h2ofrek Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 OK so Gunny and LSD have opened my eyes. I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I need to do to become a better man and I have defined where I need to improve. My definition of a good man: -Empathy: willingness to listen to others and understand our difference. -Emotional: able to stop, acknowledge that there is an issue attached to it, listne to self and follow that emotion to where ever it follows me. -Smart: capable of weighing facts and not jump to conclussions, but learn and make good decisions. -Brave: acknowledge the fears within and think through them to gain new, wider boundaries, yet stay humble. -Honest: realize that lying comes from my need to try to make reality fit my own fantasy. -Realistic: goes hand-in-hand with honesty. -Feminine: (how I understand it, but I am willing to listen to other definitions!) able to admit that I have powerful emotions and must be able to love, trust and share with others, and sometimes rely on them. Family Orientes: life is no longer about me but rather about me giving my children good examples to lead a healthy life by. Loving: attaching no guilt, debt, sympathy expectations, anything to the love I choose to give to others. Boundaries: honestly knowing what my limits are within relationships and living within them. Accomplishment Driven: acknowledge that I must keep learning and start congradulating myself when I do grow. Forgiving: able to express my feelings and not punish others or self. Human: I am not perfect, never striving for perfection, but always improving. These are on two index cards and I am reading them when I need to remind myself that I am called on to chsnge and even when I don't need to remind myself. I was talking with one of the 2 people I can confide in on board and he tld me that I am re-wiring my brain. Does anyone have any ideas on what I may have missed or mis-identified?
sao2 Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 This is such a great thing to do, I am not saying I agree with every point you make, but that isn't important. What is important is establishing a vision of who you want to be and striving for that. No one else can define who you want to be for you. That is something you must do for yourself. My only suggestion is perhaps you should be a tad more specific. For example rather than saying you want to be willing to listen, establish what that means to you. Establish specific situations in which you will have a specific response that involves being more attentive and listening. Good luck.
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