sharp2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Sharp2007..ok world..now what I'm about to write I feel is the most difficult thing I have had to say so far in this forum and my blog. My daughter foolishly went on my ex's web page and there she found something that I can honestly say has hurt me more than absolutely anything possible..shes pregnant with his child..I am so ****ing pissed off you won't believe..I mean that beyond doubt..what she wrote on her website has yet again put the knife in but this time has killed me..I mean that..how could she do this to me??????? answer me someone..........I so loved her, but now I feel anger and that is turning to such hate..which is not me..she is pregnant again, yet in April of this year she said she would never let herself become pregnant again due to the abortion she had in February. She has lied to me so many times, I so hate her, I really do..I loved her with my very soul, but she has taken that trust, that love and broken me..why??????? I helped her through so much, I gave her a home, I looked after her kids and treated them as my own, I gave her my undying love, I gave her everything of me, I gave her OUR CHILD....but she killed everything........ I feel so sick..I feel so used..I feel rotten to the core..I feel disgusted with myself..because I was so taken in with her, when in reality she took me for a complete utter twat. why is it..now tell me this world, do women accept men who treat them with disrespect, yet when they find someone who respects them and loves them as they have always wished, they can't handle it and then return to the nightmare they came from???????? and then get pregnant again with a man whom they find physically and mentally disgusting.......her own words, not mine..........
Enema Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Why are you still wasting so much time and emotional energy on this woman? Pull yourself together and banish her from your life and mind. Forget this post and don't look back.
funkybassplayer Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Sharp2007..ok world..now what I'm about to write I feel is the most difficult thing I have had to say so far in this forum and my blog..whyislostlovesopainful.bogspot.com..my daughter foolishly went on my ex's web page and there she found something that I can honestly say has hurt me more than absolutely anything possible..shes pregnant with his child..I am so ****ing pissed off you won't believe..I mean that beyond doubt..what she wrote on her website has yet again put the knife in but this time has killed me..I mean that..how could she do this to me??????? answer me someone..........I so loved her, but now I feel anger and that is turning to such hate..which is not me..she is pregnant again, yet in April of this year she said she would never let herself become pregnant again due to the abortion she had in February. She has lied to me so many times, I so hate her, I really do..I loved her with my very soul, but she has taken that trust, that love and broken me..why??????? I helped her through so much, I gave her a home, I looked after her kids and treated them as my own, I gave her my undying love, I gave her everything of me, I gave her OUR CHILD....but she killed everything........ I feel so sick..I feel so used..I feel rotten to the core..I feel disgusted with myself..because I was so taken in with her, when in reality she took me for a complete utter twat. why is it..now tell me this world, do women accept men who treat them with disrespect, yet when they find someone who respects them and loves them as they have always wished, they can't handle it and then return to the nightmare they came from???????? and then get pregnant again with a man whom they find physically and mentally disgusting.......her own words, not mine.......... Hey man please dont suffer for her actions. You cant control what she does, but you can you. Listen its crap to find out stuff, but also maybe this can be the thing that will finally set you free from this crul and selfish woman. You did more than anyone possibly could, and she abandond you-SHE ABANDONED you. What i mean by this is you must try not to feel any bad emotions on your part, and see her for what she is. I think that now is the time to tataly let go of her, as you have had enough. You dont need to know or hear any more from this woman. You dont need to hear it when she will crawl back to you, coos you have to remember what she has done. Look dont drink, look after yourself in these days and post post post if you have to. I really mean this from the heart SHE IS NOT WORTH IT. dont take that as a disrespect to your feelings, but she is ****ed up, and her and her good for nothing lard arse hubby deserve each other. You my freind deserve better.
LakesideDream Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 You gotta admit, she's sending clear messages! Sad for you for sure. Say... is this guy a construction worker? Just curious.
sharp2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 no..he most certainly is not..he hasn't got the balls.........!
sharp2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Hey man please dont suffer for her actions. You cant control what she does, but you can you. Listen its crap to find out stuff, but also maybe this can be the thing that will finally set you free from this crul and selfish woman. You did more than anyone possibly could, and she abandond you-SHE ABANDONED you. What i mean by this is you must try not to feel any bad emotions on your part, and see her for what she is. I think that now is the time to tataly let go of her, as you have had enough. You dont need to know or hear any more from this woman. You dont need to hear it when she will crawl back to you, coos you have to remember what she has done. Look dont drink, look after yourself in these days and post post post if you have to. I really mean this from the heart SHE IS NOT WORTH IT. dont take that as a disrespect to your feelings, but she is ****ed up, and her and her good for nothing lard arse hubby deserve each other. You my freind deserve better. Thankyou Funky...you take care mate..I'm just so numb at the moment..it will pass though..
sharp2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Why are you still wasting so much time and emotional energy on this woman? Pull yourself together and banish her from your life and mind. Forget this post and don't look back. I most certainly will...but it will take alittle time..thankyou for your comment...
horizonsend Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I read your blog and it was a long and very sad story. I know how hard it is to move on as I am going through a messy break up myself right now, but you must know by now that any further contact with her is only going to end up the same as it has been so far, or worse. She obviously has no idea what she wants and your life will be much simpler and easier without her. It's advice I'm trying to take myself too.
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I read your blog and it was a long and very sad story. I know how hard it is to move on as I am going through a messy break up myself right now, but you must know by now that any further contact with her is only going to end up the same as it has been so far, or worse. She obviously has no idea what she wants and your life will be much simpler and easier without her. It's advice I'm trying to take myself too. Hi, thankyou for your comments..well there is no way I will ever contact her again, if she contacts me...I doubt that..but if she does..no..I will not be here..period..I will go forward and I will be happy?.. I hope your situation improves and you too find happiness..
Cobra_X30 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Hey Sharp, You seem like a nice guy. I wouldnt waste any more time with this girl. Hate is a very helpfull emotion... its going to help you stay away from this chick. Also, I hope you learn that it really doenst benefit you to be "nice". I've never met a girl that really respects that...
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Hey Sharp, You seem like a nice guy. I wouldnt waste any more time with this girl. Hate is a very helpfull emotion... its going to help you stay away from this chick. Also, I hope you learn that it really doenst benefit you to be "nice". I've never met a girl that really respects that... Hi there..yeah 'nice'..your so right on that..you hit the nail on the head..the problem with me is quite frankly that..maybe I am to nice for my own good..see I respect a woman and when I say I love her I so mean it,love is not a word to be said lightly.. but I don't crowd her..in a relationship to have your own space is healthy..you know the old saying 'treat them mean,keep them keen'...but thats not me and never will be..so I suppose thats me forever without love..
funkybassplayer Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Hi there..yeah 'nice'..your so right on that..you hit the nail on the head..the problem with me is quite frankly that..maybe I am to nice for my own good..see I respect a woman and when I say I love her I so mean it,love is not a word to be said lightly.. but I don't crowd her..in a relationship to have your own space is healthy..you know the old saying 'treat them mean,keep them keen'...but thats not me and never will be..so I suppose thats me forever without love.. Im like you, treat people and women with respect, but you know what they say.....opposites attract!! anyway i cant change me any more than you can change you, and one day (hopefully ) we will hit the jackpot, and i have a few times, but never worked out! What i have learned is that the ones who like the mean type like drama and creat it too, and thats not a road i would like to go down again, with a self centerd selfish drama queen.
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Im like you, treat people and women with respect, but you know what they say.....opposites attract!! anyway i cant change me any more than you can change you, and one day (hopefully ) we will hit the jackpot, and i have a few times, but never worked out! What i have learned is that the ones who like the mean type like drama and creat it too, and thats not a road i would like to go down again, with a self centerd selfish drama queen. yeah you could be right on that Funky..but then again I stayed with her when deep down I wasn't happy...she was making me ill, I lost so much weight, I lost my dignity..well nearly all of it..so respect..yeah..a little word but in reality what does it mean..it means how we look and feel towards another human being, I respected her because I loved her and I believed she would never hurt me...because when your in love with someone you place your very being into them..you give them everything and then when they turn on you and for no reason reject you..it so f**king hurts..
funkybassplayer Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 yeah you could be right on that Funky..but then again I stayed with her when deep down I wasn't happy...she was making me ill, I lost so much weight, I lost my dignity..well nearly all of it..so respect..yeah..a little word but in reality what does it mean..it means how we look and feel towards another human being, I respected her because I loved her and I believed she would never hurt me...because when your in love with someone you place your very being into them..you give them everything and then when they turn on you and for no reason reject you..it so f**king hurts.. I know it does mate, and no one can ever blame you for being in love, most of all you. It was how you felt towards her, but at the end of the day, its not a life that she wanted, and no amount of love from anyone could have made a difference to her.
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I know it does mate, and no one can ever blame you for being in love, most of all you. It was how you felt towards her, but at the end of the day, its not a life that she wanted, and no amount of love from anyone could have made a difference to her. but Funky I'm sorry but you are so wrong..she wanted that life with me so much..she did..god I know she did..we sat one night in the bath together..can't believe I'm saying this..but she said..S**** I have never been able to talk to anyone as I can with you, you are so special to me, I love you so much, I want to grow old with you, no one else..
Cobra_X30 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 yeah you could be right on that Funky..but then again I stayed with her when deep down I wasn't happy...she was making me ill, I lost so much weight, I lost my dignity..well nearly all of it..so respect..yeah..a little word but in reality what does it mean..it means how we look and feel towards another human being, I respected her because I loved her and I believed she would never hurt me...because when your in love with someone you place your very being into them..you give them everything and then when they turn on you and for no reason reject you..it so f**king hurts.. Well, It sounds to me less like you loved her than you had an emotional addiction to her. It takes a lot of work to be able to understand the difference there. I think you can search all your life for a girl that wont walk all over you if your nice. I'm sure that there is one out there... but you may be looking for a long bloody time. You dont have to be mean... you just have show that your strong. Show her that she cant walk all over you. Think, the last 10,000 years of human history, how did men treat women? Back in the day she would be stoked to land a guy that didnt hand out daily beatings. Perhaps your fighting genetic tendencies.
funkybassplayer Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 but Funky I'm sorry but you are so wrong..she wanted that life with me so much..she did..god I know she did..we sat one night in the bath together..can't believe I'm saying this..but she said..S**** I have never been able to talk to anyone as I can with you, you are so special to me, I love you so much, I want to grow old with you, no one else.. Look mate , please dont take this the wrong way, but yes she did then, but now she doe'nt, thats why shes pregnant again with the losers kid, once again he has claimed another few years from her life bringing up his kid. Your in denail at the moment, and no one is doughting that at one time its what she wanted, but no now, and if she does again, do you want to go there again? only this time with another one of her kids thrown into the mix? Its time to let her go.
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Well, It sounds to me less like you loved her than you had an emotional addiction to her. It takes a lot of work to be able to understand the difference there. I think you can search all your life for a girl that wont walk all over you if your nice. I'm sure that there is one out there... but you may be looking for a long bloody time. You dont have to be mean... you just have show that your strong. Show her that she cant walk all over you. Think, the last 10,000 years of human history, how did men treat women? Back in the day she would be stoked to land a guy that didnt hand out daily beatings. Perhaps your fighting genetic tendencies. hey..I loved her ok..and with love comes emotion..nothing wrong in that..because love is the most powerful emotion possible..I'm a strong person..my god I saved a guys life once so I know how to be strong...because I am..I placed my life before his..I have never told anyone this before...but I'm a little pi**ed so who cares...
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Look mate , please dont take this the wrong way, but yes she did then, but now she doe'nt, thats why shes pregnant again with the losers kid, once again he has claimed another few years from her life bringing up his kid. Your in denail at the moment, and no one is doughting that at one time its what she wanted, but no now, and if she does again, do you want to go there again? only this time with another one of her kids thrown into the mix? Its time to let her go. yeah..I know that..I feel so s*it you wouldn't believe, but there is no way on this earth would I ever take her back...never..I'm a loser.. a complete fool.. but there we go..sorry..I'm just alittle upset at the moment..but that will pass..you know, like you, I am a decent guy and maybe one day I will find someone who will love me for me and I can love her for her...
funkybassplayer Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 yeah..I know that..I feel so s*it you wouldn't believe, but there is no way on this earth would I ever take her back...never..I'm a loser.. a complete fool.. but there we go..sorry..I'm just alittle upset at the moment..but that will pass..you know, like you, I am a decent guy and maybe one day I will find someone who will love me for me and I can love her for her... Your not the loser, she is. And belive me i know what it feels like to lose a family that you love, its what happened to me, you invest so much of yourself, cos its not just her, but the kids as well, but what i know now is never get involved with a seperated woman, cos their is only 1 reason why they are not divorced, and thats b/c they dont want to, or they are not ready to let go, and its been 4 months now since the split, and only now im getting my head back and its coming back in a big way. I feel that i have learnt so much from my loss, as you will, but most of all, i know that she was not ready for me, and what i had to offer. What i had to offer was everything that a man could, but to do that she would have had to give up her old and complicated life, but she was'nt ready, no so shes started again with a new guy who at the moment (and as far as i know) wont ask her to give up her old life, but from the one thing i saw of him hes a controller. I know she would never have made me happy, cos she cant. Just like your lady, she cant give up her old life cos she has'nt got the guts too. And never will so the best thing we can do is look after us. You know the one thing she never took from me was my strenth, and i as you are took the hard rought back and one that involves pain only so i can feel out all this crap, and so i can give to me, not to another woman, and also not take from another woman. I dont hate my ex, in fact i would love to be friends, but what will be will be. In 4 months this place (ls) has been my rock, a great place to vent and meet people like you, and to share my crap with others. But its worked, i dont wake up cryin or sulking, instead i feel happy for her and the kids, and i have learnt so much, and am much fitter too. From day 1 i made sure that i never drank, did sit ups and press ups, and got my self a life coach who has shared secrets of her and my issues, and has helped me to know what the hell was going on. The result, right now, i can sit at home, knowing that her and her new guy are proberbly away on hol, and wish them well, cos at the end of the day mate, what the hell else can we do? We did all we could, we did our best, and we make mistaks, but we have to forgive ourselves, cos we are only human. I like you supported her through all her ****, and took the blame for alot too, but i got close to her as you did, and she got scared. We cant do anything now but move on with our lifes, and if i can make a little suggestion, try not to drink too much, it will make you feel worse, look after your body, cos right now that has to look after your head, until your head is in a better place again. You gotta be really strong now, stronger than you have been ever b4 cos this is it, this is where you really have to let her go once and for all, and its where you have to start to give to you, to put you first, and to do whats right for you, and no one else.
Cobra_X30 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 hey..I loved her ok..and with love comes emotion..nothing wrong in that..because love is the most powerful emotion possible..I'm a strong person..my god I saved a guys life once so I know how to be strong...because I am..I placed my life before his..I have never told anyone this before...but I'm a little pi**ed so who cares... Im not here to bash you or bring you down bro. I just want you to understand that love is more than an emotion. It sounds like you do... Im really sorry this girl hurt you like that. It isnt fair, and I hope its something you never have to go through again. I go way out of my way to protect myself from pain like this. I'm not advocating that you get as emotionally guarded as me. I also dont mean to suggest your some kind of wimp. I've seen guys that are in your face aggressive in every aspect of thier lives and let thier women walk on them. Maybe that happened to you, maybe not. It sounds like you gave this woman everything... and she just took it and used it. Thats what it sounds like to me. Anyway... just take care of you. Her ship is going to sink someday.
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Your not the loser, she is. And belive me i know what it feels like to lose a family that you love, its what happened to me, you invest so much of yourself, cos its not just her, but the kids as well, but what i know now is never get involved with a seperated woman, cos their is only 1 reason why they are not divorced, and thats b/c they dont want to, or they are not ready to let go, and its been 4 months now since the split, and only now im getting my head back and its coming back in a big way. I feel that i have learnt so much from my loss, as you will, but most of all, i know that she was not ready for me, and what i had to offer. What i had to offer was everything that a man could, but to do that she would have had to give up her old and complicated life, but she was'nt ready, no so shes started again with a new guy who at the moment (and as far as i know) wont ask her to give up her old life, but from the one thing i saw of him hes a controller. I know she would never have made me happy, cos she cant. Just like your lady, she cant give up her old life cos she has'nt got the guts too. And never will so the best thing we can do is look after us. You know the one thing she never took from me was my strenth, and i as you are took the hard rought back and one that involves pain only so i can feel out all this crap, and so i can give to me, not to another woman, and also not take from another woman. I dont hate my ex, in fact i would love to be friends, but what will be will be. In 4 months this place (ls) has been my rock, a great place to vent and meet people like you, and to share my crap with others. But its worked, i dont wake up cryin or sulking, instead i feel happy for her and the kids, and i have learnt so much, and am much fitter too. From day 1 i made sure that i never drank, did sit ups and press ups, and got my self a life coach who has shared secrets of her and my issues, and has helped me to know what the hell was going on. The result, right now, i can sit at home, knowing that her and her new guy are proberbly away on hol, and wish them well, cos at the end of the day mate, what the hell else can we do? We did all we could, we did our best, and we make mistaks, but we have to forgive ourselves, cos we are only human. I like you supported her through all her ****, and took the blame for alot too, but i got close to her as you did, and she got scared. We cant do anything now but move on with our lifes, and if i can make a little suggestion, try not to drink too much, it will make you feel worse, look after your body, cos right now that has to look after your head, until your head is in a better place again. You gotta be really strong now, stronger than you have been ever b4 cos this is it, this is where you really have to let her go once and for all, and its where you have to start to give to you, to put you first, and to do whats right for you, and no one else. I know that..and I'm ok physically, I keep myself fit I do alot of exercise..weights..cycling..running etc...hey six pack to be totally honest...oh dear..its just the emotional side.. I'm so f***ked up with..I'm not ready to be sectioned far from it..but I know what its like to feel so depressed..believe me when I say that ok..I've been there before..drinking..well thats another subject..no I'm not a p*** head but it helps me sometimes and yes I am stopping..I know I have to, but I'm talking off only a few glasses..not bottle after bottle..how do you think I can write this!!! you seem a great bloke..I'm sure she loved you mate..you will find someone else..but don't go looking..its surprising how someone just appears!..maybe..
sharp2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Im not here to bash you or bring you down bro. I just want you to understand that love is more than an emotion. It sounds like you do... Im really sorry this girl hurt you like that. It isnt fair, and I hope its something you never have to go through again. I go way out of my way to protect myself from pain like this. I'm not advocating that you get as emotionally guarded as me. I also dont mean to suggest your some kind of wimp. I've seen guys that are in your face aggressive in every aspect of thier lives and let thier women walk on them. Maybe that happened to you, maybe not. It sounds like you gave this woman everything... and she just took it and used it. Thats what it sounds like to me. Anyway... just take care of you. Her ship is going to sink someday. yeah..well maybe one day she will sink..but to me she has already sunk..thanks for your comments..hope your life goes well...
funkybassplayer Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I know that..and I'm ok physically, I keep myself fit I do alot of exercise..weights..cycling..running etc...hey six pack to be totally honest...oh dear..its just the emotional side.. I'm so f***ked up with..I'm not ready to be sectioned far from it..but I know what its like to feel so depressed..believe me when I say that ok..I've been there before..drinking..well thats another subject..no I'm not a p*** head but it helps me sometimes and yes I am stopping..I know I have to, but I'm talking off only a few glasses..not bottle after bottle..how do you think I can write this!!! you seem a great bloke..I'm sure she loved you mate..you will find someone else..but don't go looking..its surprising how someone just appears!..maybe.. YEah you know what, im not even bothered about a girl at the mo, cos in a way, just being me is kinda cool, and not having to take the brunt of her crap, well im thinking, god im better off outa it!! i mean if she even wanted to talk about a divorce that would have been a killer to go through with her, as she wont carry the emotions-i would, and then theres the house, id have to give him 25k to buy him out, and her 3 lost kids, and her with a truck full of issues! God! But i would have stuck it i guess. I went on a dating site and started chatting, but soon felt that its not what i want right now. My ex must have been banging on the keyboard on the day we split, if not b4! MAkes me laugh really at how scared she is to be on her own, and what does that say about a future?? Well im workin on the 6 pack! but not to worried if it never comes, but i got my belly flat and thats cool! I think she loved me, and sometimes is this phycologhyst guy says, her silence means just that, like why won't she acknolage a buissness email to do with money i owe her? cos its like getting in my head by saying nothing, rather than just say ok fine. If you know what i mean. Anyway whatever, it does'nt matter anyway. Its my spelling that bothers me, i want to work on that. I was thinking that your s is good considering you've had a few!!!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 yeah..well maybe one day she will sink..but to me she has already sunk..thanks for your comments..hope your life goes well... LOL... good thing your not still on that ship! Dont worry about me, I'm enough of an A**hole that Ill always be fine. BTW, Its not often that you have I have the opportunity to say this to someone. I think your a HERO. Its a rare kind of person who steps up and puts thier life on the line when the chips are down!
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