Having your cake and eating it too, Just a thought

[shakenandstirred]

[FONT=Times New Roman].

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Some women (and men) have the “cake and eat it too” view of life. They want their significant other plus others. Some feel no guilt in what they are doing because they feel they deserve to have all their wants and needs fulfilled. This, although it is attainable in fantasyland, does not always exist in the real world. Whether you are a man or a woman, having an affair will only cause brokenness and pain. The kids, if any are involved, will wind up hating the betrayer. Most men can deal with being a heel or a jerk. For the most part we are considered to be such to females in general. A woman does not take too kindly to be deemed less than a woman or someone who has caused harm. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]I was reading a particular forum geared toward women in faithlessness situations. Some seem to take pride in the fact they were married and had another man on the side. The woman’s unsuspecting husband or boyfriend had no clue of their adulterous behavior. I was amazed at how, when they received slamming from males on the site, became very defensive and angry at the snide comments. Although I agree that the males could have been more mature in their responses, you cannot expect someone to respond positively to you somewhat bragging about your wayward ways. The women wanted responses from other women who were in similar situations and who would kind of look past the ugliness of their infidelity and nourish the fact that she was getting what she wasn’t getting in her relationship with her husband or boyfriend. One woman was even upset that she found out that her husband was having an affair with her best friend, while she was having an affair herself. It seems as if hers was allowable and his wasn’t. Neither was. She then stated that the only happiness she could find in that situation was thinking about the other man. Wow. I guess sometimes dads spoil their little girls and she feels she should get and have everything she wants. I sometimes think this spills over into their relationships with other men. Although this may not happen in all situations, it probably happens in a great majority of them. Having a “cake and eat it too” view will only make you and your relationship sick for having too much of what is bad for you. This goes for men and women. Saying those two words “I’m sorry” is not going to take away the lifetime memory of what was done. The relationship will never be the same after that. Love is not disrespectful or humiliating, but cheating is. If someone chooses to disrespect you and humiliate you this way, they need their definition of love checked[/FONT][/FONT]

[jj2007]

I agree 100%.

 

Cheaters are selfish and lack self control.

[directx]

No wonder I have been losing weight.

 

I never get to eat the cake.

In fact, I hardly ever get any to begin with...

[shakenandstirred]

Thanx for your responses jj2007 and directx.

 

Directx you have me . But I admire your loyalty and integrity. But go on and have some real cake and not that of the infidelity kind

[OpenBook]

Some women (and men) have the “cake and eat it too” view of life. They want their significant other plus others...

 

The woman’s unsuspecting husband or boyfriend had no clue of their adulterous behavior. I was amazed at how, when they received slamming from males on the site, became very defensive and angry at the snide comments.

 

IMO, men (for the most part) find it impossible to get over being cuckolded, whereas women are more apt to see the big picture, and more willing to work it out. I have no idea which approach is the wiser.

[NoIDidn't]

I know, or think I do, of the forum for women cheaters that you are speaking of. I was amazed at how strongly the men on those forums reacted, but I couldn't defend the women's actions.

 

They WERE bragging about it. And disparaging the man in their lives.

 

I think that female cheaters get too much of a pass. Like its more understandable that they cheat. Of course, it will be shot back at me that attitudes like mine let the men off the hook. But that wouldn't be true.

 

The problem is both sexes generally don't want to be held to the bar for their behaviors. That and women are just as bad as men in the cheating department. We are just better liars. More convincing than men.

 

I find male and female cheating distasteful. Whether the players are in legally bound relationships or not. Cheating shows a serious character flaw: cowardice.

 

Of course people balk at being called on it.

[Cobra_X30]

I know, or think I do, of the forum for women cheaters that you are speaking of. I was amazed at how strongly the men on those forums reacted, but I couldn't defend the women's actions.

 

They WERE bragging about it. And disparaging the man in their lives.

 

I think that female cheaters get too much of a pass. Like its more understandable that they cheat. Of course, it will be shot back at me that attitudes like mine let the men off the hook. But that wouldn't be true.

 

The problem is both sexes generally don't want to be held to the bar for their behaviors. That and women are just as bad as men in the cheating department. We are just better liars. More convincing than men.

 

I find male and female cheating distasteful. Whether the players are in legally bound relationships or not. Cheating shows a serious character flaw: cowardice.

 

Of course people balk at being called on it.

 

What forum is this?

[NoIDidn't]

What forum is this?

 

Its based on this woman's book about women and infidelity. I can't think of the exact name right now, but I will PM it to you when I do.

 

If you Google the truth about women's infidelity you may find it. But be forewarned, its not pretty. It really displays the uglier side of the fairer sex.

[Cobra_X30]

Found it... thanks! Inconcievable!

[Woggle]

I read that board sometimes and I am sure everybody on LS can tell when I have been reading it. It really makes me hate women to the point where I have sympathy for somebody like OJ Simpson. I can't even look at my wife after reading some of that stuff.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I've seen the women's infidelity site. The Philanderers Forum is even worse.

[shakenandstirred]

Yes, It was the women's infidelity site that inspired me to write this thread. I thought men were bad and most of the time deserved the title pig or dog. But those women were like prehistoric rabid pitbulls . In my younger days I was so naive to believe that women were these little angels and could do no wrong. Did I ever get a reality check as I grew older and experienced. I know that there ARE good women out there. You just have to be able to tell from the ones who are genuine and the ones who are pretending.

 

NoIDidn't;

Men lie..A LOT. I do agree that women are more convincing at it though. We do not take the time to think out our lies and we always wind up with some corny transparent nonsense. I think women get away with it more because men do not want to think of their women as some under handed trollop, when she may be. And women can think very quickly on their feet.

But I can't help it. I Just love women too death. That forum (women's infidelity) is an eye opener though and I would recommend that if men visit the site just be prepared to be surprised. And remember all women are not as those you see on that site.

[shakenandstirred]

IMO, men (for the most part) find it impossible to get over being cuckolded, whereas women are more apt to see the big picture, and more willing to work it out. I have no idea which approach is the wiser.

 

Men tend to be less interested in the emotional aspect of their woman cheating than in the physical. Even though they are devastated that she had an emotional connection with another man, they are more forgiving if it's just emotional and not physical. However when a woman becomes emotionally involved with another man, the physical aspect will come into play quickly. A woman gets more devastation finding out that her man was emotionally involved with another woman, because she wants all his emotions shared with only her. The physical only compounds the emotional aspect to a woman. Men also view there women as the mental support to the family. The one who can make the best sound decisions. Finding out that she betrayed this is a tremendous killer to a man. Men see things step by step and women always see the big picture. I am writing a book that explains this.

[directx]

Thanx for your responses jj2007 and directx.

 

Directx you have me . But I admire your loyalty and integrity. But go on and have some real cake and not that of the infidelity kind

 

Don't worry. I don't think thats ever going to happen.

[crjames100]

It's simple: Men Enjoy Looking At Beautiful Women.

[Woggle]

I think that board should be required reading for every man after he gets engaged.

[OpenBook]

I think that board should be required reading for every man after he gets engaged.

 

For what purpose? so they'll break off the engagement?

 

But I do agree that getting married is a HUGE leap of faith, against all odds. In order to pull it off, you just have to close your eyes and jump.

[Woggle]

For what purpose? so they'll break off the engagement?

 

But I do agree that getting married is a HUGE leap of faith, against all odds. In order to pull it off, you just have to close your eyes and jump.

 

So they can have their eyes open about the true nature of many women.

[Cobra_X30]

I wouldnt sweat it Wog. I read the forum a bit, girls like that get chewed up and spit out. It's so funny to hear them think that they are in control by running games on thier husband... while the whole time she is getting emotionally raped by some other dude.

 

I'm a guy and I can smell insecurity and weakness on a woman. Perhaps I am more perceptive than most, but I can tell you the girls that are weak to this from the ones that are not.

[Woggle]

I wouldnt sweat it Wog. I read the forum a bit, girls like that get chewed up and spit out. It's so funny to hear them think that they are in control by running games on thier husband... while the whole time she is getting emotionally raped by some other dude.

 

I'm a guy and I can smell insecurity and weakness on a woman. Perhaps I am more perceptive than most, but I can tell you the girls that are weak to this from the ones that are not.

 

Any real man would not touch these women with a ten foot pole but many good but naive are chewed up and spit out by them. Look at the men on that forum and you will see how much damage these women can do.

[Grim]

while the whole time she is getting emotionally raped by some other dude.

 

I'm a guy and I can smell insecurity and weakness on a woman. Perhaps I am more perceptive than most, but I can tell you the girls that are weak to this from the ones that are not.

 

believe this guy he knows a lot.

[NoIDidn't]

I wouldnt sweat it Wog. I read the forum a bit, girls like that get chewed up and spit out. It's so funny to hear them think that they are in control by running games on thier husband... while the whole time she is getting emotionally raped by some other dude.

 

I'm a guy and I can smell insecurity and weakness on a woman. Perhaps I am more perceptive than most, but I can tell you the girls that are weak to this from the ones that are not.

 

 

I sooooo agree with you on this Cobra. The women posting on that forum are very easy to spot. Too easy in fact.

 

Wog, you don't have to suspect every woman to find one of the types on that board. You will know her when you see her.

 

I won't go so far as to call those women tramps, but.....there is a cheating woman handbook too and these women know it play by play. And the biggest play is that of the extra THICK compliments about how great their intended victim is and how THEY know how to appreciate such a man.

 

If a compliment feels cheap, it usually is. Insecurity just drips out of empty compliments that are meant to endear the person giving them.

[Woggle]

Logically I know every woman is not like that but nothing brings out the misogynist in me like that board. I start sympathizing with men that kill women and I start thinking that the Taliban had the right idea. Of course when I calm down I realize how stupid that is.