jesmel Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I just needed to get this out. I went to lunch with my MM this afternoon. Conversation turned to our plans for the weekend. He told me what his plans were for this weekend, and continued to tell me his plans for the next two weekend. No problems with any of the plans until he tells me of this going away party he will be attending for a neighbor of theirs. She will be going over to Iraq I am told, and in Jan., her husband will be going over there too he says. Well, what about their daughter, I asked. He then proceeds to tell me that he and his W are going to take her in while they are gone. I wanted to throw up. I , for almost 2 years ahve believed that his marriage was not good. I am not saying that it was horrible, but just not good. My thinking is how does one bring another child into t heir family, if only for a time, if things are not good. Well I found the joke was on me. I broke up with him. I think that was the last straw for me. I already miss the man. Can you believe that?
whichwayisup Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 It's okay to miss him, just don't react to it and call him or answer his calls! Look at this as a positive (well, in afew days) you ended it with him because you woke up and SAW the situation for what it is/was. Congrats on that, now you just need to stay strong and not give into him if he tries to get you back. PUT your foot down and decide that you will NEVER be his OW again. You deserve more from a man than being his OW.
Author jesmel Posted August 9, 2007 Author Posted August 9, 2007 Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it very much
annabelle75 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 It's okay to miss him, just don't react to it and call him or answer his calls! Look at this as a positive (well, in afew days) you ended it with him because you woke up and SAW the situation for what it is/was. Congrats on that, now you just need to stay strong and not give into him if he tries to get you back. PUT your foot down and decide that you will NEVER be his OW again. You deserve more from a man than being his OW. WWIU- I know you and I disagree alot on fundemental issues but you are probably one of the best first reply posters here when it comes to people who have just ended affairs. Good advice. And to the OP....... I am so sorry you had to come to the realization that he has no intention of breaking up with his wife life this. Taking in a child just shows that the A was nothing more than an extracurricular activity for him. At home he was living his "real life" which will now include being guardian to a child. You did the right thing by ending the A. You deserve better.
NoIDidn't Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Can you believe that? Yes, I can. His weekend talk was all a big set up to let you know he didn't have time for you. After your previous thread about your birthday and telling him that you wanted to start dating other people, I am surprised that you are shocked at all by what happened next. I am not saying that you deserved it, but I get the feeling that he was thinking that you were trying to force his hand. Its been two years and he still hadn't done anything about leaving. He probably felt like the gig was up, better end it before his W finds out (his thoughts, I'm assuming). That previous conversation has probably been playing through his mind since it happened. As for breaking up with him, I think he did the typical male break up with you by making it seem like it was your idea so he didn't have to be the bad guy. What about your own marriage, though? I respect if you don't have any intentions of talking about that, however.
GreenEyedLady Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I just needed to get this out. I went to lunch with my MM this afternoon. Conversation turned to our plans for the weekend. He told me what his plans were for this weekend, and continued to tell me his plans for the next two weekend. No problems with any of the plans until he tells me of this going away party he will be attending for a neighbor of theirs. She will be going over to Iraq I am told, and in Jan., her husband will be going over there too he says. Well, what about their daughter, I asked. He then proceeds to tell me that he and his W are going to take her in while they are gone. I wanted to throw up. I , for almost 2 years ahve believed that his marriage was not good. I am not saying that it was horrible, but just not good. My thinking is how does one bring another child into t heir family, if only for a time, if things are not good. Well I found the joke was on me. I broke up with him. I think that was the last straw for me. I already miss the man. Can you believe that? Maybe I just don't get it... Why assume that everything is good between just because they take in a little girl? I mean maybe it is... But it seems to me that adding another person to the mix is just one more way of avoiding dealing with each other...
Author jesmel Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 Well, he called, my MM, and tried to explain it to me. All I have to say is, it is really none of my business. He and his W have made this decison. Fine. As for my H, I we decided last night to just not live togrther. Everybody gets along better like this. He will be leaving soon anyway.
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 WWIU- I know you and I disagree alot on fundemental issues but you are probably one of the best first reply posters here when it comes to people who have just ended affairs. Good advice. Thanks Annabell. Well, he called, my MM, and tried to explain it to me. All I have to say is, it is really none of my business. He and his W have made this decison. Fine. As for my H, I we decided last night to just not live togrther. Everybody gets along better like this. He will be leaving soon anyway. Maybe some time alone will help you decide what you want. Get some counselling in too, could help you through this rough time. Who knows, maybe you and your H will reconnect if you DO decide to move on and let MM go forever.
outofdarkness Posted August 13, 2007 Posted August 13, 2007 I just needed to get this out. I went to lunch with my MM this afternoon. Conversation turned to our plans for the weekend. He told me what his plans were for this weekend, and continued to tell me his plans for the next two weekend. No problems with any of the plans until he tells me of this going away party he will be attending for a neighbor of theirs. She will be going over to Iraq I am told, and in Jan., her husband will be going over there too he says. Well, what about their daughter, I asked. He then proceeds to tell me that he and his W are going to take her in while they are gone. I wanted to throw up. I , for almost 2 years ahve believed that his marriage was not good. I am not saying that it was horrible, but just not good. My thinking is how does one bring another child into t heir family, if only for a time, if things are not good. Well I found the joke was on me. I broke up with him. I think that was the last straw for me. I already miss the man. Can you believe that? Yep...he's a creep...Most MM are selfish, egotistical jerks..It's a rare on indeed who is being honest re: his M...Most just want their own selfish needs satisfied...You did the right thing...Good for you!
Recommended Posts