Jmina Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I have accepted that my ex and i will never be together again. But what i'm finding really hard and what really hurts is that i might have to live my life without her. I dont want to live my life without her! i do eventually want her as a friend. I want to at least be able to contact her occasionally to see how she is and to just let her know i care... the same way i treat other friends that i dont see often. i am a very loving person and my friends and family all know that i love them and i always show it. So how do i accept that we might not ever be friends? Its only been 3 months since it all happened ... I guess you never know what will happen in 3 years or 5 years down the track... Please help Jmina
LakesideDream Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Jmina, I felt that way for about an hour and a half, then the feeling began to fade, and that was after a 25 year marriage. The reality is that you will have to live your life without her. Lovers make lousey friends. I actually entertained the idea of being "friends" with my ex for a few months. What happened was that when her "interests" and mine began to divide. I can honestly say that I never asked for a thing from her after move out/D-day. I actually helped her move out into her new "security" apartment, (she thought I would stalk her! Like I wanted to see her with her boyfriend). When her car broke it was me she called, over and over. When she needed money (she had a great job, but spent lot's traveling to see her still married BF), I helped out. There was lots more. She even tried to get our adult daughter to help her swindle money out of me, straining the relationship with my daughter. One day I decided that I wasn't going to continue to contribute to her support.. guess what, she hated me from then on. That's generally what happens when there are no young children involved. In most cases, there is just no reason to be "friends". To much bloody water under the bridge. Give thanks that you are young. Life is a learning experiance. What you miss this week, you may not remember without prompting a year from now.
funkybassplayer Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I have accepted that my ex and i will never be together again. But what i'm finding really hard and what really hurts is that i might have to live my life without her. I dont want to live my life without her! i do eventually want her as a friend. I want to at least be able to contact her occasionally to see how she is and to just let her know i care... the same way i treat other friends that i dont see often. i am a very loving person and my friends and family all know that i love them and i always show it. So how do i accept that we might not ever be friends? Its only been 3 months since it all happened ... I guess you never know what will happen in 3 years or 5 years down the track... Please help Jmina By the time you can accept truly accept this peson as a friend and nothing more, you proberbly wont be bothered anymore.
Balalaika Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Thinking what you're thinking is a last ditch emotional attempt to hold on. It's normal and understandable. But hey, you're one step closer to letting go if you've reached this stage. Nope you don't know what the future holds.... you might meet Miss Right tomorrow, just because you would like to be friends doesn't mean she wants to, who knows!. Time is your best buddy on this one.... what's big in one's head today, is often just a passing thought the next
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