Sonitas Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 There are so many negative posts on this board at times it can be overwhelming. It almost gives a person a sense that there is almost no hope of working through difficulties in a marriage. Sometimes it is what people need, reasurance that they are not the only one suffering, in pain, in need of...something...love perhaps. Isn't that we all want? To be loved and accepted for who we want to be? But sometimes we fail to acknowledge all the good things in our relationships, why is is that pain remains in the memory more clearly then kindness, consideration and love does? Marriage is work, HARD work. Not saying that we all did not know that when we got married! But when I was faced with the decision of giving my marriage another chance or walking away I wanted to take the easy way out. It has been almost six months since I moved back in with my husband and things are working out wonderfully. I am glad I decided to take on the challenge of for better or worse and if things still don't work out later in life then I can feel comfort in that I did the best I could, was forgiving, compasionate and loving. I hope that if you are struggling in a marriage that feels loveless, sexless or without communication that you can help turn it around. Have faith that you and your partner can work through this, troubled times happen to all of us, it's how we work through them that tells us apart!
Mr Green Jeans Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Great Post. Love the attitude & feel more of us should take this route. I have been trying to give my significant other to give it an effort we will see.....
PWSX3 Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 Wow Sonitas did you just read the book I read??? In that book it talks about how we look at the negative things & we need to look at the positive, the things we enjoy together & then do more of those things. I also feel when things are going good we stop working on a relationship & that is when we need to do even more. Why I think this way is because when spouses are getting along they don't take things negetive, they don't see the bad when we are talking. I have noticed there are time I will still say something that afterwards I tell the W I am sorry that I should have said it different & she says; oh that is O.K. I understand what you were trying to say & I know for a fact that if we aren't getting a long & I would say the same thing she would take it the wrong way. Soritas I'm SO HAPPY to hear things are going well for you, it is nice to hear the good stories & to know there is hope for some. I am not sure how a couple can get back together when one doesn't want to but there are plenty of books out there that say it can be done. I heard someplace that only 1% of separations get back together so that isn't a very good percent but like you said; people just give up, take the easy road....
Author Sonitas Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 Only 1% you say...ouch! Well I guess that's where the term "against all odds" comes into play. If you want something bad enough you CAN make it happen. But of course like you said both partners have to want it to work for any miracles to happen. There is also the "whole picture" to be taken in as well, should the relationship be saved? Abuse, both verbal and physical is NOT acceptable and no one should be in relationship where they are treated in such a manner. Everyones relationship is different, but it seems like we are always trying to look for similarities in others situations to give us comfort and to justify our decisions when we should be looking inside our hearts to tell us how we feel.
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