joel Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 ah entering school back in sept 07 to finish and do another 2 yrs and get a bachelor in business administration. might as well since i already completed my first 2 yrs with a dilpoma. what do you say to a girl if you have no car, no access to a car and you bus everywhere and anywhere. is it really that big of a problem. the thing is i do have my full drivers license, but i come from a overly protective, parnoid family especially my dad. i believe he watches the news and read too much into it(fatalies in car crashes, car accident, ppl dying)the thing is i can't even borrow the car, even when hes not using it. my sister can't either. we are both in our mid 20's. he doesn't like the idea of us going out at all(jsut say at home and study-yes all day, didn't even wanted us to work before-focus on ur studies.). he very stuck in his ways and even if we chatted it end up in a argument. over and over again. another scenario could be --he didn't have the chance to drive when he was younger , so he is punishing us too. the first two are definite since he did say it. i never been in accident. how am i to explain to a girl i want to ask out. we'll bus a couple of x's ,but afterwards she'll ask "do you have a car" ,"can't you at least borrow your families car" . what do you say.most guys in their mids 20's or even late teens can borrow the family car. what do i say to the girl ummm hey "i jsut can't borrow the family car, b/c my dad is too parnoid" buying a car is a idea. i was thinking about that, but then i have to pay for the insurance, gas and mainteance of the vehicle and i have to pay for my 2 yrs of school. i be working p/t too. the thing is if i did buy a car, my dad would kill and yell at me . "why didn;t you consult me first", "you could have gotten a better deal" , see you jsut don't think". "if it breaks down i not goin fix it for you or help u fix it" "your paying for everything on the car, i don't care" "you got ripped off , see why do you even need a car" -he jsut harass and kill me. i come from a strict strict family. .... the thing with him is he would have nevered helped me get a car in the first place anyways. i just now it. my parents also argue a lot. if theres a day they don't ague and fight-something is wrong. i'm pretty much a guy in his mid 20's with 15 yr old dating experience.sad. thanks to strict and controlling parents. anyways here are some excuses i thinking of making. they sound and seem weird , but i just don't want to tell them the real truth. a guy in his mid 20's can;t even borrow the family car-herself and her friends would think its a turnoff. another thought was just tell the girl i was from out of town. "i only been in Vancouver, for 1 month back home i never had a car since i'm from NY" or say the licensing is just different in Toronto compared to Vancouver. or jsut another city. Or just say i had a car, but it broke down not even sure if i goin get one since i'm not going stay in Vancouver for long-so no point in getting one. i'm be moving to Montreal-or any other city. or say i'm younger like 22,23 and even one 27 and say" i just don't have my drivers license yet". i met some ppl around that age who don't-suprisingly what else excuse do you guys have and do you think would be ideal. i just don't want to say the truth. its embrassing as it is. i never been in accident or anything . its just i come from a overprotective, sheltered family. its not just me ,but my sis too. thing is my dad is so controlling that he doesn;t want either of us to date till our 30's probably mid 30's since he so conversative . he thinks we should jsut focus on our studies and not go out, have fun, socialize and just focus on school. he has an old school mentality. the partner has to be chinese, speaks cantonese, around my age-pretty much old school mentality. he made a big deal of my sis dating too -when she was in her early 20's. nothing serious too. not sure if it was even dating, but she was hanging out with another guy. lol. if i had done trades-plumbing he would have supported me-pay for school, encourage me...etc but since i want a bachelor in business which he doesn't like(not too many job opportunitues in his mind)hes not supporting me, but harassing me for why i should take it. "there is no job in business", "with trades it a guaranteeed for a job".
Lucky555 Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Well actually there are a TON of opportunities for business degrees!! Another thing is i totally understand what your parents are thinking and what you want. I have been going out by telling my parents that i am hanging out with a friend that is a girl since i am a girl. If i told them it was a boy they would freak out. I have a car which insurance is paid by my parents cuz they are helping me through school. However, i have to pay back student loans on my own. Otherwise they are doing what they can to help. My parents think i should just study all the time also....however i found myself becoming depressed and not wanting to study. I just wasn't happy. I am responsible so i don't date people unless i get to know them some first and then i hang out with them. Another thing is that you dad my never get out of that way of thinking unless you rebel. start of slow, such as can i take the car i want to go to the library...then say to the store, then increase your way up to hanging out with friends. then increase to staying over friends house, this took me about 2 months to do. So yeah my mom may get mad but she will be over it cuz its about trust and responsibility. Another thing is i just date a guy that didn't have a car....sucked so bad kind of killed the relationship cuz he never helped pay for gas and never offered. Another thing is he always wanted me to bring him places instead of just being on our date! However, if your a nice guy say you would like to ask the girl out but you don't have a car right now. Then say however if your interested just call me up and we can hang out. Now, if shes interested she will. Offer to pay for gas the first date she will say no most likely and if you still like her say well i would like to devise a plan how about i will pay for dinner since you pay for your own gas. I feel bad that i dont have a car. Leave it at that. This way she sees that your interested but still are willing to help out to continue the relationship. later on as u get to know her tell her your story.
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