IWALH Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Oh yeah, I should add something he said to his wife's best friend once. His w told me this and when I asked him if he did, in fact, say that he said no and that I could go ahead and call his wife's friend because it wasn't true. His wife told me I could call her to see that it WAS true. Oy!! Anyway, he said to her that he was never going to be taking that ring off again. And this wasn't too far after he DID take his ring off when he came to my hotel and SLEPT with me!!! Not to mention that whole awful ordeal when they all came down here... On a semi-related note, he told me he was getting his wife a generic birthday card for her birthday (the day we all hung out at a pool together) but SHE told me he got her this really thoughtful elaborate card talking about how she was his best friend and meant everything to him, etc etc. On the same morning (of her birthday) he CAME TO MY HOTEL ROOM AND SLEPT WITH ME!!!! On her BIRTHDAY!!!! He was totally living a double life and it's sh*t like this that made me realize what a fu*king phony he was. He said "why didn't you listen to me?" blah blah blah. Because you were fu*king lying!!!! WTF?!?! Oh yeah, it's ALL because he was an alcoholic. Sure. Because he drank a lot that makes it all excusable in her eyes. Yes, people who are alcoholics do awful things but they still need to HOLD THEMSELVES accountable. He lied to her throughout the course of their marriage but lied to her about LYING to her and she BELIEVES and TRUSTS him. I just want to smack some sense into her sometimes. I liked her and all, but he BLATANTLY lied to her and treated her like crap, but she keeps making excuses for him!! Sorry for ranting, I am having one of those bitter days today. I'm done.
Hurt & Alone Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Sorry for ranting, I am having one of those bitter days today. I'm done. Sorry you are having a bad day. Any constilation to you, so am I.
mopar crazy Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 my MM lost his ring on the golf course. i guess the ring flew off when he swung! LOL Huh? How did he manage that? I golf. My hands don't leave the shaft when I swing so there is no way I could lose a ring by swinging the club. Did he accidentally loose his grip?
mopar crazy Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Oh yeah, I should add something he said to his wife's best friend once. His w told me this and when I asked him if he did, in fact, say that he said no and that I could go ahead and call his wife's friend because it wasn't true. His wife told me I could call her to see that it WAS true. Oy!! Anyway, he said to her that he was never going to be taking that ring off again. And this wasn't too far after he DID take his ring off when he came to my hotel and SLEPT with me!!! Not to mention that whole awful ordeal when they all came down here... On a semi-related note, he told me he was getting his wife a generic birthday card for her birthday (the day we all hung out at a pool together) but SHE told me he got her this really thoughtful elaborate card talking about how she was his best friend and meant everything to him, etc etc. On the same morning (of her birthday) he CAME TO MY HOTEL ROOM AND SLEPT WITH ME!!!! On her BIRTHDAY!!!! He was totally living a double life and it's sh*t like this that made me realize what a fu*king phony he was. He said "why didn't you listen to me?" blah blah blah. Because you were fu*king lying!!!! WTF?!?! Oh yeah, it's ALL because he was an alcoholic. Sure. Because he drank a lot that makes it all excusable in her eyes. Yes, people who are alcoholics do awful things but they still need to HOLD THEMSELVES accountable. He lied to her throughout the course of their marriage but lied to her about LYING to her and she BELIEVES and TRUSTS him. I just want to smack some sense into her sometimes. I liked her and all, but he BLATANTLY lied to her and treated her like crap, but she keeps making excuses for him!! Sorry for ranting, I am having one of those bitter days today. I'm done. What an *******! He came and slept w/ you on his W's birthday? Did you know it was her bday? If so, why did you do that? Drunk or not you could of said no yourself dear.
PoshPrincess Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 This is a VERY unusual situation....my exMM always wore his wedding ring (or what I assumed to be his wedding ring). We were chatting about it one day (can't even remember why now) and it turned out that it wasn't actually his wedding ring. He had been given the ring by his first girlfriend but had always worn it on his wedding finger, even after marrying. VERY bizarre! Wonder if they used it for a wedding ring during the ceremony! My Dad NEVER wore a wedding ring and always professed it was because he didn't like wearing jewellery. However, he wears one now he is with someone else and they aren't even married! More to the point, when he first started wearing it him and my Mum hadn't even divorced! Nice kick in the teeth for my Mum, eh?! What a charmer.
fisherfool Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 During a portion of my married life I did not wear a wedding ring. During a portion I did. I found that more women would attempt to flirt and draw me when I was wearing the ring than when I was not. When I was not wearing a ring it seemed more that the women expected me to flirt with them. Sometimes it seemed a woman would be offended when I did not do so. I do not believe that women flirt with men who wear weddings ring because they feel safer. When a woman flirts with a man who is obviously wed it is indicative of their character.
target-d Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Why did you sometimes not wear a ring, were you trying to appear to be unmarried?
Tomcat33 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 A few weekends ago I was at a bar and I was with a group of friends and there was this guy that kept checking me out and I was him, he was totally cute. So the night went on and he came over to talk to me and we started talking he offered to buy me a drink and wanted to see me again but as he pulled out his wallet and was about to give me his business card I noticed he had a wedding band on and so I said, "wait a minute, what are you doing I never saw THAT?" and pointed at his ring. He then said, oh yeah yeah I know I know...and so I said are you kidding me? And he said look I just wanted to meet you for a drink again that's all I really enjoyed talking to you it's refershing to talk to someone who can actually carry and intelligent conversation that's all. I said "look save it" I don't know what you are after but I am definitely NOT interested. And I walked away...I was so mad! Mine only wore it at the beginning while he was still living at home. when he moved out I never saw it again. I never had to ask him to stop either.
nellstar Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 Huh? How did he manage that? I golf. My hands don't leave the shaft when I swing so there is no way I could lose a ring by swinging the club. Did he accidentally loose his grip? I have no idea. Didn't even ask him about the whole story. I will probably ask... should be a good story.. lol
Tomcat33 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I have no idea. Didn't even ask him about the whole story. I will probably ask... should be a good story.. lol Sounds more like for whatever reason the ring was in his pocket, and when he swung it slipped out ;-)
movinon05 Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 My dad never wore his ring. His work was quite messy. My exH never wore his ring. Said because of work, but now that I think of the work he did, I don't know why that would really apply. In any case, he only wore it when we went out to a fancy party or wedding or funeral. ExMM never wore his ring, also because of his profession. Although I've seen plenty of men in his profession wear one. But even when out, he never wore it. I'm not a jewelry person, so sometimes I wore it and sometimes I didn't. When we went out, I did. And, of course, the raging insanely jealous exMM was furious one time when we were all out and he saw me wearing it. He thought I was trying to tell him it was over. But I was just doing what I always did. I always put it on when I went out.
JamesM Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I don't doubt that a lot of men don't wear their rings because their jobs may cause damage to it or the ring may be a safety hazard. But I have found that many men who use this excuse...when I question them, actually CAN wear their rings. And as I said, when I ask why they don't wear it off duty, they usually give some vague answer such as "I forget to put it on" or "I know that I am married, so it isn't necessary." The ironic thing is that they expect their wives to wear their wedding bands. I guess it just amazes me that men spend so much money on a band that will tell the world that they found the right woman, and then they use every opportunity NOT to wear the ring. I know for me that having my ring on is definitely something that keeps me from flirting. Like Tomcat said, that ring becomes an embarrassment when a man does flirt with a woman. If the man who flirts is not wearing his ring, then he can keep that "secret" from the woman with whom he flirts. But if it is in plain view, then he needs to explain his behavior.
outofdarkness Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 My In Laws were married in The Episopal Church over 40 years ago, and he has never worn a ring..The story that I got was that in this church, the man was not 'required to wear one...I assume this has changed, or at least is optional..My H and I were married not only in the same denomination but the same CHURCH, and my H has always worn a ring..I guess my Father in Law really never wanted to idk... My second comment is that right before D day, my H told me a story about how he was at one of his offices and was playing w/ the ring, you know twirling it around as many of us do, and it fell off. By the time he reached his next destination; halfway across the country, he noticed it was missing and quickly had the receptionist at the original office over night it..I should have had an inkling that something was up then but was so used to 100 percent trust, that it never even entered my mind that he might be lieing about it.. Oh, and I had to take MY band off due to a finger injury that caused my whole left hand to swell..I could not get it back on..I do however, still wear my engagement and 10 year anniv. ring...just some thoughts...
nellstar Posted August 14, 2007 Posted August 14, 2007 Sounds more like for whatever reason the ring was in his pocket, and when he swung it slipped out ;-) LOL - that must be it! I will ask him how he managed to lose his wedding ring on the golf course.. I'll do that when I visit him end of this week!
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