angie16 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 About 6 months ago, my boyfriends father died suddently. we had been going out a year and half at this time and i had been friends with his younger brother (only 19) and close with his family. at the funeral my boyfriends ex showed up, and i found out that she was still very good friends with his brother. we did not get along and his brother accused me of "not honoring his father" and being mean to my boyfriends ex who was "trying to honor his father". honestly we only had a few words in private and nothing about this had anything to do wtih him (she apparently told him i was being mean to her). my boyfriend ignored her, but his brother has held a huge grudge against me since (its been 6 months!) to the point now that he won't even talk to me at all, return emails, or be in the same room with me, and not even talk that much to his own brother and refuses to let go of this grudge against me. its becoming very stressfull. we would like to someday get married but now the family stress is giving us cold feet. this is all very sad for me. advice? he really wont let it go. and my boyfriend values his family very highly, and he has said that if his brother is still not talking to me in the future, that he thinks it would be very difficult for us to take the next step, and that he has tried to bring it up several times with him, but he just changes the subject. his brother is a hot head that is used to getting his way -- from everyone in the family including my boyfriend. he is only 19 and i get angry because it really does feel like just the posturing of a little kid to get his way and that he doesn't realize how he's hurting our relationship.
jcster Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I think that you are going to have to be the one to make peace. Even if it was all a matter of miscommunication, it's obvious the kid is upset. If it will keep peace in the family, and make your boyfriend's life easier - I would suggest you try and find a time to speak with his little brother alone and hear what he has to say.
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