Athlette Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Howdy all, Instead of being a lurker, thought I'd post up my own story in the spirit of sharing. We'd been together for almost 3 years and pretty much broke up about 2 months ago. It was a very gradual breakup, which made it tough. It didn't really become final in my eyes until the last two weeks. It was a wonderful relationship for the most part, except that it was difficult for him to discuss marriage. I got fed up and in February, I pretty much decided to end things with him. He wanted me back, begged and pleaded and went to counseling. I went back to him in April and May and he was wonderful to me. He was caring and kind and talked often of our future, but there was something inside me that still couldn't accept him back fully. It was a difficult time for him and finally in June, he decided he'd then had enough and initiated the break up process. Now it's my turn to be devestated. I was in complete denial that we were over. We have been spending time together, but two nights ago, I had had a little too much to drink. We were at my house and I begged him to stay, just lay with me in bed. He grudgingly did so after much pathetic and hysterical crying and sobbing. I asked him for a second chance. I just want some time to make up for the two months that I turned him away. There are so many things that I see clearly now about my attitudes and actions during our time together that I wish for one more chance to make it right. Just a minute ago, I sent him a text apologizing for my irrational behavior Friday night. I still want a second chance, but I realize that my groveling and pathetic hysterics only succeed in driving him away. I've decided that I will not call or e-mail him for the time being. He said that he was very uncomfortable with the notion of giving it another go but would think about it. He's going away on a long trip and will contact me when he gets back with his thoughts. Who knows where this will go. So many emotions run through me, the most poignant of which is guilt for my behavior in April and May that drove him away. I keep believing that if I could only turn back time, it would be different. I feel so devestated by my own behavior Friday night, I wish I could take that back as well. I suppose all we can do now is move on.
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