need to understand why i feel this way

[confused73]

I am new to this blogging community and I am hoping others can give me an insight to my feelings. I've read some of the posts and found that they offer good advice/insights. To give a background about myself, I am in my early 30's, married for 8 years with a small kid.

 

I met a man about a month ago that I became strongly attracted to. The attraction is more on the physical side I believe since I haven't really had the chance to get to know him. I haven't been able to get him out of my mind since. I know it seems shallow but I tend to fall easily for no reason at all. I know it is wrong but I have made attempts to communicate with him - partly because of something that he needed to fix for me around the house, mostly because I wanted to see him again. I have made known to him of my attraction thru a text message and he really did not respond to it at the time. When he came back to do what he needed to do, I felt so awkward around him - knowing that he knew I am attracted to him. He tried to make small talk - asking about what I do for a living and other small stuff. While he was here, I got a text message from him - asking if I am thinking what he is thinking. There is a sexual tone to it. He said he did not want to go all the way but maybe we can fool around. I was not able to control myself and ended up fooling around with him. In the middle of it, he said he thought he can do it but he realized he can't. He said he can't put up with the guilt because he has a girlfriend whom he has been with for 5 months. He said he does not cheat. They don't live together though. By the way, he is 13 years younger than me. He knew the age difference before we started fooling around so I don't know if this is part of the reason why he realized he can't do it. The fooling around got really "intimate" for him but not for me.

 

Shortly after he left, he sent me a text message saying not to text him out of nowhere later as his gf checks his celphone a lot. Since then, he has never replied to any of my text messages. I said hi a couple of times. I haven't really gotten him of my mind since. It's been affecting my work as well since my job requires a lot of thinking. It does not make any sense but I have become attached to him somehow because of what happened. I realized I am not the casual encounter type of girl and puts meaning into "intimate" encounters - even if it is only a "half" encounter.

 

I need to understand why I can't stop thinking of him and why I can't let go of what happened. Why did he initiate the fooling around? Why did he stop? Why the no contact?

 

I know it's wrong but I can't stop thinking of him. Please help. I was hoping if I get my questions answered, I can put this all to rest.

[whichwayisup]

He changed his mind, realized that he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. And, he probably realized that you were developing feelings for him, and THAT is another reason why he backed off of you.

 

Bottomline, you have a husband and a child at home. Focus on your husband, figure out why you felt the need to go outside your marriage and cheat on your husband. Obviously there are some needs that are not being met...

 

He isn't interested anymore, so you need to make peace with that and forget him. If you can't, you're going to be letting some guy you barely know AFFECT your life. And possibly lose what you have with your husband...Is this other guy worth all that??? My guess is no, but you aren't there yet to 'see' that.

[funkybassplayer]

I am new to this blogging community and I am hoping others can give me an insight to my feelings. I've read some of the posts and found that they offer good advice/insights. To give a background about myself, I am in my early 30's, married for 8 years with a small kid.

 

I met a man about a month ago that I became strongly attracted to. The attraction is more on the physical side I believe since I haven't really had the chance to get to know him. I haven't been able to get him out of my mind since. I know it seems shallow but I tend to fall easily for no reason at all. I know it is wrong but I have made attempts to communicate with him - partly because of something that he needed to fix for me around the house, mostly because I wanted to see him again. I have made known to him of my attraction thru a text message and he really did not respond to it at the time. When he came back to do what he needed to do, I felt so awkward around him - knowing that he knew I am attracted to him. He tried to make small talk - asking about what I do for a living and other small stuff. While he was here, I got a text message from him - asking if I am thinking what he is thinking. There is a sexual tone to it. He said he did not want to go all the way but maybe we can fool around. I was not able to control myself and ended up fooling around with him. In the middle of it, he said he thought he can do it but he realized he can't. He said he can't put up with the guilt because he has a girlfriend whom he has been with for 5 months. He said he does not cheat. They don't live together though. By the way, he is 13 years younger than me. He knew the age difference before we started fooling around so I don't know if this is part of the reason why he realized he can't do it. The fooling around got really "intimate" for him but not for me.

 

Shortly after he left, he sent me a text message saying not to text him out of nowhere later as his gf checks his celphone a lot. Since then, he has never replied to any of my text messages. I said hi a couple of times. I haven't really gotten him of my mind since. It's been affecting my work as well since my job requires a lot of thinking. It does not make any sense but I have become attached to him somehow because of what happened. I realized I am not the casual encounter type of girl and puts meaning into "intimate" encounters - even if it is only a "half" encounter.

 

I need to understand why I can't stop thinking of him and why I can't let go of what happened. Why did he initiate the fooling around? Why did he stop? Why the no contact?

 

I know it's wrong but I can't stop thinking of him. Please help. I was hoping if I get my questions answered, I can put this all to rest.

 

 

 

Cos he doenst want the contact, and he may be happy as he is. Your best just to leave him be, and if there is no emotional connection, then it will be easy to get him out of your head.