Royelle Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I used to date someone for 7 mos until ast Feb and we sort of drifted apart. I couldn't understand the relationship and I just didn't know if it was ever going to work. So I offered my friendship after the breakup and he didn't seem interested in that so I let it drop. Background: he and I are both in our fifties. I have been married some of my life and had one daughter. He was only married 3 mos in his life, no children. I'm quiet, private and don't like chitter-chatter and he is a complete gadabout. Always on the cell phone. Only my daughter and Verizon have my cell #. I have a home phone, too, but I for some reason don't like to answer it. And so I just got weary of his constant mingling, sucking up to people, shooting the breeze and I would sometimes have to sit by and hear him tell 5 people on the phone the same story, because he just had to share with one and all. And every nite I visited him he was on the phone to his elderly mom for about 45 minutes and I just had to sit and watch TV or something and wait. So in Feb I got the flu bad and I kind of collapsed at home, sick and burned out from the past months. I didn't call him or return his calls. A few weeks later I said, I'm your friend at least and like I said, he blew that off. Anyway, about June he contacted me by email offering a favor. I said no, that's okay. So next month he offers it again and I say, well, alrite. It was him going to a supply house to get stuff for my business. If you go directly there, no shipping charges. After two weeks went by he finally got around to bringing stuff by and wouldn't let me pay for it. That was the one and only time I saw him. One day he wanted to come over but I had to tell him I was busy. He said a lot of sexy gibberish on the phone again later that nite and I was like, huh? And then he disappeared again. So I contacted him once more and said, btw, that nice bathrobe of mine I left over at your place, could I possibly get that back? And he has just strung me along and blown me off with that now. And then sent a love-gibberish email to me Wed promising to call and bring me the robe, to which I didn't know what to say. And then he neglected my b-day on Friday. I just want the bathrobe and I can't seem to get it. 2 mos of his emails and occasional calls and I have seen him exactly once. I know, I know, this is nowhere. So today I sent a very direct email saying, I am gonna be on your side of town twice this week. I can pick up bathrobe at a convenient time for you and it will take five minutes, if that. Advice?
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I'm sorry, but I don't understand what topic you're asking advice on. Is it about whether to get the bathrobe back or not?
Author Royelle Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 Yes, sorry, but I guess I was asking for support in just cutting to the chase with him and getting the bathrobe back for closure, finally and forever. Which is all I can see there should or can be here.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Yes, sorry, but I guess I was asking for support in just cutting to the chase with him and getting the bathrobe back for closure, finally and forever. Which is all I can see there should or can be here. Wow, I was sort of jesting earlier - I didn't know all you really wanted was the bathrobe. So, is the bathrobe THAT important for you, to have it back? My guess is that it's not (and shouldn't be, unless it's diamond-studded). This is such a common ploy people use, to see their ex for "one last time". And hope that perhaps he/she will come around...and the relationship might have another chance...etc. But really, Royelle. If you want to talk to your ex again, then just go to his place and talk. But if you're really looking for closure, forget the bathrobe. Seeing him again won't give you closure. For that matter, nothing and nobody can give us closure. We have to create our own, and free ourselves of that itch to see/talk to them again.
Author Royelle Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 It's not a ploy and I don't want to talk to him or have any desire to go to his bachelor pad that would feel like part of the past and his world that I rejected. I think I said, I want closure. Believe me, if I could send someone else to get the robe, I would and I just might try asking my son in law, who gets along with everyone, everywhere. There is nothing left and hasn't been since Feb. Some items are important to us, diamond studs or just plain cloth. A special relative in my life gave it to me. I have a right to get what's mine back is all, especially since he said he had it washed and folded and good to go for me. But I think he must know the bathrobe is a last straw. Nothing else has worked, not favors, not declarations of love from him (that I did not return or feel). So he's most likely using this. And if it becomes a situation where I just can't get it back, well then, okay, screw it, have to let it go then. Altho, that totally sucks.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 It's not a ploy and I don't want to talk to him or have any desire to go to his bachelor pad that would feel like part of the past and his world that I rejected. I think I said, I want closure. Believe me, if I could send someone else to get the robe, I would and I just might try asking my son in law, who gets along with everyone, everywhere. There is nothing left and hasn't been since Feb. Some items are important to us, diamond studs or just plain cloth. A special relative in my life gave it to me. I have a right to get what's mine back is all, especially since he said he had it washed and folded and good to go for me. But I think he must know the bathrobe is a last straw. Nothing else has worked, not favors, not declarations of love from him (that I did not return or feel). So he's most likely using this. And if it becomes a situation where I just can't get it back, well then, okay, screw it, have to let it go then. Altho, that totally sucks. I see. It's him who's holding the bathrobe as an excuse to see you again. Well, he's told you that it's all ready to be picked up. You can drop by his place and pick it up yourself - but if you think it's likely that he might latch on to a conversation again, then send someone else. If your son-in-law agrees, that would work great. If you don't want to see him and your son-in-law can't make it either, then ask your ex to ship it to you. Send him a pre-paid packaging slip. That's just an off-beat idea, though.
Author Royelle Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 LOL, offbeat can work. I've heard of one gal who got divorced and the hubby wouldn't agree on the household item split. So the mother of the woman, who was a legal sect'y, sought help from one of the lawyers in the law office. The two of them laid everything that was to go to the husband out on a conference table and he got to bag up it all up under their watchful eyes. And he still squawked about a green crockpot, not even the kind with a removable server. But that was that and the end of the matter. Thank you, This__Too for caring and for your input.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 LOL, offbeat can work. I've heard of one gal who got divorced and the hubby wouldn't agree on the household item split. So the mother of the woman, who was a legal sect'y, sought help from one of the lawyers in the law office. The two of them laid everything that was to go to the husband out on a conference table and he got to bag up it all up under their watchful eyes. And he still squawked about a green crockpot, not even the kind with a removable server. But that was that and the end of the matter. That's funny.. Thank you, This__Too for caring and for your input. No problem...and good luck with everything!
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