freakygal78 Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I posted a few times here in the past couple of months about the live-in bf I broke up with, about a month and a half later, I am still living in the same house with him and another housemate and things seem to be OK for the moment - we are still friends although this took a little adjusting to. It is quite painful to be relegated to friend status and so my ego took a bit of a bruising. I may have to move in the long term however as things change and this is fine with me. I have a great new career now and am quite willing to start a new life elsewhere eventually. Although I haven't been actively looking for someone new, I happened upon a lovely guy in a chat room who seems to be interested in me and wants to have lunch - we are meeting tommorrow for the first time in person. He seems to be a genuine person and very different from my last boyfriend in the way that he really knows what he wants in the next five years and wants to be committed to someone and marry, start a family etc. Needless to say, this has gone the way of many internet flirtations and we have shared so much more in a short space of time than we otherwise would have. I just guess that before I get my hopes high of a great romance happening, I need some grounding advice. He is all for taking things slow and I don't want to be reactive after my recent breakup. I know people say to wait for a certain period of time after a breakup with someone although my ex and I were only together a little over 5 months - at nearly 30 I'm thinking this kind of thing is a little extraneous and I should just take life as it comes. If he is a great guy, what is stopping me from starting a new relationship with someone who has similar life goals to me? I hate to sound fatalistic but maybe this was how it was meant to be?
Capricciosa Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 A little bit of slow never killed anyone, especially after a break up. And you have already thought about this too much for someone you haven't met in person. Take life as it comes, but also choose for yourself. Just because someone conveniently appears after your ego has been bruised, doesn't mean you need to immediately get into something with him.
bradford Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I posted a few times here in the past couple of months about the live-in bf I broke up with, about a month and a half later, I am still living in the same house with him and another housemate and things seem to be OK for the moment - we are still friends although this took a little adjusting to. It is quite painful to be relegated to friend status and so my ego took a bit of a bruising. I may have to move in the long term however as things change and this is fine with me. I have a great new career now and am quite willing to start a new life elsewhere eventually. I went through a very, very similar situation. My and my ex-fiancee continued to live together for 3 to 4 months after we broke up (bought a house together); she only moved out at the beginning of July, but let me tell you, I hear you on the adjustment. It's a huge adjustment. Probably not as bad for you w/ only 5 months, but still, it must have been pretty intense for you to even be living with the guy after such a short time (I know, I've been dumb too lol) In my case, my life didn't truly start again until we were no longer living together. Now it's awesome again. Although I haven't been actively looking for someone new Don't you know, that's when they come along? Needless to say, this has gone the way of many internet flirtations and we have shared so much more in a short space of time than we otherwise would have. Yeah, I would try to avoid doing this. The internet isn't real enough to support birthing a relationship. Wane off the online stuff if you do like him once you meet him. I just guess that before I get my hopes high of a great romance happening, I need some grounding advice. He is all for taking things slow and I don't want to be reactive after my recent breakup. I know people say to wait for a certain period of time after a breakup with someone although my ex and I were only together a little over 5 months Ah, if you feel ready, you're ready. Don't worry about what others say - after a 3 year relationship, I was ready to go almost instantly. Our minds (well, mine at least) has a funny way of foreseeing and dealing with stuff before it happens, so when it actually happens, that whole healing process is already in full swing. I would not let the whole "rebound" thing play any roll in your decision making. What is stopping me from starting a new relationship with someone who has similar life goals to me? I hate to sound fatalistic but maybe this was how it was meant to be? Nothing I don't think. Just do it, meet up with him, find out what he is really all about (away from the internet). You'll know fairly quickly what is up. Honestly, sometimes it takes a lot of boots and seaweed before you pull up a big fish - you just gotta keep trying, and I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. Had I thought like that, I would not have given the girl I'm currently dating a chance, and honestly, I would have really been missing out bradford
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