Why Does The W Get Blamed?

[NoIDidn't]

...for the marriage going south by the OW?

 

If I read "neglecting your partner" or "taking him for granted" again, my head is going to spin.

 

To me, common sense says something ain't quite right with the one stepping out either. Common sense says that when one person isn't exactly respecting the commitment he made to another, why not blame him first?

 

Why is it so easy to blame her for taking him for granted, forgetting to be sexy (which I don't think is the OWs business to begin with), taking too good of care of the kids, etc., etc., etc.?

 

Why is the failure of the M automatically the W's fault when you are OW? Why doesn't MM own some of it in your eyes? Why is it so easy to dump on the woman, that many times you don't even know, that's married to your *bF*?

[Woggle]

Because they can't face the fact that they are dating a cheating bastard who will most likely do the same thing to them one day. It is pure denial.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

They also can't face the fact that it wasn't about them at all. Blaming the wife makes it ok. And let me point out, that when the M goes south it's the W's fault but when the OW's R with the cheater she agreed to cheat with goes south, he's all of a sudden a dirty lying bastard. THAT is what blows MY mind.

 

"OMG, can you believe that this man who was cheating on his W but staying only because of his deep devotion to his offspring, LIED TO ME???? uhhh, YEAH!

 

They have to blame someone. It's certainly not their fault for believing that it was OK to cheat, after all it was about what HE NEEDED to be happy.... well, UNTIL they become unhappy... then Katy bar the door!!!! Some bodies gonna pay for their gullibalness (ok, I'm making up words now)

[NoIDidn't]

You guys know I love you, right?

 

I am hoping that an x/current/whatever/OW will answer with something deep.

 

I really want to know why its okay for the OW to blame the W, but the W is instructed to "deal with [her] husband".

 

I mean, how can you blame the person that with one breath, has nothing to do with the A, but then as the A runs its course or is over, it all becomes "her" fault. He wants to stay in a loveless M? She ignores him? I think I even once read where an OW said that her MM could run through the house on fire and his W would say "oh, that's nice dear". That was really extreme. But I guess her MM must have implied or directly said that for her to make such a statement.

 

Why blame the W? What purpose does it serve? Why do some do it while others don't?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I am hoping that an x/current/whatever/OW will answer with something deep.

 

Yeah, and I'm hoping to win the lottery. Wanna make a bet which happens first. I'm puttin' my money on the 12th of never.

[NoIDidn't]

I am hoping that an x/current/whatever/OW will answer with something deep.

 

Yeah, and I'm hoping to win the lottery. Wanna make a bet which happens first. I'm puttin' my money on the 12th of never.

 

Give me 6 numbers and I'll split the winnings with you. I need the numbers NOW though. Drawing is in 22 hours!!!!

[IfWishesWereHorses]

12, 43, 29, 10, 26, 19

[Tony]

It would seem that most people in this forum are very tired of this subject...of threads of an exact subject and nature. When it gets to the point we are giving out suggested lottery numbers, I think it's time to get more original and think of new and more challenging subjects.

 

Lest this thread sprout into big problems for us, it will be closed.

 

Many thanks!