RealityCheck Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 We can all relate to the thrills that the MM can bring, but has anyone actually pondered the boredom? Flip side of the thrill We can all relate to the frustrations as well, however I am strictly speaking of the boredom of being the convenience I can recall days where my thoughts would be consumed thinking “oh goody” I will see him this weekend and how I became stagnate physically waiting for that day to arrive. How I loved to live my life passionately in every aspect until the A. Where my life seemed to come to a dead halt of dull, nill and void. Thrilled to pieces to be with him when he was around, but bored to tears when he was not For me, since the A is a thing of the past! True life passion is present!
messylady Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I always had to travel to meet my mm and I too would be consumed with this meeting for days beforehand, I would cherish every minute sitting on the train heading towards some secret meeting place... then cry all the way home 2 days later, get back in my house and lock the door and sit and worry over when I would next hear from him, I wouldn't go out or let anyone phone me incase I missed a call... I shut everyone out to the point I never get asked to go out with friends anymore and I am too miserable to anyway... I hate what I have become
Lyssa Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 For me, I do wait for the day when I get to see him etc.. but I keep myself busy till the day comes and when it's over - I go back to my life. Do the things I normally do... till the day we meet again. Flipside of the thrill would be when we both thought we could have each other and then.. BA-DA-BING!!! Something comes up and forget it!!
annabelle75 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I've dealt with the same highs and lows with LDRs. The build up of the excitement and thrill of being able to see each other and then the stagnent let down in the days after its over. I hated it. After a while it seemed hardly worth it. I'd much rather have a guy around that I can see regularly with restrictions. It feels like I have a life again.
Meranna Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I do get all excited and look forward for days before we get to meet up with each other. However, I enjoy my free time afterward........I like being single and having my own space. No one to tell me what to do or things of that nature and if I don't want to shave for a week straight, I don't have to. There are times I get lonely and want to go out with someone to dinner or just want the companionship of someone to sit on the couch with and watch movies all night. If I get in that mood I just treat my kids to a night out or rent some movies to watch with them. I'm lucky enough to get to talk to him via chat all day while he is at work and we also play an online game together so I get to spend virtual time with him in the evenings. I pretty much get to talk to him all day and I think that helps the situation greatly. It also reassures me that he's not sitting at home on the couch watching movies and spending time with the W.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 For me, my life was busy alright! However the passion in what I did was gone! It was a though I was on auto pilot. Bored with everything I did basically.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 This is one of the worst aspects for me. I think about him so much its like a disease eating my brain! It really cheapens the interactions I have with other people because I rarely concentrate for long without him popping into my head. I hate the limbo I go into when he's not around. If I know he's not going to be around, I'm ok. I get on with things, keep busy, keep happy. But its those days "There's a chance I might be able to see you" days. Where I sit around and dont know a time and wait for my summons. Its so sad when I write it down. I really do hope one day I'll just wake up and think "Jeee-sus, get a grip of yourself woman!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I think about him so much its like a disease eating my brain! It really cheapens the interactions I have with other people because I rarely concentrate for long without him popping into my head. I hope this isnt the case when your reading MY posts!
Author RealityCheck Posted August 14, 2007 Author Posted August 14, 2007 I hope this isnt the case when your reading MY posts! OMG! LOLLLLLLLLLL I see we have a Stallion among us!
bonehead Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I don't know if boredom is the right word. Consumed maybe. I think the OW/OM goes on wiht their lives, but for a while it doesnt hold the same meaning as it did before the A started.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Posted August 15, 2007 I don't know if boredom is the right word. Consumed maybe. I think the OW/OM goes on wiht their lives, but for a while it doesnt hold the same meaning as it did before the A started. For me as it progressed I was bored. It became old! Old and boring!
lost4ever Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I don't get bored with not seeing him, I only see him once or twice a month anyways, but I do feel like he "forgets" about me...we don't get to talk all that much he calls in the morning on way to work, and on the way home (each call is for about 4 min.) Then I start to freak when he don't call, then I remember I'm being a crazy lady, then I get sad because he didn't call and I'm crazy....man life sucks
sadbuttrue Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 i do think of him often when he is not around. i do feel consumed by these thoughts at times, but i do have a life without him and i must continue with it. i do find less enjoyment with my life now than i used to before him. now i think about how wonderful it would be if i could just have him as part of this or that. i guess i let wishful thinking overtake me. i see him at least twice a week, sometimes more, and we talk everyday except not usually on the weekends. i do feel like when he is not with me it is not as bad for him because he has his W there for him, i have no one else.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Posted August 15, 2007 Bored with life, or the affair? I honestly became bored with the affair. Like anything in the beginning I was caught up in new excitement. As things progressed it became boring. Geez, even the conversations and sex became routine when I thought about it....lol I love adventure and if there is anyone who has "adventure" in their affair, by all means post away! Because I never had it!
Hurt & Alone Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 RC, I can not honestly say that I was bored when he was not around because when he was not with me, he still was, if not by texting then in my mind and heart. I looked forward to any time that we did have together. If there were times of no conversation then I was perfectly content knowing he was next to me, when he was with me. I had also put the things I would normally do on hold bc spending time with him meant so much to me, more than my normal activites meant. I loved having a special relationship with my xmm. This is probably the reason I still have such a hard time letting him slip out of my mind. Looking back, even with all the heartach that I feel and the constant memories stirring in my head continuosly, and the W finding out if there were such a thing as a time machine I would turn it back just to do it again, but this time do it smarter so that I still could spend that time with him.
Author RealityCheck Posted August 15, 2007 Author Posted August 15, 2007 RC, I can not honestly say that I was bored when he was not around because when he was not with me, he still was, if not by texting then in my mind and heart. I looked forward to any time that we did have together. If there were times of no conversation then I was perfectly content knowing he was next to me, when he was with me. I had also put the things I would normally do on hold bc spending time with him meant so much to me, more than my normal activites meant. I loved having a special relationship with my xmm. This is probably the reason I still have such a hard time letting him slip out of my mind. Looking back, even with all the heartach that I feel and the constant memories stirring in my head continuosly, and the W finding out if there were such a thing as a time machine I would turn it back just to do it again, but this time do it smarter so that I still could spend that time with him. Okay... Let me ask you this question only because I felt this and was wondering if this had the same affect on you. In your moments without his presence, even when he texted did you still feel a sense of boredom. A kind of feeling like....well he's not here so this still isn't doing it for me. a hum-drum affect.
simplegirl Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I got to a point where when my kids were with my exH I didn't want to leave my house just in case he could come by. I lived that way for a long time. I got out of that pretty quickly and got on with my life, I missed some visits in there but oh well, at least I wasn't sitting around waiting on him!
Hurt & Alone Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 Okay... Let me ask you this question only because I felt this and was wondering if this had the same affect on you. In your moments without his presence, even when he texted did you still feel a sense of boredom. A kind of feeling like....well he's not here so this still isn't doing it for me. a hum-drum affect. No, I cant say that bc I have a child to take care of and in his absence I was preoccupied with my responsibilities. I wont lie and say that I did not want him w me more because I did, but the time we did have together held me until the next time. I am not so sure that I could commit to a full time rel but I loved him as if it were.
endless Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 Speaking of boredom. After D day, it's been six months that I have not seen him. Now I even live in the different country. Boredom has been like my very close friend. I've spent great amount of time trying to regain myself back and be happy with the activities that used to keep me sane before I met him. At this point I can say I am nearly there. BUT, there are days that I still feel like SH*T and spend my whole day in the state of boredom. I miss him so much! Thank god those days got lessen now. I still have a long way to go but I am fighting to be happy again....WITHOUT HIM!
halfarock Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I honestly became bored with the affair. Like anything in the beginning I was caught up in new excitement. As things progressed it became boring. Geez, even the conversations and sex became routine when I thought about it....lol I love adventure and if there is anyone who has "adventure" in their affair, by all means post away! Because I never had it! I kind of feel this way about many of the relationships that I’ve been in. It seems to me that most people have only so much to say and after awhile just end up repeating themselves. Affairs tend to not be the best relationships in that they tend to just be glimpses. In that they never go anywhere, they get boring. I try to turn everything into an adventure, it doesn’t always work though.
PoshPrincess Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 For me, my life was busy alright! However the passion in what I did was gone! It was a though I was on auto pilot. Bored with everything I did basically. Me too, more though in the dying months of our R. It wasn't so bad to begin with. Towards the end I couldn't concetrate on anything I did. I would go out drinking just to avoid staying in, but have a sh*t time anyway, and even when I took my son out my mind wasn't on anything other than MM. It was SO lonely.
IWALH Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 During our first "affair" I could definitely relate to this. The second one, kind of. But the second time around I had my daughter who I devoted everything to. He undoubtedly did consume a lot of my thoughts and when he wouldn't call for a few days I would start getting very agitated with everything... then when he called I felt much better. It was more like an addiction than anything else.
SanDiegoGuy Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 This is one of the worst aspects for me. I think about him so much its like a disease eating my brain! It really cheapens the interactions I have with other people because I rarely concentrate for long without him popping into my head. I hate the limbo I go into when he's not around. If I know he's not going to be around, I'm ok. I get on with things, keep busy, keep happy. But its those days "There's a chance I might be able to see you" days. Where I sit around and dont know a time and wait for my summons. Its so sad when I write it down. I really do hope one day I'll just wake up and think "Jeee-sus, get a grip of yourself woman! OMG.....you just explained me to a 'T' (except I'm the OM involved with a MW). Sucks...no?
precious1357 Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 I do not get a chance to be bored. We've been together 8 months and I see him in the morning and evening, at least 4-5 days a week, we talk 3 times during the day. I love it, I'm over 50 years old and no one ever, and I mean ever has loved me and attended to me as much as he does.
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