Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 Sorry. I am not going to label people or feel superior to people that have been divorced. People are people. Nothing less. When did I label someone inferior? Who is jumping to a conclusion. If a person is divorced I want to know why. If you go into it saying "who cares?" and "people are people" you are just ingorant because you lie to yourself. Now quit putting words into my mouth and post with relevance!
Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 Ummm... Yeah. I was joking/teasing. You are dead serious, and there is a big difference there. Do you know what I mean? It's cool. I am just fending off attacks from "inferior" minds. It's obvious to me you are not one of them.
sunshinegirl Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Oh, and to give you another window into what women consider a "catch", here are some of the things my boyfriend is/does that make him a catch in my book: -he's incredibly intelligent and ambitious -he has his own hobbies and interests - an independent life -he listens to me -he cooks for me -he's physically affectionate -he teaches me things, but never ever makes me feel silly or stupid in the process -he shows an interest in my work, family, and friends -he assumes the best in me, gives me the benefit of the doubt, and otherwise takes my side -he is a loving, present father to his 6-year old daughter -he nurtures a cooperative parenting relationship with his ex, despite the fact that he has every reason not to (she cheated on him)
directx Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I loved your post, directx. Coming from you, that means much. Thank you. Peace_Pipe, seriously: You will have better luck with women and finding the one you want by just talking to them and getting to know them. If you are going to judge them, keep it to yourself and decide later. Nobody is asking you to marry these girls when you meet them. You dont have to be exclusive with just one, so get many in your rotation at once. Its really interesting getting to women, of all types. Keep an open mind and learn something. People aren't losers. They are just different than yourself. Money and objects aren't everything. I could by two corvettes right now if I wanted. Doesn't take skill. Just have to make the payments. Instead, I have a 12 year old car because I manage my money different. Thats all. (I think cars are a waste of money, personally) And no girl I want to spend time with gave a crap.
Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 And look how ignorant you statement is above. A wife has divorces and the Husband dies? Do people divorce corpses now? Exactly. People also cheat, steal, lie, do drugs.... Normally, I don't care... but I am talking about seeking a life partner here. You claim to uphold yourself to this standard of "everyone is equal" which is in itself a great concept. It is not practical however, because if it were true you would be dating the homeless woman on the street just the same as the person from church. I just think you are lying to yourself. My "humble" opinion.
Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 (I think cars are a waste of money, personally) And no girl I want to spend time with gave a crap. I agree. I was talking about people who don't have cars at all. Once again, taken out of context.
AriaIncognito Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 From a woman's perspective, what makes a man a "catch"? A history of the cause of my question: I consider myself a "catch" and while some women may agree, many, many do not. I see so many women with guys that have no career, no car, alcoholism, abondoned children, etc. They don't seem to care much as long as the guy is "attractive". My situation - I am 30, in good physical shape, have a career, my own place and 2 cars. Not only that I work hard and am very motivated. I condsider myself to be slightly better than average looking. Now I know material thing does not make the person; but where does character come into play here? I have posted similar items here before and the general response I get is that these things don't mean anything. I understand they ar enot everything, but I feel they are a huge part of who a person is. I respect someone that has a good career and has made effort to not be divorced or have children outside of marriage. Do these things not speak volumes about someone's character? It takes a lot of character to build yourself a career and to not have children outside of marriage, for example. I feel these are good traits that will carry over into oter areas of life. So when did women start overlooking these things? While a career and a nice dwelling may not be everything, it's a hell of a good start. To me, it also shows strong character. I am so frustrated of getting passed up for total losers. Women also seem to love jailbirds... UGGH Help me break the evil cycle? Or am I just I the oddball in a world of immorality? For once it would be so nice to meet a woman with something to offer me other than drama. I feel exactly the same way as you. I'm 33, have a career, a home, 2 cars, great friends, have been told i'm decent looking, etc but I'm not finding any quality men. My last ex I thought he was but he was just playing games. He had the career and good financial skills but he couldn't commit to me to save his life. I dont know where all the "together" people are hiding. I'd like to know too.
directx Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 When did I label someone inferior? Who is jumping to a conclusion. If a person is divorced I want to know why. If you go into it saying "who cares?" and "people are people" you are just ingorant because you lie to yourself. Now quit putting words into my mouth and post with relevance! When did you label someone as inferior? What about this " I am so frustrated of getting passed up for total losers." And look at your posts insulting Arizona100. You cannot see this? And since when do you care about WHY a person is divorced. You said earlier: "Absolutely. It shows lack of judgement, poor decision making, unability to resolve conflicts, fear of being alone and possibly much more." Yeah, sounds like you really want to know why and there is much chance of you 'caring' about why. So, no conclusions jumped. Just using what you said. Anyone here disagree? (besides Peace_Pipe)
directx Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Exactly. People also cheat, steal, lie, do drugs.... Normally, I don't care... but I am talking about seeking a life partner here. You claim to uphold yourself to this standard of "everyone is equal" which is in itself a great concept. It is not practical however, because if it were true you would be dating the homeless woman on the street just the same as the person from church. I just think you are lying to yourself. My "humble" opinion. Sometimes the homeless woman makes more sense than the woman at church. And the homeless woman REALLY knows how to stretch a dollar!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 peace pipe, I wasnt going to point this out, but the whole argument is pointless. You obviously havnt been married... and you have yet to put together a successfull relationship. So why bash on divorcees? At this point you havnt gone there, you have yet to take that risk. What can you seriously have to say about it? Look, get a girl to take that stroll down the isle, then tell me about how divorced poeple suck.
directx Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I agree. I was talking about people who don't have cars at all. Once again, taken out of context. Why did you make it a point to say you owned TWO CARS? What was the relevance in that statement? What were you trying to say there?
Cobra_X30 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I feel exactly the same way as you. I'm 33, have a career, a home, 2 cars, great friends, have been told i'm decent looking, etc but I'm not finding any quality men. My last ex I thought he was but he was just playing games. He had the career and good financial skills but he couldn't commit to me to save his life. I dont know where all the "together" people are hiding. I'd like to know too. Well your just plain out of luck... Cause truth is... there are'nt that many quality men out there to begin with.
2sunny Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 As a gal - I am considered a great "catch" Although I have to say PP - I wouldn't give you and your perspective the time of day
kitty99b Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 PP there is no dating(or relationship) without drama!! people have diff opinions and ideas and standards and expectations..meaning there will me some amount of drama, i say though that some might have more than others...but still you've got to be ready to deal with some drama if you want to get serious with someone.
directx Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I feel exactly the same way as you. I'm 33, have a career, a home, 2 cars, great friends, have been told i'm decent looking, etc but I'm not finding any quality men. My last ex I thought he was but he was just playing games. He had the career and good financial skills but he couldn't commit to me to save his life. I dont know where all the "together" people are hiding. I'd like to know too. You sound like a good match for Peace_Pipe here! Together, you would have FOUR cars! Good thing you are not divorced ariawoman! Because Peace_Pipe has issues with that...oh wait...
Mezzi Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 peace pipe, I can see why you have trouble with realtionships. LOL at some of your statements which are completely erroneous not to mention rude and extremely condemnatory. You meet some of the criteria that would meet the definition of a catch but some criterion are more highly rated than others. A seemingly critical attitude coupled with your air of self-importance cancels out things like educational success, wealth and assets. I personally would opt for being alone if I had to choose between you and a loser.
AriaIncognito Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Well your just plain out of luck... Cause truth is... there are'nt that many quality men out there to begin with. Ok I answered previously after only reading his initial post. Now that I've read more, I'd like to expand on what I said. I'm looking for someone who is together as the OP says. Someone who is an equal to me so to speak. Someone I can hold a conversation with and laugh with and have a good time with. It goes WAY beyond the material things, and even the physical things. It's more mental/emotional. As for what the OP is saying above divorce implying that something is wrong with you, I'm sorry but I think you're way off on that one. That's like saying you've never made a single mistake your entire life. Whether you make a small mistake such as a car accident, or a huge mistake such as putting too much anesthesia in a patient, you are still a fallable being. This goes for divorce too. Putting two people together in wedlock does not imply success. Just because you THINK you know the person you married, doesn't mean you do. How many people had a spouse cheat on them? A spouse walk out on them and the kids. Do you think they went into that relationship thinking it would happen to them? Doubt it. It could even happen to you. None of us want it to happen, but fact is, nobody plans for mistakes no matter how large or small. I've never been divorced, and I hope not to have to go through that, but should I, I'd like to know that it doesn't mean I'm inferior. It certainly doesn't imply they "gave up too easily" or "didn't work at the relationship". You really can't put sweeping judgements upon such a large topic. Expand your horizons. One mans trash is another mans treasure. Taht can apply to divorcees as well.
kitty99b Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Well your just plain out of luck... Cause truth is... there are'nt that many quality men out there to begin with. I couldn't agree more... men with good qualitlies/morals/standards are endangered species!!
Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 I couldn't agree more... men with good qualitlies/morals/standards are endangered species!! The sad thing is, when one does come your way you don't even notice it.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I couldn't agree more... men with good qualitlies/morals/standards are endangered species!! Hmmm... I was hoping the ladies would disagree with me. I have this funny feeling that it relates strongly to what our society values in men.
AriaIncognito Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 You sound like a good match for Peace_Pipe here! Together, you would have FOUR cars! Good thing you are not divorced ariawoman! Because Peace_Pipe has issues with that...oh wait... Being a good match materially doesn't mean you're a good match emotionally. :-) I know the difference. I'm not sure the OP does. I've got a ton to offer the right person, and it doesn't involve that which I own. It involves who I am and how I love.
DanielMadr Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 From a woman's perspective, what makes a man a "catch"? A history of the cause of my question: I consider myself a "catch" and while some women may agree, many, many do not. I see so many women with guys that have no career, no car, alcoholism, abondoned children, etc. They don't seem to care much as long as the guy is "attractive". My situation - I am 30, in good physical shape, have a career, my own place and 2 cars. Not only that I work hard and am very motivated. I condsider myself to be slightly better than average looking. Now I know material thing does not make the person; but where does character come into play here? I have posted similar items here before and the general response I get is that these things don't mean anything. I understand they ar enot everything, but I feel they are a huge part of who a person is. I respect someone that has a good career and has made effort to not be divorced or have children outside of marriage. Do these things not speak volumes about someone's character? It takes a lot of character to build yourself a career and to not have children outside of marriage, for example. I feel these are good traits that will carry over into oter areas of life. So when did women start overlooking these things? While a career and a nice dwelling may not be everything, it's a hell of a good start. To me, it also shows strong character. I am so frustrated of getting passed up for total losers. Women also seem to love jailbirds... UGGH Help me break the evil cycle? Or am I just I the oddball in a world of immorality? For once it would be so nice to meet a woman with something to offer me other than drama. Im not a woman. But Ive learned this. If you cant swept her of her feet with your charisma, you are just another loser. Unless she has mentality of slave owner she wont look at your bank credit. Women are not starving to death or getting eaten by sabre tigers these days. It is not that your abilities as a provider are something of a turn off. Its just not everyhing. You should concetrate on oher areas of your personality and life to improve. Are you a uptight person or is it a delight to be around you? Are you cool? At ease. Fun to be with?
Cobra_X30 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 The sad thing is, when one does come your way you don't even notice it. Well, thats cause you got to do some work to open thier eyes! You act like women control relationships... you do realize that the overall success or failure of a relationship balances mainly on the guy. There are some girls out there that are real turds, but Ive found 75% follow where you lead!
Author peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 Ok I answered previously after only reading his initial post. Now that I've read more, I'd like to expand on what I said. I'm looking for someone who is together as the OP says. Someone who is an equal to me so to speak. Someone I can hold a conversation with and laugh with and have a good time with. It goes WAY beyond the material things, and even the physical things. It's more mental/emotional. As for what the OP is saying above divorce implying that something is wrong with you, I'm sorry but I think you're way off on that one. That's like saying you've never made a single mistake your entire life. Whether you make a small mistake such as a car accident, or a huge mistake such as putting too much anesthesia in a patient, you are still a fallable being. This goes for divorce too. Putting two people together in wedlock does not imply success. Just because you THINK you know the person you married, doesn't mean you do. How many people had a spouse cheat on them? A spouse walk out on them and the kids. Do you think they went into that relationship thinking it would happen to them? Doubt it. It could even happen to you. None of us want it to happen, but fact is, nobody plans for mistakes no matter how large or small. I've never been divorced, and I hope not to have to go through that, but should I, I'd like to know that it doesn't mean I'm inferior. It certainly doesn't imply they "gave up too easily" or "didn't work at the relationship". You really can't put sweeping judgements upon such a large topic. Expand your horizons. One mans trash is another mans treasure. Taht can apply to divorcees as well. Ariawoman, this is not an attack on you. This is for alll the thick skulled people out there. I am surprised that loveshack represents such a small demographic of literates. Through out this post, people have taken what I said out of context, time after time and attacked me. Thanks! Sweetness!! One last time for the divorcees... Being divorced is evidence of poor decision making skills, period! As for the other things associated with it.... cheating, lying, etc... I want to know if the girl I am with now cheated on her ex. If she did, she is gone, period. That is judgement, that is my choice. Get over it. You all judge the same everyday but you are too glorified to admit it.
shadowplay Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 You expect women to look past the surface of physical attractiveness and consider you a catch because of your material achievements, yet I'm willing to bet you wouldn't do the same...you'd probably date an extremely attractive woman who didn't have a car, a nice job, house, etc. Am I right? Be honest. I'm 24. I consider a catch a guy who is smart, good-looking, funny, sweet, ambitious, creative, shares many of my interests and is emotionally available. Material goods are not so important to me...maybe because most guys my age don't have many at this point.
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