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Does it end if it doesn't evolve?


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Posted

My question is:

Is there a point in a relation that remains unchangeable? Do you always need to go "to the next level" to make it work? Would you break up with someone that refused to go to the next level even if it was for a good reason?

 

Maybe some people just get bored if things don't change. Or maybe lacking objectives in a relation kills it. Is that true?:confused:

Posted

It depends on which level you mean.

 

If you met someone and didnt want to progress onto being exclusive and the other person had to have exclusivity then then it would be a problem. Probably enough to break up over.

 

If you was exclusive and one of you didnt want to move in together/get married/ have kids etc and the other wanted this then that would be a deal breaker and you would probably part over it.

 

Relationships are all different and everyone has different goals (I never want to get married but other people crave that)

 

So the answer to that question is that it depends on the next level and how important it is to both parties!

 

IMO I think we should be honest with ourselves what we want and not settle for less!

Posted

Progression in any relationship is natural. If it stagnates at one point, there are usually serious reasons why. Best to review the reasons and decide if the relationship is worthwhile to continue with or not.

 

To respond to the initial question of breaking up due to lack of progression, yes, I would do that.

Posted

What if say you work with someone and there is an attraction between you and a co-worker. Nothing can happen due to not being single and work "inappropriantness" issues. Does the attraction just stay there or does it go away because it can't stay in the "we want each other but we can't go there" zone forever?

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Posted
What if say you work with someone and there is an attraction between you and a co-worker. Nothing can happen due to not being single and work "inappropriantness" issues. Does the attraction just stay there or does it go away because it can't stay in the "we want each other but we can't go there" zone forever?

mmm I thing usually it goes away, once you realize nothing can happen. but if there is hope it could last longer.

Posted

I think that depends on what each individual is looking for in regard to their relationship with that other person. For me, if I’m content with where the relationship/friendship is already at ... I’m happy to simply sail along and maintain without feeling the constant need to “level up”.

 

But if I’m interested in something more serious with someone I’m casually dating, and the relationship is merely floundering in what I feel is the dead-end zone, I do have a tendency to get bored and eventually disinterested.

 

Not their fault. Not my fault. It just happens when two people who are initially attracted to each other discover they’re a bit out of sync when it comes to what they’re looking for at any given time.

Posted
What if say you work with someone and there is an attraction between you and a co-worker. Nothing can happen due to not being single and work "inappropriantness" issues. Does the attraction just stay there or does it go away because it can't stay in the "we want each other but we can't go there" zone forever?

 

 

It can last a while, but will eventually die if nothing gives. This happens in the restaurant business all the time! ;)

Posted

whenn you're in a relationship with someone it's like you're on a ladder. there will always be steps up ahead and if one person decides not to keeping going up then I don't see how the relationship can survive. and don't settle for less than what you really want in order to keep someone. it would be unfullfilling and a terrible waste of your feelings (and time).

And I agree that boredom is a relationship breaker! keepin it fresh and fun is ideal!!

Posted

I should qualify my comments. If you're happy and want to remain in one place, then don't let others, including myself, push you beyond what you want. If you have different expectations, then the two of you have to either be prepared to compromise/work it out or you have basic incompatibilities.

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