Lucky555 Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Lately i have been thinking that there is a lot of emphasis on having "someone" I think to have a person in your life who is special is great, but do we always have to have someone. or even a prospect of who we want to date? I am going through this right now. I had just ended a dating relationship but it seems like i am fine with just being and focusing on my studies and thinking about what i want to do with my next two weeks before college starts. Now my friend who is a guy keeps suggesting that I have a boyfriend and that i should have one. why is he trying to get me to have a boyfriend or an interest in someone. Also have any of you ever felt like UGH I Just want a break from dating and maybe i need some time to evaluate what it is i am seeking. Have any of u just wanted a relationship with a guy just to hang out with and do you think a guy and a girl can be friends? For me i just want a guy friend and it seems like every guy that i encounter has an agenda! There is a difference in hanging out with a guy as a friend and a girl. I find that when i hang out with guys that i meet more guys as opposed to girls when i just meet more girls or their boyfriends! It seems as though i am able to have a better selection when i just go with guys as friends and meet their friends. this i found has been effective in helping me meet people, but the "guy friends" alway want me for themselves so i end up just keeping my distance even though i am a really good friend.
peace_pipe Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Most guys don't want girls who are "friends". Most guys that do are gay. Now, just because a guy has another "agenda" does not mean it is negative. I can only speak for myself but I know what I want. I personally, don't want to waste my time with a girl who wants to be "friends". It's a complete waste for an eligble bachelor. Even if you are 'friends" and you two hang out - guess what? Other girls aren't gonna approach him because you are there as the perceived girlfriend. It seemd like you are only thinking of yourself, which is not all bad. You must remember, however, that a guy has needs and himself to think of also. My advice to you is that if you have decided to take a break from dating then do it. Don't have a new guy hanging as a friend around cause then you are not really taking a break from anything. In my opinion, you're using these guys for a crutch if you do this. I personally stay away from women who have many guy "friends". It's a sign of immaturity and generally a HUGE RED FLAG. If a girl tells me she wants to be "friends", I make haste in leaving.
StayClose Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 The problem is that if you want to be sexually active, the politically correct thing to do is to be in a relationship. Women who have sex without relationships are called sluts, and men are called players. If you don't want sex at this time in your life, you don't need a releationship and you have your friends for non-sexual company needs. Should "friends with benefits" be more accepted? That way you don't have to be in a relaitonship until that's what you want to do, but you don't have to be celebate either.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 15, 2007 Author Posted August 15, 2007 So what i have read from the previous two posts is that a girl and a guy just can't be friends? Ok so is it ok for a guy to have a lot of girls as friends? I have seen this a lot! I am not implying sleeping with guy friends it just means i don't have an interest in sleeping with them but i like their "personality". Like i don't have attraction to them but they have good character. I know i have tried this with a guy that i know likes me more than a friend , but he wont just be my friend like i want him to, so i guess he stopped replying to my e-mails. He has even invited me to parties and when i was dating someone he told me to bring the guy along. This guy has not told me he likes me but the "implications" are there. He is my coworker too so i have worked with him for about 2 months everyday just about. So do any of you guys just have girls that are friends? it seems like every guy i meet has numerous girls that just friends!
StayClose Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 Guys and girls CAN be friends. But what often happens is that the guy wants to be more than friends, and is hanging out as friends in hopes that the girl with break up with her boyfriend and he'll be next, ot that she'll start to like him more than friends too. This sets up an unhealthy situation, especially for the guy. Eventually the girl will get a new boyfriend, and he'll get upset or start thinking he's not good enough. His emotional attachment to his "friend" actually makes it less likely to develop an attraction that might lead to a relationship to someone who is actually available. But where this dynamic does not exist, guys aand girls can be friends and it can be just fine. This test is this: If you told your male friend that you met this great guy who just might be marriage material, would he be happy for you or heartbroken? If it is the latter, then it is not a healthy friendship.
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