beachgrrl Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Hi, I'm new here and I could use some support! I was with my bf for five years with the last year being very tumultuous. He has an ex-wife and a child with her (he just recently got the official divorce...after I had pleaded with him for years to get it done). We work together and are forced to see each other around three days a week, but we speak almost everyday. I ended our relationship because of many reasons, the top one is that even though I was with him for so long, I had only met his kid a handful of times. It was never just the three of us and I was his "friend" every time. I had brought this up to him a million times about how I was feeling like I wasn't important and that he didn't think I was worthy to be in his child's life, but he would tell me that he and his ex had agreed that niether of them would introduce thier kid to anyone unless marriage was on the table...(ridiculuous!). Meanwhile, she has been having her new boyfriend hang out with their kid for months now and the only reason they even got a divorce is because she wants to get re-married and she initiated the divorce proceedings! He told me he felt "betrayed" by her. BETRAYED?? I admire her! She found love again and wants her fiancee to be involved in all aspects of her life! I felt like such a piece of crap! Even his sister is going through a similar situation with a man (with two kids and an ex-wife)she met two years after her brother and I started to see each other and they are getting married this month! The situation was getting to be unbearable. I was really going into a state of constant depression. There is no worse feeling than hearing from the one you love that you have to leave his house because his kid is coming over! He never even had a picture of me in his house in all the time we were together. It was like a knife in the chest everytime! Other things happened that only deepened my feeling that he was taking me for granted and that I was not as important to him in his life as he was in mine, so I decided to end it...and he didn't seem too broken up about it (at least not to me). It took a long time for us to be really over, though beacuse we saw each other at work and sometimes that would lead to lunch and lead to other things... I feel like I was duped into believing that he loved me or that he even knows what it means to love someone in the first place!!! The funny thing is that even though I have a ton of mixed feelings about the break up, I know that he isn't the man for me. I think I stayed so long in it because I was more in love with the man I wanted him to be instead of the guy he was and that's what blinded me, but I do have closure issues. I feel like because I have to see him and speak to him all the time that I'm not going through a normal break up. He is all business when we talk and I just want him to tell me everything I've always wanted him to tell me. I don't go through the urges of wanting to call because we aren't going through an NC stage. Is this normal? Will I ever really be able to get over him when I talk to him constantly? I do feel very sad about the whole thing and it doesn't help that he is so fine with it all. Sometimes I wish he would leave me alone for like a month or two so I could move on...it makes me a miserable person at work and it does affect my life (would you want to date a woman who works with her ex?) Thanks for letting me vent...I needed that!
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