Blueeyes9af Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 We met at the young age of 12. It was young love. When I was 13, my mom died & then 6 months later he moved away. Its 2 of the worst events that have ever happened to me. Well, we dated for a few years on & off long distance but finally ended it. Well, its been 10 years & I'm still not over it. We've kept in touch throughout the years even visiting each other at least once a year. I'm very close to his family & friends; I'm even considering moving there for a year. But the connection I once had with him is gone. When I do visit its cool, but we pretty much use eachother for sex & thats it. I told him if I move there we need to be strictly friends & he agreed, but we haven't talked since. I don't understand, I have never done anything for him to not care about me at all. I don't think he thinks much of me & I'm a great girl who would do anything for him. I'm too nice. I know I should forget him & move on, but to do that I'd have to cut all his family & friends out of my life...& I'm not ready to do that. I love them all like family. I don't know what to do anymore. I've talked it over w/ my friends & I think I need perspective from people I don't know who have maybe had a similar situation. In my ideal world, I'd love to move there & reconnect & live happily ever after. I just don't think he'll feel that way for me again. Please someone hep me...its eating me alive & stopping me from finding someone else.
Curious139 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 None of us forget our first love. It really is the deepest. Indeed we don't forget our second or third loves either. People say they forget, move on (I hate those words) and for some it is true. In my opinion those people who have a strong emotional intelligence keep the memory and love they felt for another person with them in a private part of the memory for life. And that isn't a bad thing. To have loved and be loved is the most wonderful feeling in the world. The downside is that the emptiness of loss is the worst feeling in the world....... Can't have one without the risk of the other. Sad but true. People who easily "move on" either don't have the depth for emotional attachment, or are able to mentally detach themselves from the bond. We all have to do this at some point, it just takes longer in certain cases. I strongly suggest you try to accept that the relationship is finished. By hanging on you are torturing yourself. You should go out with other people and accept them as themselves - not wishing they were like him. You'll find someone or they will find you.
jimmy1981 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I agree with Curious on this. I'm a new poster, but i've seen the best and the worst in people. If you keep this up it's going to eat you up inside for longer yet. I think at this point it might be best to see some sort of counseler. I start mine on the 28th. I think that will help a lot to get it off your chest and even learn a healthy way to deal with it, and at some point move on. Jimmy
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