after 8 months he finally tells me THIS?!?!?

[underpants]

i still dont see it. if i throw a rolled up sock at my girlfriend 'cause im mad, it doesnt automatically mean the next thing i throw will be a baseball or that i will even ever throw anything again.

 

how did he hit her? did he throw the pillow across the room? did he wind up and belt her across the face?

 

there are degrees and common sense. to suggest that anytime a woman is hit with anything (socks, balloons) its physical abuse is just silly. otherwise, all of humanity are physical abusers and we should all remain solitary

 

I don't really have a problem with a pillow fight or even a water hose fight in good fun.

 

Or even a bag of frozen peas handed to someone harshly in a heated discussion. Although that is ...not nice.

 

I don't get that vibe here though. Maybe it is just me. I actually had more problems with the drink being thrown on her in public.

 

This particuliar dynamic in this thread reads bad road to me.

[missmebaby]

he took both hands and swung and hit me across the face with it. i had a headache for an hour after that.

[underpants]

he took both hands and swung and hit me across the face with it. i had a headache for an hour after that.

 

Would you be happy in a marriage that makes you feel like you do right now?

 

I think you know what you need to do. I am so sorry you are in a bad situation. You have the power to leave it. It is okay to cut a toxic person out of your life for YOUR own well being.

 

Chin up sweetie.

[Jessica11111]

Ok, I am going to sound like the grouchy bitch here... but it has to be said.

You are addicted to this guy in a very co-dependant, unhealthy, sort of way.

I looked at your previous posts where you refer to your boyfriend as mentally and physically abusive, refer to a no contact order, refer to him as hot/cold and the guy from hell.... etc...

With the exception of your first three months, you have depicted this relationship as one that is NOT healthy. But, you still stay. And, you dont make any moves to change it. You appear to be thriving on the dramatics of this relationship. Darling, you have to work on your own problems before you can change his. Because there are probably some really unhealthy reasons why you are staying with him. You are better than this situation and you deserve to walk away. Good luck, you need it.

[uniqueone]

5. last night he says he was going out to the bar with his friends and he would call me late that night or early the next morning but he never called. when i asked him why he didnt call he got angry, says he needs space and hangs up on me. later he calls back and says its because his phone went dead.

 

Note: When people get defensive when you ask them a normal question, red flags are waving. Pay attention to them.

 

 

Reasons why i feel there is no one else hes talking to:

 

1. he is at work doing construction from 7am-5:30 pm monday-saturday and then comes home, goes to the gym and gets something to eat, then goes to bed. and other times i am with him also. i dont know where or when he would have met someone else

 

Could be online. Could be he's not working all that time he says he is. Could be he met her at a bar and she calls him or stops by his work.

 

2. i checked his phone about 4 days ago and there was nothing suspicious from other girls or anything

 

Good sign, but no guarantee.

 

3. his request for space could be validated because hes depressed and very stressed right now. also, he clearly said he does not want to date anyone else. i didnt even ask him that, he came out and said it himself. i have asked him a couple times since then if there is someone else hes interested in and he says absolutely not and that he would tell me if there was.

 

Oh how many of us have heard those famous last words....."I would tell you about it if there was...."

 

Note: They never actually tell you about it when there is.

 

4. he told me last week that he was just becoming scared of our relationship because if we stay together much longer hes going to ask me to marry him and that scares him so that could also be why he needs space

 

Sorry, but this one needs an Academy Award. Did he actually say this with a straight face? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?

 

5. just a few days ago after he told me about his depression he was saying i love you so much hun, etc.

 

I remember my ex painting the front door and telling me he loved me. Next day I found a condom in his pocket.

 

then just 2 days ago when i stayed over at his house he was saying he couldnt wait to get home and make love to me and he seemed more interested in sex and initiated it 3 times.

 

Sometimes when someone is cheating the sex actually picks up. Read up on signs of cheating.

 

 

6. he only came out and asked for space after i asked him if he still wants to be with me. he wasnt even going to say anything until i asked

 

No, actually he was too cowardly to tell you so he was going to show you. He was going to distance himself and you were noticing his behavior changing which is why you asked him that question to begin with. Since you brought it up, it gave him the perfect opportunity to ask for space.

 

i guess i just want to know the chances that he is seeing someone else because i want to be prepared for it. i dont want to be with him anymore and im going to break it off with him but that doesnt mean its going to be any easier knowing that he lied to me and was seeing someone else. so i need to know whether im imagining things or whether hes playing me right now

 

If it walks like a duck......

 

Here's my take on it which I've learned from experience.....trust your gut. If you're imagining things, then they're probably so. Time and time again, this has proven to be true for me and so I've started to trust my gut more.

[missmebaby]

my problem is that i take breakups very personally. like what did i do wrong that he doesnt like me anymore? whats wrong with me, am i not attractive anymore, am i not fun anymore, am i getting fat, am i annoying, did i push him away?? why didnt he act like this with his last girlfriend, she must have been better, more attractive, and he loved her more. it takes a huge hit out of my self esteem when someone breaks up with me.

 

then another thing that is so hard for me is that i dwell on the good memories. the best part of a relationship to me is the good memories you make together and when we break up i think about them so much and how we;'re never going to do those things together and i break down in tears.

[Capricciosa]

Get some help. For your self-esteem issues that will not get better, but only worse with this guy. Everyone takes break ups personally. And can you really say at this point the good memories outweigh the bad. Save yourself before trying to save someone else, which is usually not possible anyway.

[uniqueone]

my problem is that i take breakups very personally. like what did i do wrong that he doesnt like me anymore? whats wrong with me, am i not attractive anymore, am i not fun anymore, am i getting fat, am i annoying, did i push him away?? why didnt he act like this with his last girlfriend, she must have been better, more attractive, and he loved her more. it takes a huge hit out of my self esteem when someone breaks up with me.

 

then another thing that is so hard for me is that i dwell on the good memories. the best part of a relationship to me is the good memories you make together and when we break up i think about them so much and how we;'re never going to do those things together and i break down in tears.

 

Uh...you're not alone in that you know.

 

It's called low self-esteem and it's no fun to be a member of its club. But only you can work on your self esteem and it takes a lot of work, especially if you've had a screwy life.

 

As far as mulling over the good memories, write down the bad ones and when you start to think of the good, read the list. I've been trying to do this lately every time I start thinking about him. You have to make yourself stop when you start to reminisce and then replace that thought with those things he did that made you feel terrible. And since you're likely to forget them, write them down and keep them with you.

[underpants]

my problem is that i take breakups very personally. like what did i do wrong that he doesnt like me anymore? whats wrong with me, am i not attractive anymore, am i not fun anymore, am i getting fat, am i annoying, did i push him away?? why didnt he act like this with his last girlfriend, she must have been better, more attractive, and he loved her more. it takes a huge hit out of my self esteem when someone breaks up with me.

 

then another thing that is so hard for me is that i dwell on the good memories. the best part of a relationship to me is the good memories you make together and when we break up i think about them so much and how we;'re never going to do those things together and i break down in tears.

 

Yes, that is low self esteem and insecurity. Have you ever been on your own for a few months? This is a good thing believe it or not.

 

That first paragraph of yours really made me want to go back in time and have a talk with myself. He admitted to you that this is a pattern with him. You are too close to see his overall pattern in life. If you take space for yourself you will see it. So you feel bad if someone breaks up with you. Break up with him first. I had that mentality with a (scary) ex, just really because I feared the manipulation and guilt that would fall out from it. Well, that came anyway so I just wasted time trying to ...be there.

 

Second paragraph. Make a list. Do this for a few days with him out of your life. Your perception of actual events and things might change.

 

I would love for you to answer my very simple question.

 

Would you be happy in a marriage feeling the way you do now?

 

I am trying to give you strength girl. From someone who feel down a similar rabbit hole.

[maynard]

he took both hands and swung and hit me across the face with it. i had a headache for an hour after that.

ok, well that's a bit different

[dropdeadlegs]

missmebaby,

 

I have been on this site for several months and given lots of advice. I can honestly say that this is one of the best, most informative threads, without those who just bash and leave, that I can recall on this subject.

 

Nobody likes breakups. Many of us suffer from low self esteem and wonder how we "messed it up", even when we did nothing but love someone. I should say love someone more than we love ourselves.

 

It has taken years of therapy and growth for me to recognize that I allow myself to be treated badly. In all honesty, finding a man that DOESN'T treat me badly and respects me in the way I have always respected men, has been the biggest catalyst for change in my life. Until I was loved the way that I love, I didn't think I would ever find someone worthy of what I offer, or that I deserved someone worthy.

 

I can now state several things that I have learned.

1) Mutual respect is of the utmost importance.

2) Violence/hitting/throwing of anything, at anytime, is unacceptable.

3) Verbal abuse is as damaging as physical abuse.

4) If you suspect cheating of any kind, it's not your imagination.

5) Life is too short to waste time with those unworthy of your attention.

 

My list could go on and on.

 

In your last long post you are worried about possible cheating and also state that you know you have to break up. Those two lines of thinking don't go hand in hand. If you know you have to break up, it doesn't matter if he is cheating or on the verge of it. If anything, be happy that he might have someone else to concentrate his efforts on. Many mentally ill and/or abusive people get fixated on the one breaking up. If his concentration is elsewhere, the more better for you.

 

I hope you can find the strength to do what needs to be done. If he is "the one", months or years later, after he has gotten help for himself, fate will bring you back together (if that makes you feel better.) Until then, live your life, find a better partner. Help yourself to make better choices and heed red flags in future relationships

 

Best wishes to you, and much strength.

[whichwayisup]

1. he said he needs space- he hasnt called me since this morning and hasnt asked to see me at all

 

That's the depression/bipolar talking...

 

2. he has become less affectionate- he doesnt kiss me, hold my hand, touch me, or initiate sex as often

 

That's the depression/bipolar talking...

 

3. he doesnt call quite as much or ask me to come over as much

 

Again, depression/bipolar...

 

Bottomline - He is mentally ill and needs to be on meds, needs to seek counselling, have a Pdoc/therapist. This isn't ever going to go away - It's his life...The rollercoaster ride, dealing with the monster.

 

BE sure this is what you want. To stay with someone, especially since you two are not married, you have to be a real strong person to deal with the up's and down's...

 

-He cannot be who you want him to be. (Loving, considerate, giving boyfriend.)

-He cannot give you what you want. The depression won't let him.

 

He is a broken man, who knows if he can ever be whole and live a normal life.

[missmebaby]

well its officially over. he called me this morning and was being very nice to me. he asked if he could come over later and get his things. i said "yes...so you made up your mind?" and he said yes. i said "good, we are on the same page then. i was going to tell you i thought it was best we break up too." he said "oh yea? im sure you have someone else by now anyway." i said i didnt and he said "yea right i know you're talking to someone else." then i asked him if there really was someone else he was talking to and he said "well im not really talking to anyone or dating anyone and i would never cheat on you but there is someone im interested in." he then admitted that he met her at the gym and shes 6 years younger than him (19). he said he doesnt want a relationship right now and shes just going to be a fun fling. he said that the main reason he wants to break up is because he started to get scared of where our relationship was going. he said he isnt ready to get married yet but if we stayed together he was going to feel obligated to ask me to marry him. he said i am going to be a great wife and mother but thats not what he wants right now. he then said that he would love to come back to me in a year or two when hes ready and work things out. he said he knows hes going to regret breaking up with me but he just isnt ready for something so serious right now, he wants to have fun more and be single before he settles down.

 

then he asked me why i wanted to break up and i told him because he wasnt the kind of guy im looking for and i didnt have feelings for him anymore. then i asked him why he lied to me and said i love you a few days ago and why he said he wanted space instead of just ending it. he said it was because he knows im the kind of girl he should be with and he wanted to be absolutely sure that he was ready to give me up. throughout the conversation he kept saying things like how he knows ill probly find someone else soon anyways and when hes ready to come back im not even going to be single. and he kept asking me if im talking to someone else. he said when he gets out of this funk hes in and is ready to get married im the kind of girl he wants to be with. he also kept stressing that he doesnt want a relationship with this new girl. he said "we are breaking up and we are having a good conversation so i hope we can be friends and be decent to each other." we talked for the whole half hour he was driving to work. when we hung up i told him to just call me when hes going to come get his things. he then apologized for how he treated me and said it was wrong. i handled the conversation very well, i didnt cry at all and i was firm in telling him i wanted to end it too. after we got off the phone i just broke down in tears. i couldnt believe that its really over, just like that hes out of my life.

 

then 20 mins later he calls me back. i answer and he said "hey are ya still sleeping??" in a teasing voice. i told him no ive been up for a little while, then i said um whats up? and he told me not to forget that movie he let my brother borrow. i said ok ill go get it now. he said "no no you dont have to do it now, just whenever. i just thought maybe you started getting my stuff together." i said "no not yet i need to start on it." and he was like "no dont worry about it, no hurry." then there was an awkward silence so i said "ok is that all you wanted?" and he said "yea just wanted to remind you about that movie." i said ok just call me whenever you're coming to get that stuff, bye. i thought it was kind of weird that he called me again just to remind me about a movie when he could of just said something about it when he gets here. i think he still has feelings for me and i have a feeling hes going to regret breaking up with me like he said hes going to and im going to be hearing from him sometime. i could be wrong though and hes just being nice

 

i just need to be strong and go on without him. its just so hard with all the memories we had and knowing hes not going to be a part of my life anymore when he was for 8 months. i used to talk to him 5-6 times a day on the phone, tell him everything that was going on, and i saw him almost everyday. we always spent all day sunday together just being lazy. and we had so many plans and things we wanted to do together in the future. its going to be weird now that hes just.....gone

[uniqueone]

I'm so sorry, Missmebaby......but it's good you handled it so well. I can't say that I've been that great at it myself.

 

His calling back was that part of him wants to keep you and part of him wants to date others. He doesn't want to lose you completely, he just doesn't want to commit either.

What's all this about marrying anyway? Maybe this is because you're at that age when people are all marrying that you assume that if you're dating for X amount of time, it's a given that marriage must happen.

 

I have to admit I'm so glad I'm not dealing with guys that age anymore. Not that guys my age are winners but in your age group a lot of them want to play around. Then again, in my age group, if they just got a divorce, they usually want to just play around too.

 

So do you ever take a break from dating?

[missmebaby]

ughhh i just wanted this to end decently for once. he called me again an hour later and said he was coming to get his things. i said "you cant come now my friend is going to be here in a couple minutes, we're going to the gym." he said "no! im going to be there in 20 mins im already on my way!" and i said "im really sorry but you said you were coming if work got rained out and it didnt rain and you usually dont get off work for another 4 hours so i made other plans right now. and i dont have your stuff together yet." he got really mad and argued with me about it and said he wanted to come now. i said "im sorry but i had no idea you were coming this early. i will bring it to you later or something." so he kept yelling at me saying no hes on his way now. i said "just let me know another time when you can come get it or want me to bring it to you." and he said "no forget it i dont feel like it now. you're such a fckin b*tch!!" and he hung up on me.

 

i really thought things were going to end decently for us. he was being so calm and nice to me earlier and now this. i cant figure out why hes being like this. one minute hes sorry for treating me badly and the next hes furious because i wasnt going to be home to give him his things. i cant imagine what is going on in his head

[BlueEyedSarah]

Pack he's things, and leave them outside your door, tell him if he wants them they are outside your house, after that go in nc with him, don't call him, don't answer any calls from him. Calling you names like that is totally out of order. you made plans because HE didn't give you the information. Sounds like he wants things he's way and if it doesnt happen he's way then he will turn into a big baby about it. Hope the 19 year old girl will realise the abuse she will receive if they both get together.

[jcster]

Pack he's things, and leave them outside your door, tell him if he wants them they are outside your house, after that go in nc with him, don't call him, don't answer any calls from him.

 

Absolutely! This is what you should do. Please don't get involved in any face to face conversations with this guy right now. The most dangerous time for anyone involved in an abusive relationship is when they break it off with the abuser. Put his things outside. Do NOT let him in the house with you...or...if you have no choice - be sure SOMEONE ELSE is there with you. He's very unstable right now, don't take any chances.

[Jessica11111]

I just have to say: Good for you for standing up to him. Now, just stay strong and keep repeating to yourself that you are better than this situation, and you deserve more. You are worth getting out. So, pack his junk up, and kick him to the curb! Figuratively, of course.

[uniqueone]

He wanted to still have control over you. When he realized he didn't, he got angry. You were no longer being his puppet. Good for you!

[underpants]

I agree with the others.

 

Find every little thing that is his. Pack it all up. Don't forget anything. Put in all in a box.

 

If you are sure he is at work, maybe you could deliver his things to his house and leave them on the porch or beside the back door.

 

Text him that his belongings are on the porch to retrieve. Or that all of his things are waiting for him at his house.

 

Then go out of town for a few days. Or stay at a friend's house for a few days. Don't contact or answer his calls for a while.

 

Start making a list. A list of things he did that hurt you or unsavory attributes/character flaws he has.

 

So far I see...

Violent pillow slap.

Throwing of a phone.

Intentional spilling a drink on you and in public.

The f btch statement when you did not yield to his request.

 

This kind of list helped me when I got post break up contact from my scary ex. These reminders of the bad side are helpful when they start trying to get back in touch.

 

It will hurt for a time as you mourn the loss of what could never be, and really never was.

 

Eventually you will (I hope) want someone better deserving of you character wise. The sooner you break free from him the sooner a good guy can win your heart.

 

Get tough and be strong.

[maynard]

stay strong

[CancerianQueen]

i have posted on here many times about my boyfriend's horrible mood swings and how one minute he will be so wonderful and loving and talk about us getting married and how hes so lucky to have found me, and then a few days later it seems like he hates me and hes so short tempered and yells at me for the stupidest little things. the 8 months we've been together have been an up and down roller coaster of frustration and emotions. ive always thought maybe he had some kind of mental illness because he is always so angry with everyone, seems like he hates the world, and hes been in over a hundred fights, as well as the mood swings he goes through.

 

about a month ago he got into a bad car accident that was his fault and he totaled his very nice expensive truck as well as injuring himself pretty badly and taking a huge chunk out of his left arm. hes had surgeries on it but it will never look the same and there is always going to be a huge ugly scar. before his accident things between us were better than ever and we were looking at duplexes to move out and talking about getting engaged. well ever since his accident he has been meaner and moodier than ever. things have been very rough between us this past month. he hasnt wanted to see me as much and we dont talk as much. he starts fights with me over nothing. well over the weekend we were out with friends and i said something he didnt like and he threw his drink all over me and called me a fckin b*tch. i couldnt believe it, i just broke down and cried and insisted we all go home.

 

well once back at his friend's house we got into this huge fight, it was so bad his friend thought the cops were going to show up. i was laying on the couch trying to go to sleep but he kept initiating the fight. he smacked me across the face with a pillow, then grabbed my phone and started going through it asking me who i was texting and he kept saying "have fun with your ex boyfriend tomorrow, i know you're going to go running back to him, arent you? arent you???" i just ignored him so he was saying things like "since hes so much better in bed than me, i know you're going to call him as soon as you can." then when i continued to ignore him he threw my phone across the room. something in me snapped and i started saying all kinds of mean things to him like "what is wrong with you? why are you such a mean person? you are a miserable person to be around, i suggest you go see a doctor because there is soemthing seriously wrong with you." then he said he couldnt wait till i took him home tomorrow so he could never see or talk to me again. then he got real quiet for awhile.

 

just as i was about to fall asleep i hear him say "hey." he sounded different, like sad or something so i nicely said what? he then proceeded to start crying and to tell me that he has had clinical depression since he was very young. he said he hates the world and everyone in it. he said he gets in these moods where he just wants to sleep all day and whoever tries to wake him up he yells and screams at them to go away. he says during this time he doesnt really want to see anyone. the biggest shocker of all came when he told me he tried to kill himself twice. once when he was 13 he tried to shoot himself but the gun wouldnt go off, then when he was 19 he took a whole bunch of pills but his friend found him passed out on the floor and he was taken to the hospital in time to survive. he said he feels like theres no reason for him to live. he said he feels like his life is a living hell and he doesnt understand why hes here.

 

he reached out and grabbed my hand and held it while he was talking to me. he said this is the most embarrassing thing hes ever done to tell me this. he said hes never told this to anyone, none of his past gfs or friends know. only his parents know. he said he wanted me to know why hes such an as*hole. he then said that its probably best that i stay away from him. i said i will never stay away from him, im always going to be there for him. he said just stay away so i dont have to put you through this. but i told him i didnt want anything to happen to him and he cant make me stay away because i care about him too much. i told him he needs to see a doctor but he says hes never been on meds and he was in a psychiatric ward for 3 days but it didnt help at all and no doctor could ever help him. the next morning i feel him reach out and take my hand and kiss it. then he comes over and lays down on the couch with me and kisses my forehead and hugs me and says "im so sorry baby. thank you so much for taking care of me when i got in my accident. i never thanked you but i appreciated it so much. i love you." later that day after he had gone home i got a text message that said "im sorry hun i love you." i thought everything was going to be fine from then on.

 

but i spent the night with him last night and once again he seems different so i asked him if he wanted to be with me and he says "i dont know." then he kisses me on the forehead and rolls over to face the wall. 30 seconds later he says "you're such a great person and you're so good to me. but im under so much stress right now and i dont want to take it out on you. i really dont want to lose you and i dont want to break up but i kind of need to just do my own thing right now and figure things out. i just need some space. i absolutely do not want to date other people. i still want to talk to you and hang out with you but just not as much. we're still together but i just need some space right now." i kissed the back of his neck and told him i would give him all the space he needs and i understood. i wasnt too worried because i knew that people suffering from depression usually wanted their space and pushed their significant other away for awhile. well the next morning he seems to be in a much better mood and hes kissing me and tickling me and paying all kinds of attention to me. it really confused me because he said he wanted space because hes under so much stress and hes going through one of his depressive episodes but suddenly hes in a good mood??? and i know hes going out with some friends tonight for his friend's birthday.

 

i just dont understand what he really wants. i cant tell if hes pushing me away because of his depression or because he doesnt want to be with me. he told me about a week ago that he was just really scared because he knows if we stay together much longer hes going to ask me to marry him and that scares him to death. so it could also be that reason that hes pushing me away.

 

i dont know what to do. i know i should be there for him but should i also become less available, like not answer the phone everytime he calls, not spend time with him whenever he asks and go out with my friends more and do my own thing? or is this just going to make him mad and push him away more? also, what is the real reason he needs his "space"? is it because hes depressed and hes going through alot right now or is he just not that into me anymore?

 

Run away from this guy!!! You do not need to be there for him and he has no right to be treating you like that. Even if he is mentally ill there is no way you can change him. He has to want to get help himself. In my opinion you are there for him to treat like crap and telling you he needed space was the best thing he's ever done for you.

[CancerianQueen]

I'd like to also point out that there is something really wrong with this guy. I have my share of mental problems and practically everyone I know has their own mental illnesses. People with mental illnesses are not necessarily dangerous. His being depressed is not an excuse for his dangerous behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if he was addicted to something. I dated a guy who was addicted to something for about a week and he sounds very similar to that. Do not feel bad or upset. GET ANGRY. Think of all the crap he has put you through and how he just expects you to be there and take it and then he wants to take a break? If anyone wants to take a break it should be you. Think of how horrible he made you feel and make yourself really mad. This will make you not want to put up with him, and please get some mace or some other kind of protection.

[missmebaby]

he finally told me the real reason he doesnt want to be with me....hes not attracted to me!! he said he never was attracted to me but stuck with me for 8 months because he liked me/loved me. he always called me beautiful and cutie and sexy during the first 3-4 months we were together. hes always wanted to have sex 3-4 times a day and he always says "you're so sexy" while we're doing it. so i think its crappy that he finally told me that hes just not attracted to me.

 

hes dated like movie star good looking girls in the past that were like 5'3, 110lbs, rich, and beautiful. he says those are the kind of girls he usually goes for and i just dont add up. hmm im glad he waited 8 months to tell me this!!!

 

well yesterday morning he called me and said he still wasnt sure what he wanted and maybe we could just "date" and see how things go. then he asked me what i was doing this weekend and i said i had plans both nights. well he flips out on me and says "i thought we were going to hang out friday night!" and i said "since when?? we never made plans for friday." and he said "well we always hang out on friday!! forget it, im done with you, i never want to talk to you or see you again, just go back to your ex boyfriend!" and i said "ok well hes been calling me the last couple days so maybe i will." and i hung up on him. he immediately called me back and started asking me a million questions about me talking to him and what did we talk about and was i going to hang out with him, etc. then his boss said something to him and he had to go. an hour later he called me and i didnt answer, so he called me 6 more times that hour. i called him back on my way to work and he was asking me a million questions again about whether i was going back to my ex boyfriend or not and he was saying he still doesnt know what he wants. and i said i thought u were done with me and never going to talk to me again. and he said "no i still dont know what i want."

 

i finally got off the phone with him and he continued to call me throughout the night. i finally answered one of his calls when i got off work and he kept quizzing me about my ex boyfriend asking me how many times i talked to him that night, etc. he was asking me if i was talking to someone else, or interested in someone else. everytime i tried to get off the phone with him he would try to get me to keep talking or he would call me back a few mins later. then he called me again this morning with a million questions about what ive been doing, who ive been talking to, etc. i told him "you dont want to be with me so it doesnt matter, now quit asking me." but he seems like hes panicked about me being with someone else and its all he thinks about.

 

my mom says he is very mentally unstable and she even liked him alot when we were together. i found somethings online about borderline personality disorder and it was him EXACTLY!! i wish he would just leave me alone but i cant figure out why he keeps calling me so much and worrying about me and what im doing and who im talking to. i asked him why he keeps calling me and he said "boredom, im bored so i call you." yea righttttttt. he has no idea what he wants does he???

[uniqueone]

he finally told me the real reason he doesnt want to be with me....hes not attracted to me!! he said he never was attracted to me but stuck with me for 8 months because he liked me/loved me. he always called me beautiful and cutie and sexy during the first 3-4 months we were together. hes always wanted to have sex 3-4 times a day and he always says "you're so sexy" while we're doing it. so i think its crappy that he finally told me that hes just not attracted to me.

 

hes dated like movie star good looking girls in the past that were like 5'3, 110lbs, rich, and beautiful. he says those are the kind of girls he usually goes for and i just dont add up. hmm im glad he waited 8 months to tell me this!!!

 

well yesterday morning he called me and said he still wasnt sure what he wanted and maybe we could just "date" and see how things go. then he asked me what i was doing this weekend and i said i had plans both nights. well he flips out on me and says "i thought we were going to hang out friday night!" and i said "since when?? we never made plans for friday." and he said "well we always hang out on friday!! forget it, im done with you, i never want to talk to you or see you again, just go back to your ex boyfriend!" and i said "ok well hes been calling me the last couple days so maybe i will." and i hung up on him. he immediately called me back and started asking me a million questions about me talking to him and what did we talk about and was i going to hang out with him, etc. then his boss said something to him and he had to go. an hour later he called me and i didnt answer, so he called me 6 more times that hour. i called him back on my way to work and he was asking me a million questions again about whether i was going back to my ex boyfriend or not and he was saying he still doesnt know what he wants. and i said i thought u were done with me and never going to talk to me again. and he said "no i still dont know what i want."

 

i finally got off the phone with him and he continued to call me throughout the night. i finally answered one of his calls when i got off work and he kept quizzing me about my ex boyfriend asking me how many times i talked to him that night, etc. he was asking me if i was talking to someone else, or interested in someone else. everytime i tried to get off the phone with him he would try to get me to keep talking or he would call me back a few mins later. then he called me again this morning with a million questions about what ive been doing, who ive been talking to, etc. i told him "you dont want to be with me so it doesnt matter, now quit asking me." but he seems like hes panicked about me being with someone else and its all he thinks about.

 

my mom says he is very mentally unstable and she even liked him alot when we were together. i found somethings online about borderline personality disorder and it was him EXACTLY!! i wish he would just leave me alone but i cant figure out why he keeps calling me so much and worrying about me and what im doing and who im talking to. i asked him why he keeps calling me and he said "boredom, im bored so i call you." yea righttttttt. he has no idea what he wants does he???

 

 

Is there some reason you're taking his calls? You're feeding this thing...why?