mspikes Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I know that to have a really good relationship with another person, it takes time, paitence, and a willingness to compromise. I'm currently in a situation with a guy where we were dating for 6 full months, going strong, but we're now taking a little bit of a break from each other. There are many details that play into that situation... and I'm not asking for advice on it... if you wanna see the story, see my other post... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t126074/ My question to all of you is when you begin a new relationship with someone (not a fling, not a rebound), what is it you feel you need to have in place or the frame of mind you might feel you need to be in to really be able to contribute fully to your relationship?
Krytellan Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 That it is a compliment to your life, not a substitution. You have to have just enough of the "don't care" attitude to be able to go on with your own life in conjunction with the relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My question to all of you is when you begin a new relationship with someone (not a fling, not a rebound), what is it you feel you need to have in place or the frame of mind you might feel you need to be in to really be able to contribute fully to your relationship? Firstly, I need someone who's physically and emotionally present. My state of mind must be emotionally receptive but strong and independent. What I've noticed through an epiphany moment yesterday that I seem to be drawn to players. Never thought so before but in hindsight, apparently so.
squeak Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 What brought you to that conclusion? Or what traits had you been drawn to that made you later realize those were player traits?
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 To narrow it right down to core, it's the emotionally unavailable, which starts off with a pretence of full on commitment. Perhaps that's why my partner ejecto seat gets constant use. Who knows, maybe I'm emotionally unavailable as well. I'm not certain at this point because I'm still self-evaluating.
Author mspikes Posted August 11, 2007 Author Posted August 11, 2007 Thanks for your honest answer. I'm trying to do the same thing myself with this "break" that HE asked for... but, like I said there's much more that plays a part in this. We placed a time period of one month on it... and I'm halfway through it. I'm trying to look more inside myself... I don't think of myself as being "needy" but, it's just hard for me to just walk away from my current situation, and take a "f it" attitude when it comes to a relationship that feels sooo good.
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Sooner or later you will get to your threshold of bad behaviour tolerance, regardless of how the good times offset the bad times. When this happens, you will find the strength to move on.
underpants Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Sooner or later you will get to your threshold of bad behaviour tolerance, regardless of how the good times offset the bad times. When this happens, you will find the strength to move on. So true. Have a great date TBF. Take a condom and a sense of humor. Just to start off.
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Thanks unders. I will...for all the above, although he's not exactly a dewy-eyed individual so he's probably packing...
JamesM Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I would guess that if you just left a relationship, then before you start a new one, you need to be done with the last one. And by that I mean your ex should not be who you are thinking of when you date a new guy. I remember when My wife and I broke up while we were dating that she had a date with another guy. During that date she called him by my name when talking to him. And when they went to some place, she wished that she could share it with me. Obviously, she was not ready to date during this time. But I guess for me it served its purpose...she realized that maybe I was kinda important to her.
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