BurriedAlive Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Something that Hurt&Alone said on another thread made me think about MM & wether or not they wore their wedding rings. My xMM didn't. He told me he stopped wearing it years ago because he hurt his finger (yeah right!). Anyway, do your MMs wear their rings? Do you know of any faithfull MM that don't wear their rings? I wonder if there is any correlation.....
norajane Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My dad has been faithful for 40 years and he's never worn a ring.
endless Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My MM stopped wearing his ring when he started to have strong feeling for me and about the same time he started planing to leave. When his W asked about it, he said he forget to wear it and would wear it for that day then took it off the day after until she asked him again. The story changed after D day though. I probably will not find out because we don't see each other and don't even talk about that stuff but I am pretty sure he wear his ring everyday now. Good for him!!!
IWALH Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My xMM was sick in the head. During our initial "affair" he never wore his ring when he was with me. Then when he came and saw me (during our second "affair") the couple times I went up there without his w knowing he took it off again. But the big indent and tan line were still there. When they were all down here he wore his ring, of course. Which was REALLY weird when I slept with him because I had never slept with him before while he was wearing a ring. It was just..... too weird for me. I don't know why.... well, the WHOLE SITUATION was too weird... and as time goes on I get more and more sick to my stomach when I think about it....
Hurt & Alone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 They had been married so long that he did not need to prove to anyone he was married, he stated he was not even sure where it was. I also think he said his W didnt wear hers anymore either. While I was married, I never took mine off, or at least the band part of it.
Hurt & Alone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 As far as the others that I know are married and do not wear thier rings, they are involved in A. I know this for a fact.
GreenEyedLady Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Mine did not wear a ring...He told me he was divorced...
itgirl Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My MM doesn't wear his wedding ring and hasn't done for years. Never asked him why! Wouldn't bother me if he started wearing it either.
mopar crazy Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My H, dad, and my brother don't usually wear their wedding rings b/c of their jobs, it's a safety reason.
GreenEyedLady Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 My H, dad, and my brother don't usually wear their wedding rings b/c of their jobs, it's a safety reason. I'm sorry, this is like one of the biggest excuses in the book...It's what my MM tells his W, too...
RealityCheck Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I'm sorry, this is like one of the biggest excuses in the book...It's what my MM tells his W, too... Ho-ly! No kidding! I used the excuse because I write alot and said my finger swelled. I wasn't even cheating! It was because the ring felt worthless...meant nothing!
JamesM Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 For the past year, I did not wear a ring because I had bent it. I do not know why I never raced out to get it fixed. My wife rarely noticed I had it off. I can truthfully say that I do not remember getting any more flirtatious glances without it than with it. Now I have it on again. I can say that once it is on, it is never noticed on me. Yet, the thought that I have it on when I look at a woman. The thought that if I cheated, then I have to take it off DOES make me stop and think. And the thought of keeping it on while I cheated makes me guilty, embarrassed and sick. My H, dad, and my brother don't usually wear their wedding rings b/c of their jobs, it's a safety reason. I cannot think of ANY other excuse that men us that is considered respectable. Even mine..."my ring is bent," is less acceptable. I can say that this is the most common excuse I have ever heard. I am not sure that there is another excuse used, is there? Sometimes I hear the "I took it off to wash my hands" excuse, but this is unusual. And my question to the man that uses it, "why don't you have it on now? You are not working and you are out with your wife?" Personally, I do take mine off when I lift weights, because I could damage the ring or pinch my fingers, but the ring goes back on when I am done. And another question I ask is..."Do you mind if your wife no longer wears hers?" Rarely does a man think that his wife should have the same privilege...or freedom. There is no doubt that a man without a ring CAN if he so chooses, appear to be single or divorced and chase a woman. And a man who chooses to wear his ring definitely gives the impression that he is faithful to his wife.
Author BurriedAlive Posted August 11, 2007 Author Posted August 11, 2007 There is no doubt that a man without a ring CAN if he so chooses, appear to be single or divorced and chase a woman. And a man who chooses to wear his ring definitely gives the impression that he is faithful to his wife. I always love your posts, James. They are always very insightful and it's great to hear the other side's point of view. When I look at a man who wears a ring, I always get the impression that he is faithful - whether that's right or wrong. Perception is reality, I guess. I know when I was married I always wore my rings and I didn't quite feel right if I was out without them on (it only happened once for 1 day). I will say that in the case of my xMM, the fact that he didn't wear a ring, made it that much easier to "lock the world out" or more specifically, W, when we were together. I think it would have been different if there had been a shiny gold band staring me right in the face!
Hurt & Alone Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I will say that in the case of my xMM, the fact that he didn't wear a ring, made it that much easier to "lock the world out" or more specifically, W, when we were together. I think it would have been different if there had been a shiny gold band staring me right in the face! I couldn't agree with you more. Had my XMM wore a ring I think it would had me think harder each time we were together about what the hell I was doing, esp when he never had any intentions of leaving W (which i knew from the get-go, but never thought we would develop and feeling either).
JamesM Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Thank you, BA. I have heard that some women feel "safer" or "more comfortable" acting flirtatious with a man who has a ring on, because they feel that he will take them simply as being flirtatious and not expect that anything is being meant by it. Since he appears faithful, they assume he will stay faithful. Of course, I remember this waiter who I talked with whenever I ate at this restaurant say that when he wore a ring (even though he was not married), he was hit on continually. He said a ring was a "babe magnet." To this day I wonder what he meant and by whom...because I found out that he was gay. So, since he never knew that I knew he was gay, did he mean that WOMEN hit on him or did MEN hit on him? I never went to the clubs that he went to, so I don't know.
RealityCheck Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 Of course, I remember this waiter who I talked with whenever I ate at this restaurant say that when he wore a ring (even though he was not married), he was hit on continually. He said a ring was a "babe magnet." To this day I wonder what he meant and by whom...because I found out that he was gay. So, since he never knew that I knew he was gay, did he mean that WOMEN hit on him or did MEN hit on him? I never went to the clubs that he went to, so I don't know. I would think that if he was gay he was making reference to Men. I know gay men and that would more than likely be their thought process.
simplegirl Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 My MM doesn't wear a ring but they are not technically married. Might as well be but their not. His best friend doesn't wear his though and he's been married for a while. He has an OW too but the job excuse is what he uses.
mopar crazy Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I'm sorry, this is like one of the biggest excuses in the book...It's what my MM tells his W, too... In my H's, dad's and brothers case is not a excuse, it's the truth. My H's job you can not wear any jewlery. He works w/ metals. My brother is a mechanic. He can not wear rings b/c a part or a tool could catch on his ring causing injury. Same reason for my dad. It's even in my H employee handbook they can not wear any kind of jewlery, and this does include any rings. ETA: When they are not working they do wear their rings if they remember to put them on. A lot of times they don't wear them at home even.
CantCutitOff Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I'm sorry, this is like one of the biggest excuses in the book...It's what my MM tells his W, too... Yikes! I actually don't think it is an excuse depending on what they do. I work in a profession where a LOT of men that I work with are happily married and don't wear rings... it can put their families at serious risk if the people they interact with on a daily basis know that the guy has a family! That said, my xMM didn't wear one but I never thought much of it. I work with him, and as I just said, most of the guys I know - happily married or not - don't.
justice Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 My MM stopped wearing his ring when he started to have strong feeling for me and about the same time he started planing to leave. When his W asked about it, he said he forget to wear it and would wear it for that day then took it off the day after until she asked him again. The story changed after D day though. I probably will not find out because we don't see each other and don't even talk about that stuff but I am pretty sure he wear his ring everyday now. Good for him!!! They can take it off but that doesn't change the fact that they are still married. Would it bother you if he wore it or not? Just a simple question. My ex H did the same thing with his OW at the time, kinda strange isn't it? You know know even though we are divorced, every time I've seen him he's been wearing it. I donated my rings from him to charity. Couldn't bear to wear them anymore since our M evidently meant nothing to him, if he could cheat on me like he did.
NoIDidn't Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 My H and I didn't wear rings for years. Mainly because the skinny people we were no longer existed. We both had the mindset that with or without the rings, WE knew we were married. And that was all that mattered. I didn't think that Mopar's relatives reason for not wearing their rings was an excuse. Most men in my family except my H work in jobs where they could lose that finger behind having on that ring. They also work long hours and have extremely dirty hands by the end of the day. Its easy to forget to put the ring back on after a long day. Plus after getting used to not wearing it under those circumstances, it just becomes habit to not wear it even when not working. I don't think wearing a wedding band/ring is a big deal. So long as the person that would have been wearing it knew their own marital status and respected that, what's the problem if they wear one or not? Should wearing the ring now be included in the vows? I hate jewelry. I wouldn't take such a vow. LOL.
Babybird Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 In my H's, dad's and brothers case is not a excuse, it's the truth. My H's job you can not wear any jewlery. He works w/ metals. My brother is a mechanic. He can not wear rings b/c a part or a tool could catch on his ring causing injury. Same reason for my dad. It's even in my H employee handbook they can not wear any kind of jewlery, and this does include any rings. ETA: When they are not working they do wear their rings if they remember to put them on. A lot of times they don't wear them at home even. When my MM was married neither him or his W wore their rings to work because it was against company policy because of the type of work they both did. She would wear hers after work but he didn't. It was too small and he never had it resized. I guess it never bothered her. But who knows.
nellstar Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 my MM lost his ring on the golf course. i guess the ring flew off when he swung! LOL
fisherfool Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 My H, dad, and my brother don't usually wear their wedding rings b/c of their jobs, it's a safety reason. Most men who work around active machinery do not wear wedding rings as the risk of damage is great.
woe_is_me Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 No...xmm never had a ring on .. he 'said' he'd lost it years ago.
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