unrelatedto Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I'm 18 years old.. i love a man who is 35years old... i know it's a big age gap but i love him with all my heart... i've known him for 2years, it's only since 8months that we've been dating.. he was married at the time, during a divorce process.. it's not because of me that he divorced but his wife was too naggy and was carefree.. they don't have any children and well, i always liked older guys but he's the one that i love with all my heart... he says he loves me too.. now i have a big problem... I am not that beautiful while he is the most handsome guy i've ever seen.. i really want to get slim for him to be attracted to me only... i'm a little overweight.. with 10lbs lost, i'm sure i would be more beautiful... I've tried to diet but i gain back when i stop.. i've read that xenical is a diet pill that stop absorption of fats in the body.. Do you think it's any good?? Please don't judge our relationship, i've never been as happy as i am since i'm with him... my parents don't know his age though they know i've been dating someone special.. i've been going out with his friends mainly.. i mean, hanging out with his friends rather than with my friends as my friends are pretty childish compared to his friends... i believe i'm mature enough to be with him and if he asks me to marry him at this second, i swear i would die!! die of happiness! :love::love: that's love
dropdeadlegs Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I don't think that Xenical is what you need. It's designed for those who need to lose more than 10 pounds. I believe the new OTC diet supplement called Alli is very similar to Xenical, but at a lower dose in order to be sold OTC. It has some really horrible side affects from what I have read and is not an easy, quick fix. be prepared for chronic diarrhea to the point that the packaging suggests carrying an extra pair of pants around with you at all times. Use of this type of diet aid requires a serious lifestyle change. The fat that isn't absorbed has to go somewhere, and my understanding is that is runs right through in a rather messy way. If you count calories and eat less and exercise, you should be able to lose 10 pounds in less than two months and it is a healthier way to go. Has your man mentioned weight as an issue? Maybe he likes you just the way you are. Not every man likes thin women, some prefer a little meat on ones bones.
nellstar Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 yeah you should ask your bf. maybe he likes you the way you are. i know a lot of guys nowadays they like women with more meat on them than the anorexic type. or even modelisque type. whatever the word is.
Enema Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Diets, supplements and pills are not the way to lose weight. Developing an exercise routine and changing your diet, for life, are how you lose and maintain a healthy weight. A lot of overweight people go to great lengths to try and avoid exercise, when really it's the best answer.
DanielMadr Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Diets, supplements and pills are not the way to lose weight. Developing an exercise routine and changing your diet, for life, are how you lose and maintain a healthy weight. A lot of overweight people go to great lengths to try and avoid exercise, when really it's the best answer. or enema:D I agree with you. Dont stuff yourself and give your body chance to burn some fat. If you are not sweating you are not loosing weight.
directx Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Hey Unlreatedto! Its good you want to lose weight, but i hope you do it for YOU and just your bf. I have lost quite a bit of weight by cutting my calories and slowly changing my eating habits. Figure out why you are heavy? For me, it was eating bad and not enough exercise. I was also an emotional eater. Its weird. Once i met someone that really gave me an outlet for my issues, problems, venting, etc, i didnt emotionally eat anymore (and I owe this special person such a debt they do not know). but anyway, I would gradually change your eating habits, find an activity you truly like (which is HARD) and maybe weigh yourself every day . (that helps me).
Cobra_X30 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Listen to me.... Xenical and Alli have some nasty side effects just like dropdead says. It is not uncommon to crap your pants on this stuff. Also, Im not going to trash on your relationship... just make sure you dont get pushed into having children before you are ready.
TerryTeardrop Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Xenical made my friend poo her pants at the bus stop! Its ok if you have an eating disorder and need to lose 200lbs but you dont need it! You may think he is the best looking thing but also think that he may think the same of you! He met you how you look now so dont change for him. Losing weight is good for your health and self esteem but dont do it for him, it may not be what he wants anyway! Ps: He is 35 and he will be clapping his hands together in glee at getting a shot at an 18 year old!
Cobra_X30 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Oh, and note that studies show Xenical is only effective for people consuming a high fat diet. I would bet that cutting overall caloric intake will make you lose quicker. Sub out high simple carbohydrate foods for complex carbs and vegetables.
squeak Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 be prepared for chronic diarrhea to the point that the packaging suggests carrying an extra pair of pants around with you at all times. Don't do it woman!
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I'm 18 years old.. i love a man who is 35years old... i know it's a big age gap but i love him with all my heart... i've known him for 2years, it's only since 8months that we've been dating.. he was married at the time, during a divorce process.. it's not because of me that he divorced but his wife was too naggy and was carefree.. they don't have any children and well, i always liked older guys but he's the one that i love with all my heart... he says he loves me too.. now i have a big problem... I am not that beautiful while he is the most handsome guy i've ever seen.. i really want to get slim for him to be attracted to me only... i'm a little overweight.. with 10lbs lost, i'm sure i would be more beautiful... I've tried to diet but i gain back when i stop.. i've read that xenical is a diet pill that stop absorption of fats in the body.. Do you think it's any good?? Please don't judge our relationship, i've never been as happy as i am since i'm with him... my parents don't know his age though they know i've been dating someone special.. i've been going out with his friends mainly.. i mean, hanging out with his friends rather than with my friends as my friends are pretty childish compared to his friends... i believe i'm mature enough to be with him and if he asks me to marry him at this second, i swear i would die!! die of happiness! :love::love: that's love Only go on a diet for you, not for your boyfriend. Also I found a good way to loose weight was to jog every morning for at least an hour. Get up, go jog, come back have breakfast like a low fat yagart and fruit and water. That helped me drop a lot of weight.
uniqueone Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I'm 18 years old.. i love a man who is 35years old... i know it's a big age gap but i love him with all my heart... i've known him for 2years, it's only since 8months that we've been dating.. he was married at the time, during a divorce process.. it's not because of me that he divorced but his wife was too naggy and was carefree.. they don't have any children and well, i always liked older guys but he's the one that i love with all my heart... he says he loves me too.. now i have a big problem... I am not that beautiful while he is the most handsome guy i've ever seen.. i really want to get slim for him to be attracted to me only... i'm a little overweight.. with 10lbs lost, i'm sure i would be more beautiful... I've tried to diet but i gain back when i stop.. i've read that xenical is a diet pill that stop absorption of fats in the body.. Do you think it's any good?? Please don't judge our relationship, i've never been as happy as i am since i'm with him... my parents don't know his age though they know i've been dating someone special.. i've been going out with his friends mainly.. i mean, hanging out with his friends rather than with my friends as my friends are pretty childish compared to his friends... i believe i'm mature enough to be with him and if he asks me to marry him at this second, i swear i would die!! die of happiness! :love::love: that's love What do you mean attracted to you ONLY? Is he showing attraction to others now that he's free? What's bringing on this feeling in you lately that you're needed to attract him more? I'm guessing you're sensing wandering eyes which wouldn't really surprise me given the situation.
AmorousDelight Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 if you are 18, and you are sensing that something is wrong, there may well be, but it is not the weight. Most 35 yo male divorcee should be more than ecstatic to be dating an 18 year old. The issue is babysitting. If he feels that he has to babysit you then you may take those feeling and redirect them toward something bad, like creating a negative image of yourself. This may be completely wrong, but you should find out the source of this anxiety by either asking him, using baby steps since divorcees can only handle baby steps, or by testing his feeling regarding the relationship. Your choice, just realize that women in their 30s that he is used to dealing with, are a lot more adept at carrying these tests, so your best bet is still to ask.
Starry-eyed Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 now i have a big problem... I am not that beautiful while he is the most handsome guy i've ever seen.. i really want to get slim for him to be attracted to me only... i'm a little overweight.. with 10lbs lost, i'm sure i would be more beautiful... I've tried to diet but i gain back when i stop.. First of all, briefly, everyone is beautiful and if you put him up on a pedastal and keep yourself below him, things will never be equal and you'll always feel insecure. If you think you have to change something in order for him to be attracted to you, then he's not loving you for who you are and it'll come back to bite you in some way. Plus, you need to love yourself for who you are. We all have natural sizes and shapes. Secondly, you may not want want your relationship to be judged, but an 18 year old and a 35 year old are too far apart in experience and maturity and something is not quite right. A man at that age should be not be involved with an 18-year-old woman. It speaks to his own issues/maturity as well as, perhaps, your own. No offense intended, really. It's just the way things are at those ages.
electric_sheep Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 I'm 36 and my girlfriend is 21, so I certainly won't judge you there. My girlfriend is really attractive, though she has put on 30 lbs. since I started dating her. As someone else mentioned, you really should ask your boyfriend what he thinks of the extra weight, as 10 lbs. isn't much (unless you were overweight to begin with), and most people's libido and is not that sensitive. My girlfriend complained and complained about her weight, and I kept telling her not to worry about it (truthfully), till finally she had put 15 or 20 extra lbs. on. At that point I started agreeing with her (actually, being tactful, I simply stopped disagreeing as vocally). Another thing, there is no "right" or "wrong" attitude to take about weight or food. Wonderful and beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes. Some eat rice and broccoli, others eat Big Macs. This is a lifestyle issue however, and lifestyle issues have been known to cause stress in relationships... and, if we are going to be realistic, "attraction" can be a finicky thing and not everyone is going to find ALL the wonderful shapes and sizes people come in attractive. That's life. So, that being said... as someone else pointed out, the best way (and the hardest, and only proven way) to lose weight is to change your *lifestyle* and *attitude* towards food and exercise. I've never been a pound overweight in my life, not even close, and the reason is I'm a very active person, and I treat my body like a temple. I don't eat lots of junk food or sugar. I know it sounds difficult, but I've found this attitude change eventually becomes self-fulfilling. At this point, I'm actually sort of repulsed by junk food. The thought of eating it grosses me out. I don't MAKE myself exercise. I have to MAKE myself take a day off... and there are few things in life I enjoy more than the hardship, pain, and spiritual nourishment that is hard exercise. I like to push myself to the limit. Be a warrior. It feels good.
electric_sheep Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 Secondly, you may not want want your relationship to be judged, but an 18 year old and a 35 year old are too far apart in experience and maturity and something is not quite right. A man at that age should be not be involved with an 18-year-old woman. It speaks to his own issues/maturity as well as, perhaps, your own. No offense intended, really. It's just the way things are at those ages. Why is it narrow minded people are always so quick to give their opinions on things they know nothing about? Even if you had personal experience with this, do you really feel this entitles you to make blanket statements about everyone?
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