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Posted

My girl and I have been seeing eachother for 3 years and were engaged for 1. Also, we've been friends for atleast 10 years and we're both 25. We got back into contact by chance at a restaurant awhile back and it's been all sparks and smiles ever since. Both of us have always been work-aholics, I think it might be genetic in both of our families. About 3 months ago she decided to pick up a second job at a local restaurant because we were short on money. I initially was opposed to the idea cuz of my foolish male pride of course. She said it made no sense for me with school and stuff like that so I agreed. We both have some personal issues. A lot of mine come from my dad's experience with relationships, my parent's divorce, and time spent overseas. Ya i know i come with a lot of baggage. I'm not gonna discuss her issues because i don't think it's fair to her and that's her private business.

Anyhow, at her new job she started making friends and hanging out and stuff like. She has never lied to me, and i know this gullible, but she's not a cheater. I've been there for her in past relationships that didn't end well. I don't know if i felt threatened by her new freedom or what my deal was. I started becoming a real butthole to her, and i didn't even know it. We've been spating a bit since the beginning of all this. The other night when she got home from her friends we had a long talk. She said she doesn't know what she wants anymore and needs some time to think. The next day we talked a lot about our relationship and we both did a lot of crying which was a huge step for me since i don't think i've cryed for 10 years. We decided it would be best to postpone the wedding which was supposed to be September 29th. We kinda took a day by ourselves and she visited her therapist. She is also involved in mental health and is the most intelligent girl I will probably ever know. I agreed to seek counseling for my issues and i'm excited i start the 28th of this month. She thinks we need to work on this alone and that it'll be hard. She said it will be ok sometime to start dating eachother again at some point. Yesterday she packed some clothes and left to stay at her grandparents. She said she needed some space and time to think. I think those are the scariest words to hear in a relationship. Today is our first day in three years without any contact form eachother and it's really scary. I told her whatever she decided that i need some closier if she decides to end it. I've been fighting off the urge to call, or text, or contact her. Previous posts were keeping me motivated for doing so. I think the crying might be the best thing that's ever happened to me, since i've opened up to my parents over everything that's happened since they got divorced. I'm just up late and lonely. Willing to take advice and criticism if needed. I'm just scared cuz i love her so much it hurts. Sorry for the long post

 

Jimmy

Posted

I know exactly what your going through man. I just lost my fiance to almost the same thing, only it wasn't from a new job. She just started hanging out with new people at her current job. It has been about six weeks since she left. I believe it was a Wednesday when she said that she was going to stay with her parents for awhile...then two days later she said that this was going to be perminent. After reading all the good advice and all the past expierences that people have on this site it kind of sank in. She loved me, but just not enough to try anymore. She used the excuse of I just need some time...I need to find out who I am...., but underneath it all I guess she just didn't love me enough anymore to try and work on it. But the best advice is to give her what ever it is she needs, and be strong. I understand that the pain is so real. And it will be for a long time. But like I said man, be strong. Good luck, and remember to take care of yourself, because now you are the most important person in your life.

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Posted

Thanks DumpED and i'm sorry to hear about your situation, that sucks. She's got a great head on her shoulders and we've been friends for a long time. I've been talking to her mom and it's been very reassuring. However, I'm still preparing for the worst. I just wish i could figure out what my problem is she even offered at the beginning to take me out with them and everything. I guess that's what the counseling is for. I'm glad till then that i've found this forum because it seems to provide great support to many. Thanks.

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