librooks Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 My friend Rhonda has been seeing my friend Mark for almost 2 years. They spend all of their time together and are intimate (everything except actual sex). However, he's interested in dating (and sleeping with) other people, which he's done. He refuses to have sex with Rhonda because he doesn't want a relationship with her, but he cares about her and doesn't want to lose her friendship. Rhonda and everyone else feels they're in a relationship because of how they are when they're together (he's very demonstrative and caring). Mark claims they are "just friends", and he doesn't feel "that way" about her, and he's told her that many times but she keeps pursuing him anyway. But then he makes out with her and spends all of his time with her! But then again, she's not stopping him either. I'd say he was using her but he's not getting sex from her, or money, or anything except companionship. Any advice you can give either of them? Especially Rhonda? I think it's better to hear it from a stranger rather than a friend who is close to both of them. Thank you!
squeak Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Mark may be gay, unless he is deeply religious, which I doubt because of his interest to be with others. A few of my gay friends had token girlfriends they just were not interested in sleeping with. To answer your question, it's not a committed relationship, and 2 years is more than enough time for her to see he is not committed to her and probably won't ever be, time to move on.
Yamaha Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 For 2 opposite sex friends to become close where they spend lots of time together means 1 of them wants more than just friends. Mark likes her but for some reason he doesn't see her as the girl for him in a romantic relationship. I do think he is somewhat selfish but since he has told her that he wants to be just friends she has to make a decision if she can handle being platonic. By hanging on and thinking he will change his mind she is just hurting herself and keeping her from having the relationship she wants. Time to let go or at least restrict her time with him.
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