anewme Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Okay...I've posted before about how my mom and I have had a strained relationship going on 15 years now. I am at a point where I know myself, and I know to keep her at arm's length is best. It is the only way to not get sucked in and end up hating myself. That being said, I just found out that last week she met with my ex-husband while he was in town (he called to tell me). I guess she gave him a letter, but they ended up talking for a long time, and he read me some stuff from the letter...things like that she can't ever feel towards anyone how she felt towards him...everyday is filled with saddness...etc. I think she also made some stuff up, or maybe not made it up, but has an extreme misperception of my life and he was like "uh, that's not what I've gathered when I've talked to her". She actually badmouthed my new boyfriend to him, at which point he spoke up for me. Even though he is an ex, we still have respect for each other. We don't really talk, and I haven't seen him in 2 years. Yes, it was 2 years ago and my mom still can't get over it. I really don't know what to do. I don't really want to confront her because I don't think that anything I say will matter (it hasn't yet). IN her mind, she is right and just. She told him to not tell me they spoke, because she new I would be furious, yet she went ahead and did it because it's something she "needed" to do. I was not able to grieve him properly (he left me), because she was such a wreck. She wanted answers, answers I didn't and still don't have. She would ask me if I thought he missed them (my parents) and if i thought he thought of them often...I was like, um, I don't know? What I needed was a mom to tell me "Don't worry. This was bad, but you'll meet someone much better, you deserve better". Instead it has been very much "he was so wonderful, we will never meet anyone like him again, etc." Of course, he cheated on me and dumped me on my ass out of the blue one day. My ex told me it was as though he had divorced her, not me. He is a kind person, and very tolerant, so I understand why he would have agreed to see her, even though he thought it was weird. My family WAS his family as his mom had passed away early on in our relationship. But still....I really don't know what to do. I think there is some mental illness on my mom's side. She's always been nutty, but this is the icing on the cake. Her sisters are crazy, her mom was a selfish snot. I am trying hard to be a good person and do the best with what life has been given me. I have found love again, and am independent, healthy and happy. But this is tearing me apart inside.
Recommended Posts