sao2 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 No, I hate this thought that a new relationship is the answer to your heartbreak. No!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! I say go out, flirt, laugh, meet people you find attractive, and heck even go out on some dates, but until you are ready don't get involved in a relationship with someone. If we are still here for anything besides imparting our "level-headed" knowledge upon the broken hearted then we have no business getting involved with someone new. I see the advice given, find someone new when someone is heartbroken and it breaks my heart. If we attract that which we are then wouldn't it stand to reason that we want to put our best foot forward when we are trying to get involved. I know that I am a mess right now, I would not want to be with any woman that wants to be with me right now. I would be a little wary and wondering what kind of psycho she is to be attracted to me right now. That said, go find your "best self" again, then and only then will you be ready to look for someone new to get involved with.
Northstar1984 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I agree! This is precisely why I've not gotten majorly involved with any of the girls that have come along since She broke it off. I believe you do need to keep your foot in the river, but for God's sake! Don't go swimming! You'll end up breaking down, a few weeks later and realising this isn't what you want... therefore hurting your new partner. This is unbelievably hypocritical!!!! I hate my ex for decided to get with someone 2 weeks after we split.. I really do. I believe she's using him - or she genuinely cannot LIVE as a singleton. Either way, she's a fool.
funkybassplayer Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 No, I hate this thought that a new relationship is the answer to your heartbreak. No!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! I say go out, flirt, laugh, meet people you find attractive, and heck even go out on some dates, but until you are ready don't get involved in a relationship with someone. If we are still here for anything besides imparting our "level-headed" knowledge upon the broken hearted then we have no business getting involved with someone new. I see the advice given, find someone new when someone is heartbroken and it breaks my heart. If we attract that which we are then wouldn't it stand to reason that we want to put our best foot forward when we are trying to get involved. I know that I am a mess right now, I would not want to be with any woman that wants to be with me right now. I would be a little wary and wondering what kind of psycho she is to be attracted to me right now. That said, go find your "best self" again, then and only then will you be ready to look for someone new to get involved with. A very good post, the new honeymoon is only a quick fix to a much deeper level of pain, that is sure to arise again. (baggage) that may have been there for many years b4 us, and as you say, a person that is not whole will attract a person only to supply them with what they dont have. They have to take time out to figure out whats wrong and missing, but some people find it simpler to get that feel good feeling again...........a plaster over the cut, but the plaster will again fall off to expose the cut.
funkybassplayer Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I agree! This is precisely why I've not gotten majorly involved with any of the girls that have come along since She broke it off. I believe you do need to keep your foot in the river, but for God's sake! Don't go swimming! You'll end up breaking down, a few weeks later and realising this isn't what you want... therefore hurting your new partner. This is unbelievably hypocritical!!!! I hate my ex for decided to get with someone 2 weeks after we split.. I really do. I believe she's using him - or she genuinely cannot LIVE as a singleton. Either way, she's a fool. The only reason you hate her is cos you stil care, but she has to make her own mistakes b4 finding the right parth to take for her life.Try not to hate her for that, just let her go.
Grace112 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I 100% agree. She can only push off the pain of the loss for so long. Sure she's distracted by this guy, but it will only be a matter of time before whatever attention she's getting is not enough. Then she'll be on to the next one. I truly think the healthiest thing to do is deal with your own pain.
9Lives Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I would definately not get into any R right now. I have been dating and have be forunate to meet a guy who like to cuddle and hug but not trying to pull my pants down and that is what separates him from these other guys that I have been dealing with. so it is coool. I still love my Ex. Good or bad...right or wrong. My heart is not my own. But I have gotten closer to God to be honest. He has been healing my broken heart. It may sound stupid or corny but that has been my strength. No one loves me like he does and gives me 2nd chances.
Chinook Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I completely agree. 100%. No way no how is it going anywhere near for me. Someone asked me a couple of days ago was I looking again for someone else and I stared at the guy in disbelief and said 'no, I think not, it will be a lonnng time before I even think about it' (and no, he wasn't trying it on, he's gay).
Author sao2 Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 This is not about your ex's. This is about us. Who cares if your ex got with someone new. That is not the point, let your ex carry the baggage from there last relationship into the next. The point is we shouldn't. My last break up, before this one. I did the dumping, I wasn't really heartbroken to be honest(although I should have been, I wish I would have been ready to give my heart away then). But still, even then I took a good 6 month's to decompress before I started even going out on dates again. The point here is that for a good amount of time you have to get your bearings. Your life has been rocked and suddenly you are in a completely new situation. By rushing into something before you are ready you are settling for less than you deserve. You should take the time to make sure that you are ready to put your best foot forward into the relationship
frd150 Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 This is not about your ex's. This is about us. Who cares if your ex got with someone new. That is not the point, let your ex carry the baggage from there last relationship into the next. The point is we shouldn't. My last break up, before this one. I did the dumping, I wasn't really heartbroken to be honest(although I should have been, I wish I would have been ready to give my heart away then). But still, even then I took a good 6 month's to decompress before I started even going out on dates again. The point here is that for a good amount of time you have to get your bearings. Your life has been rocked and suddenly you are in a completely new situation. By rushing into something before you are ready you are settling for less than you deserve. You should take the time to make sure that you are ready to put your best foot forward into the relationship I completely agree but I think that the other posters do also for the most part. I myself have gone out on a few dates. Even met up with an old ex (mutual breakup,sweet girl,distance issues) but it did not seem right. The conection with my current ex was/is so strong. Im just not fully ready. I do not think its fair to the other. I think that before entering into any relationship you have to check your baggage at the door. In fairness you have to be available emotionally. Im not there yet.
funkybassplayer Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 This is not about your ex's. This is about us. Who cares if your ex got with someone new. That is not the point, let your ex carry the baggage from there last relationship into the next. The point is we shouldn't. My last break up, before this one. I did the dumping, I wasn't really heartbroken to be honest(although I should have been, I wish I would have been ready to give my heart away then). But still, even then I took a good 6 month's to decompress before I started even going out on dates again. The point here is that for a good amount of time you have to get your bearings. Your life has been rocked and suddenly you are in a completely new situation. By rushing into something before you are ready you are settling for less than you deserve. You should take the time to make sure that you are ready to put your best foot forward into the relationship I agree, but it helps to unsderstand why people go to relationship to relationship. But we are different people from our ex's in that they are scared to face their own crap and pain, and we are not, and will wait untill we are readu. Me personally, have started to enjoy mt own company again, something that i forgot was like ! For that to happen it shows im begining to like my self again. How many times have you heard an ex say i hate being on my own? (proberly they dont like themselves and thats a big red flag for the future!) . I also think that its always important to forgive the ex, as they have done what they think is best, and if you carry anger, you carry baggae.
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