to do and you've taken a giant leap forward. Now take another leap forward. Block his work, home & cell phone no.s from your land line. If you can't do the same on your cell phone, change your cell no. You're a student, do you work part time? If there's a phone you use at work, ask if they can change that no. too. Screen your calls. That's why God invented caller ID & call blocking. Use the the technology to your advantage.

 

Give yourself a big hug. If you were near me, I'd take you out for manicures & margaritas to cheer you up. You're in school, that's a great opportunity to meet friends. What do you like to do? I was gung ho on being a journalist when I was that age. I joined the school paper. Even though I didn't become a reporter, I met great friends of both genders I had fun with & still keep in touch with in our advanced middle age. Go out there & have some fun. You sooo deserve it!

[vanessie]

OMG!! Please, I'm begging you... get away from him! I know this sounds harsh and uncompassionate, but I've been there and I stayed for 1yr and 6 months. I felt like everything my ex did i deserved, it took him beating me and a restraining order to leave. The way you describe him, he sounds just like your guy! He may be using his disorder as a crutch and is just saying and/or doing terrible things just to see you run around in circles for him, and then explain later that he was in one of his moods. He may even ( i.e. probably) enjoy driving you crazy just because he needs a lil entertainment at that moment. I don't know him, but what I do know is that you DO NOT deserve that!

[missmebaby]

having a very very bad night. first, the conversation my ex and I had earlier totally ruined my day and broke my heart. then a friend of mine that made plans with me to go out tonight decided to ditch me for her fiance...another friend of mine met me at the bar then decided to leave with her boyfriend after about 20 mins. my ex bf before this last ex called me and asked me to come out for his friend's birthday. i met him and his friends out at the bar last week too and we had a really great time. at the end of the night he was begging me to have sex with him but i wouldnt do it. but tonight he invited me out and pretty much ignored me the whole night. he barely said 2 words to me and was hanging on this other girl the whole night. it made me very jealous and upset. also i barely talked to anyone, i felt so awkward. all in all its been the worst day in a longgg time. i have to be up for work in less than 4 hours and i cant sleep. i dont want to sleep alone. i know my ex isnt sleeping alone tonight. i have no single friends so i feel like i will never be able to go out and have any fun or meet anybody new. tomorrow is a saturday night and i have no plans. school isnt going well at all, i am in danger of failing out of the nursing program. i have no support system because i havent talked to my parents in a week or so because they are mad at me for sulking around the house. i have no money because i can barely work because of school.

 

i am at an all time low. honestly i wouldnt mind it at all if i were dead right now. i have nothing to look forward to, my life right now is a mess. 2 weeks ago i had it all. a boyfriend that i thought would never leave me, my parents and i were getting along, i was still on summer vacation so i didnt have to worry about school, money was good. i just keep thinking about my ex and all the things he said to me. i dont know why i still miss him so much. i thought about him all night and wondered what he was doing. i thought i was getting better but talking to him today made things worse than ever. putting up with him was better than this. anything is better than how i feel right now. i want him to miss me, i want him to call me and say "im sorry i never meant any of those things i said, come over i miss you." but its never going to happen. hes happy out doing whatever he wants and picking up girls, and he is disgusted by me.

 

i just want to meet a good guy and settle down and never have to worry about this crap again. im tired of going out, im tired of dating, im tired of always trying to find plans. im so so so lonely, ive never felt like this. i know i am seriously depressed. i want to make an appointment with a counselor because right now i am willing to try anything to make myself feel better. i cant believe its over, i cant believe he feels absolutely nothing for me. i cant believe he really did leave me. we broke up other times but he always came back. now this time is different....i will never see him again or kiss him again or feel his big strong arms around me. i dont know why i cant stop having feelings for him, im trying so hard to get over him but everyday i miss him more.

[huh]

Make the appointment with the counselor. It helps to talk. Also, are your parents fully aware of what's going on? If not, talk to them about it and let them know what's been going on. Can they give you some financial help?

 

I know it's hard to do, but stop obsessing over the guys. Take that energy & put it into studying. It's not mandatory to go out every Saturday. Get a good movie, make a nice meal & relax. Get to bed early. You have no idea how a good night's sleep can make it all seem a lot better & put things in perspective.

[missmebaby]

i am so so tempted to call him. but i am going to get on here and vent instead. you have no idea how bad i want to call him and ask him if i can come over so we can "talk." i miss his voice, i miss seeing him. i just want to talk to him so bad. i want to ask him so many things. i want to ask him if hes happy and if he misses me. this breakup happened so fast i never saw it coming. one day he was begging me to take him back and things were great and the next day he didnt want me at all. i never got to even say goodbye.

 

i cant believe how fast he has moved on. he tells me he has forgotton about me already and there are no feelings left at all. after a week he said this! and he claims to have slept with his ex girlfriend and a 17 year old. we were together almost every single day, he used to call me 5-6 times a day, we did so many things together. he was attached to my family and we treated him better than his own family did. how can he just forget about all that within a week and be hooking up with other girls???

 

i just want to know how he REALLY feels. i want to know if hes just angry and saying mean things to make me feel bad because he thinks i am moving on and dating other people, or whether he really means it. i want to know if he ever thinks about me and misses me or if he is much happier now and has forgotton about me. i hate myself for being so addicted to him and i hate myself for being so desperate to have a boyfriend.

[uniqueone]

Are you making it a point to remember the bad things that he's done or said to you? If not, you should do that when you miss him. Then you can imagine him doing those same things with these other girls you think about him being with.

 

You keep mentioning his big, strong arms around you. That means you want a feeling of being protected. What do you feel that you need to be protected from? I haven't heard you describe those as "loving" arms either. Were they actually loving or were they just protective?

 

If you feel you need to be protected, then maybe you're feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you should cut back on your courseload a bit. That's better than failing, isn't it?

 

Do you do anything healthwise for your body such as taking walks or excercising? If not, you definately should. It'll help your stress level and it'll get you out of the house and it will give you more to do than just concentrating on dating. And you might meet people too.

[huh]

Do not call him. This is an ***hole who threw a drink at you in public has called you f**king b**ch and tries to hurt you every chance he gets (telling you he wasn't attracted to you). Remember those moments when you get tempted to call him. Ask yourself why are you willing to subject yourself to someone who will treat you like that? Anyone who does isn't worthy of you.

[underpants]

Why is it that so many nurses seem to attract and have relationships with really dysfunctional men?

 

Maybe it is the care giving and compassion that comes with the field that spills over into the personal lives?

 

Missme, you need to be more discerning of who you choose to care for in your personal life.

 

While you can patch people up at the hospital, you can't fix people's hearts.

 

This guy is no good for you. He likes to say and do things to hurt you.

 

Sounds like you need a dose of 'wake the heck up'.

 

Use this time to learn to like yourself and don't seek validation from others'.

[IpAncA]

i cant believe how fast he has moved on. he tells me he has forgotton about me already and there are no feelings left at all. after a week he said this! and he claims to have slept with his ex girlfriend and a 17 year old. we were together almost every single day, he used to call me 5-6 times a day, we did so many things together. he was attached to my family and we treated him better than his own family did. how can he just forget about all that within a week and be hooking up with other girls???

 

Of course he hasn't forgotten you. He's still in contact. If someone forgot you, they wouldn't be calling now would they?

 

i just want to know how he REALLY feels. i want to know if hes just angry and saying mean things to make me feel bad because he thinks i am moving on and dating other people, or whether he really means it. i want to know if he ever thinks about me and misses me or if he is much happier now and has forgotton about me. i hate myself for being so addicted to him and i hate myself for being so desperate to have a boyfriend.

 

He's going to tell you whatever he wants to tell you to get a reaction. He may have been lying to you all this time about things and you wouldn't even know it.

 

Whatever you do please don't call him or answer his calls.

[JCD]

You need to get some self respect and forget about him. He's immature and abusive. The marriage wouldn't have last if you married him. Worse, you would have kids and be stuck with them and most guys don't want to date mothers. You need to go NC and slowly day by day start to get over him. It's going to take maybe a year for you to heal but in the meantime don't date others and concentrate on yourself. Become a strong woman and you'll attract a good strong guy.

[missmebaby]

Ipanca....you said he could have been lying to me this whole time about things. what do you mean by that? like lying to me during our whole relationship about how he felt about me? or like lying to me after we broke up like about sleeping with other girls and that he thought sex with me was boring, etc?

 

i know he is no good for me, i know hes a jerk and that is probably something mentally wrong with him. but it really bothers me that i dont think he treated his exes like this. i mean he dated one for 5 years and another for 2 years. he is still friends with the first one and the second one cut him out of her life when she broke up with him and he got really depressed because he claims she was the best and most beautiful girl hes ever dated and they were going to get married. but now according to him she has come back and hes sleeping with her and he says they are "taking things slow." if he treated these other girls so bad why are they still friends with him and why did one of them supposedly come back to him? i feel like its my fault, like i wasnt good enough and thats why he treated me different. he even said he treated me different than he treated any of his exes. like what was wrong with me that he treated me like this and not them?? he was such a great guy in the beginning and he fell in love with me so quickly. i feel like i did something wrong to change things.

 

there are a lot of things hes said these past few days that i can almost prove he is lying about:

 

1. he says i was just a piece of a*s right from the beginning but then he started to like me after a little while so he kept me around.

-ok the first night i met him he was working as a bouncer at a bar. i talked to him first for about 5 seconds. then he came and found me later and got my number. after that i didnt talk to him the rest of the night, a couple times he caught my eye and smiled but thats it, he never tried to get me drunk or take me home or anything. he waited 2 days and called me and took me out to dinner and a movie. it wasnt until the 3rd date that he even kissed me. AND after that he was always inviting me to come places such as to his work or out to lunch where he knew he would not be getting any booty.

 

2. he told me his ex gf dumped her boyfriend and came back to him and they are sleeping together and taking things slow.

-ok then why did he call me so much last week, if they were back together she would be around and he wouldnt be calling me. saturday and sunday is the day him and i always hung out all day. but last saturday he called me late at night and then early on sunday morning. obviously she wasnt with him. also, he said he slept with a 17 year old "almost every day last week." ok hes getting back with his ex but he was with another girl all last week and sleeping with her? where was his ex during this? plus the way he just throws these things out there without me even asking him makes me suspicious.

 

3. the other night when i dropped his things off he later told me that his ex gf was at his house in his room all night and thats why he was in such a hurry to get back in there.

-ok then where was her car? there was no strange car in his driveway and im sure he isnt going to pick her up and take her home. he gets up very early for work, i know he isnt going to get up even earlier and go way out of his way to take her home. plus he didnt act like he was in a hurry to get back inside, he talked to me for like 15 mins in the driveway. he had on no shirt, old dirty greasy jeans, and he was dirty and smelly. i asked him why and he said because he was working out in the garage. yeaaaa, while his ex is there? i dont think so

 

4. he said hes forgotton me and there is absoulutely no feelings there anymore.

-then why was he constantly calling me? and why does he panic when i dont answer or call him back and he starts to call or text me every hour or so? then when i answer he makes small talk with me and asks me about other guys.

 

well i hope i start feeling better soon. i get reading other people's posts that say "its been 4 or 5 months, or its been almost a year and im still not over him." there is no way i can go on feeling like this for that long. the worst part is that no matter how busy i am or what i am doing, i think about him or are reminded of him. when i work out i remember the time he came to the gym with me and we worked out together, when i walk out of my house i see the brick patio that he built for my parents and i "helped" him and we used to sit out there for hours. i look at my bed and i can see him laying there sleeping, or i see a show on TV and remember how we used to watch it together. i go out at night to a bar or wherever and i can remember how i used to be on his arm all night and then we would come home and i would make him food and then we would have sex then cuddle up and go to sleep. i try to think of the bad things too but that doesnt help either because i feel like i deserved it somehow or that it was my fault, and i feel rejected that he didnt care about my feelings.

[Mary3]

Whenever I see your newest postings I utterly * cringe * inside reading them....

 

One more round of abusive treatment from this man that you have created an image of in your mind and you won't let that image go....He is NOT a good guy ! He is very abusive and a million other horrible things.

 

Why do you put up with it ? Because its your lifeline . Him saying " You are beautiful " Well of course that must mean you are ! Him saying " I hated you and your disgusting sex and everything about you " Well that must mean the truth too right ?

 

When you STOP seeking how lovely or worthless you are by some mentally disturbed troubled man and INSTEAD * know * that you are precious and beautiful because you know it inside and someone * else * deserves you and you STOP taking this sick calls and completely end this nightmare by going NC all the way. Blocking , changing numbers , WHATEVER it takes so you can come on here and get some love from us here at LOve Shack and get healed.

 

I want to hear you tell me how much you are DOING today September 2, to start the healing process. ( not answering any more calls, texts , emails .

 

We are here We care about you.

 

In an answer to your earlier questions . I don't believe he is seeing anyone . But whether there are 40 girls laying on his bed right now or NONE, it does not matter anymore ! If he were a normal guy I would say work this out but he is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off ! Messed up ! You CANNOT fix him !

 

It does not matter what he smells like , what he looks like, who he sees , who he does not see, where he is going , what his ex and him are doing , what you used to do with him ( because who in the world knows what the truth is about what you had ) But the only thing for SURE is to AVOID this guy starting TO~DAY !!!!

"

[huh]

Instead of obsessing over him, did you do anything for yourself last night? Watch a movie, make a nice dinner or talk to your parents about what's going on so they can offer their support?