alexa137 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 for the people who can do the no contact i give you praise--it is the hardest thing to do! dont you feel like he will forget about you? or move on to the next girl if you dont speak? i am going crazy not talking to my ex--but i am not really sure if we have officially broke up--when i ask him are we over -i get i dont know what i want--but i havent seen him so i guess its over--but its been so much drama-we argue then dont speak then fight etc i went 1 1/2 day without picking up the phone-which is good for me i guess i think he will think out if sight of of mind if we dont talk and i'm scared bcause i dont really think he wants it to be over-hes done this before--just has to get away and move out but still talk,sex, etc.. which i know really breaks the rules the sex thing--but when you are used to being intimate with someone everyday sometimes 2-3 a day for 16 months its hard to be without it! especially when the sex is good! and i dont want him to get it somewhere else!
CrazyPanda Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Sounds like you guys need to just work out some problems. You say you guys argue but try to take some time and talk about what's going on. Communication is key in a relationship. If he is unwilling to sit down, talk it out with you and tell you how he feels about the situation then he isn't trying to work it out. He has given up on your relationship if he doesn't want to work things out. No contact is mainly used to get over someone in a break up. You; however, are not exactly sound broken up, just under some turbulance. On the part of the sex, just stop. I know its hard to stop such a good thing but if he's confused or lost, don't have sex with him. It gives him the feeling that even if you guys are broken up that he can still have you. Don't let him have you by the end of the string. If you respect yourself he will respect you.
Author alexa137 Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 i am trying to decide whether i want to keep trying-one minute i do want him bcause i cant see myself with someone else and i dont want to go out there and i dont want to be alone- i was alone 6 years before i met him-now i am used to everything about him i am trying to read everything i can online about " winning your ex back!" and then again i am realizing he is wrong for me-if he cared he wouldnt have moved out after i found out i was pregnant(a few weeks later) and he would have been there for me when i lost the baby-so within the past 2 weeks ive lost him and his baby--i am very depressed but everytime we talk the past week its an arguement! no matter who starts it-he says its usually me he says there is too many problems at my house-thats why he moved my daughter hated him! and she disrespected him but thats another story so i tried to be nice and not pick fights the first week after he moved out but now we are not getting along bcause of the jeep(title) situation-bcause i helped him buy it-i put $400 down and my name is on the loan and title-so i think i should keep it that way he wants me to remove my name since he makes the monthly payments i did do it friday(told him i didnt) that i need a letter he has but i called bank this morning and told them to "undo" it bcause i got pissed since he got a new cell phone thurs and wont give me the # which i think is so rude and ignorant! i might be petty about it but its riduculous i just dont know which was to go-bcause this has happened before--he gets fed up with me moves out for a while then everything is ok and were back together he moves back in repeat-this is the 3rd time! since march! i know he loves me or he would let go- when i found out he cheated on me and i was gonna leave him he told me "you cant leave me, i need you, i will marry you right now" well i tried that on him a few weeks ago and it didnt work i dont know what else to do! the no contact thing is so impossible!
CrazyPanda Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 ok a whole lot of information has just be released. This relationship sounds like a never ending cycle where history just repeats itself over and over again. You two love, fight, leave and then come back. I'm a little upset that he was still away from you when you were pregnant. It just shows you what kind of person he is. You keep on taking him back, i know you believe it's because he realize he loves you and such but it's just not entirely true, sorry to say that. You gave him a second chance and he still left you. He blames the arguements on you instead of himself. You deserve better, the guy doesn't respect you because he thinks that he can just leave and come back anytime he wants. you cannot really change a person, and it sounds like he will just continue to do this to you. trying to win him back will backfire on you. It might seem good for a little bit, but history repeats itself and it will happen again. Save yourself some long term pain.
Author alexa137 Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 i really believe it comes down to he doesnt want to see me with other guys-i know it he gets mad even if i mention going out! of course i dont want him to be with anyone else either but if you break up eventually it will happen! like ive told him before let go and i will too-he said this morning when i told him to leave me alone that if i sign the paper for the jeep he will leave me alone--not sure about that though! its so hard bcause i guess i u can say he was my first "real" boyfriend-we saw each other everyday, moved in together, sex everyday did things together, he gave me two rings, one love and one diamond engagement ring-he asked me many times to marry him etc... so you see thats why its so hard -i imagined is together a long time since he filled my head up-i am a very insecure woman-i have never had a man take me out, spend money on me , or even buy me rings now wow that was a huge gesture for me ive never lived with a guy before him either we have so much memories good and bad weve been through so much but everytime i do my private investigating he gets mad and moves out! but i cant help me ive tried to stop-i have slowed down alot! the first week he moved out i would ride by his aunts(thats were hes living now) to make sure he was there(and he was!) but the past 2 nights i havent(mostly bcause i have no gas or money!) you wonder what the other person is doing since they arent spending time with you anymore- i mean for over a year i saw him all day except when we were working(7am-3pm) and spent most of the weekend together--so the past 2 weeks ive been home ALOT-being bored, cleaning and sleeping-i dont know what to do to get him out of my mind! especially i just took off work without pay to go through the depression and surgery from miscarraige so i am totally broke and now dont have any help to pay my bills(even though he only gave me about $50 a week!) now he gets to spend all his money to himself and but stupid expensive cell phones that i cant even have the #! i'm getting pissed again gonna go cry for awhile........
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