beangirl46 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I've been severely infatuated since February. But I want and need to snap out of it! Because the guy doesn't deserve it, and because I'm not at a point where I can handle a guy or this kind of infatuation in my life!! In a nutshell, the guy's not a good guy for me. I don't even know how to begin to explain-- but he asks me about other women and keeps saying he values my insight so much and that I make him a better man and that I have opened his eyes to the fact he wants real love, but he also says he only wants to be friends. This is all over email. We only met 3 times in February and once at an event in July. When I first met him, he was really, really attracted to me, and we got carried away and hooked up once. But why, if he's not good for me, do I fantasize about him??? And why am I draw to email him so much? These past few months, I've been so busy with work and work stresses that I haven't had much time to socialize. So emailing him has been my only outlet, and it's been an unhealthy one. And now, SO many months have passed, and I can't believe I've been infatuated for this long, fantasizing about him for this long, and emailing him for this long. And taking out my work stress by communicating with him. It's very unhealthy, but I can't stop!!! He's playing games! Why is this happening? What should I do?
jcster Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I've been so busy with work and work stresses that I haven't had much time to socialize. So emailing him has been my only outlet, and it's been an unhealthy one. I think you answered your question! If you can manage to decrease your stress level and find another, more healthy outlet, then you will lose your obsession. Don't let your job ruin your private life - it's not worth it.
Author beangirl46 Posted August 12, 2007 Author Posted August 12, 2007 Thanks so much Jcster! I see you're from the SF Bay Area. That's where he is too, and where I'm going back to soon. I feel mildly sick b/c he's showed me the friendster profile of a woman he wants to date, who is eerily like me in her interests. But she also happens to be a model! He asks me about her, and I've been so dumb and encouraged him to go for her. He asks me what to say to her, and then copies me verbatim. He keeps asking me about her and about how to create a relationship, and I keep giving him advice! Then he keeps saying he's so thankful for the advice and how great my advice is. And he's just using me, and I'm so obsessed that I've been letting it happen!!!
fray718 Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I'm also from the bay area haha...well i must say beangirl how much more pain can you inflict on yourself! You're helping him purse another girl!??!?!? You poor thing!! If I were you, I'd either just stop contact with him or straight out tell him that 'look, I know I've been encouraging you to pursue other girls before but now Im going to stop doing that because im not happy doing it...if you really want to be nothing more than just friends, then im sorry i cant do that because I need to move on." This way, he knows how u feel and yes you are making yourself vulnerable but at least u can cut him off without regrets. Either he sees how much of an ass he has been to u and wakes up...or not. If not, well u really are better off not having him in your life in any way.
Trialbyfire Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Human nature dictates that you want what you can't have although hopefully, self-protection in your human instincts will over-ride this sooner or later and say no thanks to being poorly treated, intended or not. Walk away from this one. If he wants you, he knows where to find you.
Author beangirl46 Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 Thanks everyone. I'm walking away. I've officially walked away today-- we haven't even emailed once. If he wants me, he knows where to find me. Thanks again!
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