Lucky555 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 So i have posted about this "loser" of a guy before. Does weed (occasionally) smokes drinks (at least three times a week) child (does pay child support and sees child) no car low paying job good qualities listens to me affectionate supportive (since i dont have anything and i am in school ) does not yell or swear, smoke, or drink when with me makes me laugh genuine he is a good guy at heart. I found myself hating him at first because i have been hurt before. after i found out about those things about him (bad things) i wanted to get rid of him. However, what is wrong with me! Its not that i can't get the hint across its that i am not following through. I cant even though i know i could do better I know i like him. I do i like this guy even though there are those factors . As i was thinking to myself if i were rich i would date this guy and have a light heart about it. Its the conflict with my parents "would they approve" No they wouldn't Do any of you think that he could change? like stop drinking so much (he has) he has limited his smoking (i know its difficult because my dad used to smoke) i know i can do better but he actually has shown me what its like to sit by the campfire and just be. I find myself relaxed and happy when i am with him. So what am i doing, i can't help how i feel. My head says that this guy does smoke weed occassionally and that he might not be the one. But how do we ever know? I am so confused i can't figure myself out. when i didnt attend his game i found myself wanting to call him to explain that i have to study and ugh i feel torn! he has not hurt me at all so far and its been a month but two weeks no hanging out. I am angry because i like him when hes not "perfect" so to speak for my parents. Hes 30 i am 22 HELP PLEASE
directx Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Simple. Move on. If you are this much unsure, I wouldnt bother. there is no good quality you listed he had that you cannot find again. When I like someone, I know. There is no confusion there. Find someone that brings you to that level
Author Lucky555 Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 I had been wondering if i made the wrong choice by getting rid of this guy and it appears that i should! Today, i went to his game because i know it means a lot to him. So i went to his game after just saying hi to him at work for the past two weeks. I have realized that our intense passion is no longer there. well i don't feel it and today confirms it after this. Here i got out and went to his game they won and it was good i should say. However, he comes up to me after the game "DRUNK" and asks me if i have any money that he can borrow! WHAT! hahaa being polite i told him i had five dollars. haha he didn't take it. When he got near me i moved away. At the end he gave me a hug and I gave him one while i persuaded him to go with other people since he does not have a car! After leaving i felt really good and i still feel good. Yesterday i was wondering if i made the wrong choice since i have not really got to hang out with him lately but today confirmed and i feel good. I know that hes at a party with drugs and booze by choice. I know that he is happy where he is at but that is not for me it does not make me happy therefore moving on to someone else does make me happy! THANKS!
bradford Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 He may be a loser, he may not be, but I don't agree with you judging people based on the amount of money they have, or if they have a car or not. That's just shalllll-oowwww. "Does weed" lol.. oh no... the horrors!!
kitty99b Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 I agree with bradford, it shouldnt matter what kind of car he has!! but drinking and smoking...ha...that doesnt change over time...people don't change! if you like someone you should acept him for who he is because chances are he will not change...and if you like him but want to him to make some changes then you dont like him at all.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 11, 2007 Author Posted August 11, 2007 Initially i thought he was 25 and no kids but then i found that he was 30 and i am 22 and he has a kid. ok i was shocked but i was willing to have a go at this since i liked him a lot in the beginning. In the beginng he said he was getting a car in a week He said he was applying for a better job (the job he is at now is only a temp job and he knew he would be no longer be working for the company after this summer) He never applied for the better job because HE CANT PASS THE DRUG TEST!!! Ok, money is not what i was after however, when he said "lets go to a movie and i agreed, then he said oh i have to swing by my fathers house to get some money because he is handling my money for me" This was a red flag! I ended up being polite and paying for movie and dinner..that was our last date because he tried to scheme me again on another date! Another thing is he was drunk on EVERY DATE till i told him i noticed it and didnt like it, he stopped for a couple dates but then he was getting drunk just about every night...and there was always an excuse for his "drinking" He does weed everyday and smoke cigerettes. I gave him a chance, even though he had no car, if he would have treated me right and did not do those things i would be still with him. However, I am pursing my degree and I need someone who is not a drug addict or an alcoholic. I want to be a doctor, and he would just hold me back, I CARE ABOUT HIM, but i can't continue with someone like this and i cant accept the person he is so i am moving on.
Thumper Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 I think it is best to move on.Funny,he has money to spend on drinking,smoking, and weed but cannot seem to buy a car,seems telling enough.And you cannot change him,he has to change on his own.
KingCrimson Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 So he's 30, is poor, doesn't even own a car, has a child. Hmm, sounds like he has a real future ahead of him! Oh, and the drinking and smoking has nothing to do with him being a loser
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