cr8sea Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 I had a horrible episode last nite. As i was coming home from my new guy's home I started to realize why im so afraid of him (not as in physically intimidated but more like...emotionally). ive posted a few times about my doubts and my fears but it totally hit me like a rock last nite. In fact when i was with him cuddling watching a movie i couldnt help but tear up. I dont feel safe. And its not him....its me. I cant get over what happened in my last two relationships, where they seemed to like me so much and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, they turned around and left. Worst part is that they both said the exact same thing when they ended it. The second time i couldnt believe my ears. I wanted to run and hide because those exact words had crushed me two years before to the point i couldnt go back to date for two whole years. The second time around wasnt that bad cuz i didnt care for the guy as much....but it still hurt and made me wonder what is it that i do that makes them say "im just not ready for you" Anyway, im petrified to hear it again.......and even when my man acts like he's falling, i cant help but remember the other two seemed to be doing the same right before they dropped me. I drove home in tears, furious that instead of being able to enjoy how good this guy treats me, im wondering when he's gonna get tired of it and silently pleading him to not hurt me. How do i get over this???? i wont end it, cuz i refuse to give up bc of fear.....but the anxiety is ridiculous. Any advice?
SierraMarie Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 You should definetely try to figure out what went wrong in your last two relationships. Maybe it was just a coincidence they both happened the same way, or maybe not..
Touche Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 Where does your new guy stand as far as commitment goes. Is that something that he's looking for? Also, look at the past histories of the other two guys and this one. Any similarities?
Author cr8sea Posted August 15, 2007 Author Posted August 15, 2007 Where does your new guy stand as far as commitment goes. Is that something that he's looking for? He says he wants to find the right girl to marry, and wants to marry only once. He wants to really take the time to know me and see if things work out. he is 28 and told me he had always wanted to be married by 30-32...so im thinking he isnt really playing the field at this point. We've only dated for two months and a half so we're still in the dating phase of the relationship....and maybe this is why im so insecured....but still....the last guy i dated we were "exclusive" and that didnt stop him from dropping me like a hot potato.... He hasnt given me any reason to doubt him, so i feel im not being fair to him....in fact, once we stablished we werent exclusive yet, and i said no sex until we were exclusive, he accepted it and respected whatever decision i made. "No pressure" as he puts it..... so.....its all me.... i wish i could figure it out...sometimes i feel like im just not cut out for this and whomever i date i wont be able to trust....man, how can someone mess someone up so bad.....
Author cr8sea Posted August 20, 2007 Author Posted August 20, 2007 man, im reading all these posts and i realize how much baggage I have. Poor guy has no idea! im really trying to let bygones be bygones and the more time i spend with him, the easier it gets....he's definitely not one of those jerks ive dealt with before...so im ok.... Isnt it sad though? you date someone, see them and how they act, but you have absolutely no idea what really is going on in their mind and hearts??? scary thought
lino Posted August 21, 2007 Posted August 21, 2007 The next relationship I'll get into, I know I'm going to feel the exact same way as you are now. My ex left me without blinking when things looked good You're right it is a scary thought.
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