Jesika Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Ok, well I will try to summerize......... I have been dating this guy for about 2yrs, and we live together. Our relationship is wonderfull in all aspects except in the bedroom. I have a much higher "drive" then he does and this is the only thing we ever fight about. So, we compromised and agreed at least once a week we would have sex. Well, I am trying to be patient.......but instead of it working it is getting worse. I am 9yrs older then he is so it is hard for me to understand how he doesn't want sex as much as I do. It is always the same excuse............I am tired:rolleyes:. That has been the same reason everytime I have brought this up. I have tried everything..........yelling, not yelling, strip teases, leaving him alone about it (which resulted in 3 weeks without), compromising, threatening to leave, or move out. I don't know what else to do.........this is our only problem or fight we have. Well, I have ranted enough.........hope you have some advice cause I am at a loss of what to do. Jes:confused:
Krytellan Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I wish I could help, but I can't. But I do want to know why all the men with no sex drive get the women with the sex drives I have been looking for for 10 years. SOOOOOO frustrating.
squeak Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Because we end up dating/marrying the personality of the parent we had the most issues with, and in the process polarize them into the opposite of what we actually want so as to face our biggest fears and harden ourselves/become acclimated to that which we fear the most. At that point, when we adjust to this lack of whatever and change accordingly, (become less needy/less demanding/more needy/more jealous -whichever) is when the SO will then readjust and become what we want. We innately search out those who challenge us to the very core of being. Simple, really!
Author Jesika Posted August 9, 2007 Author Posted August 9, 2007 Well, I told him this evening that he had 6 months (we just signed a new lease) to show more effort or I would be finding a new place to live. I will not be treated like a roommate, and be at his beck and call whenever HE wants sex. Jes (sorry, just really frustrated with it all)
LoveLace Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I don't blame you. I think every guy I've dated only wants things such as sex ONLY when it was convenient for him. That gets really old.
squeak Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Hi Jes, You may find more birds of a feather in the "marriage and life partnerships " forum, I'm not attempting to be funny here-but they have a lot more experience and can probably commiserate better- in your post title include the exact problem, you'll get a lot more respondants.
Enema Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 To be fair, it is a lot harder for a man to put out on cue than a woman.
woodsfield Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 "To be fair, it is a lot harder for a man to put out on cue than a woman", Enema. i want it constantly, but no pun intend, i think it would be "harder" for a man to put out on cue, too, but come on, once a week "on cue"?! jes, i feel for you because i would be at wits end with my wife if that were the case. we've been together for 9+ years, have a 1 1/2 year old and we are still able to get some "time" at LEAST 4 times a week (unless she has something else going on ). it is sometimes "just for me", if ya know what i mean. that's rough! i'd be going nuts too, but i don't think it will get any better. i'm not sexologist but i don't think his sex drive will change unless you start slipping something in his drink. good luck.
Author Jesika Posted August 9, 2007 Author Posted August 9, 2007 I am new here so I didn't really know or look to see where this topic should go........will take more notice next time.....thanks. Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one that thinks this is unacceptable. Well, all I can do now is wait and see what he does........or doesn't do. Thanks for the replies ........I really needed people to bounce this off of. Jes
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