Capricciosa Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 So, I meet this cute, kind of whacky guy, he seems to like me, but we don't exchange numbers. A few weeks later, he asks a mutual friend about me, says he was hoping to run into me again, and I get in touch with him by telling another friend to pass on my number. Bingo, he calls the next day, hops on his bike to come meet me. It's kind of friendly and fun, and he calls me back again the very next day. I return the call the day after, and he wants me to come out, but I can't. We do go out again a few days later, and at the end of the date he mentions I can crash at his place if I want. I say I don't know him well enough yet, and he seems ok with that, gives me a good long hug, some small kisses, and one less small kiss. He seems happy when we part, says he wants to do it again, says he'll call. Three days later, no call. Is this a sign, or am I being impatient. I sort of believe that when a guy wants to know you, he calls. Am I being brushed off because I didn't go home with him? Just looking for some reactions, especially from guys!! Thanks in advance!
Hazy Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I don't think you should feel badly for not crashing at his place. For some reason he may have just lost interest, that's what dating is about. You go out with someone to see if you are compatible and have a spark with them and want to spend more time with them. Apparently he decided he wasn't interested. He would have called by now. All you can do is let it go and move on.
jcster Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I don't think you should give up on him after 3 days. A lot of people don't have strict rules about time between contacts. If you don't hear from him within a week - I would let it go.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 So, I meet this cute, kind of whacky guy, he seems to like me, but we don't exchange numbers. A few weeks later, he asks a mutual friend about me, says he was hoping to run into me again, and I get in touch with him by telling another friend to pass on my number. Bingo, he calls the next day, hops on his bike to come meet me. It's kind of friendly and fun, and he calls me back again the very next day. I return the call the day after, and he wants me to come out, but I can't. We do go out again a few days later, and at the end of the date he mentions I can crash at his place if I want. I say I don't know him well enough yet, and he seems ok with that, gives me a good long hug, some small kisses, and one less small kiss. He seems happy when we part, says he wants to do it again, says he'll call. Three days later, no call. Is this a sign, or am I being impatient. I sort of believe that when a guy wants to know you, he calls. Am I being brushed off because I didn't go home with him? Just looking for some reactions, especially from guys!! Thanks in advance! Don't worry about it. If he has lost intrest in you for not crashing at he's place then is he really worth it? Sounded like he had a trick up he's sleve to invite you to crash at he's place so early in the game. Maybe he is just playing to game to leave it a few days, let you wait until he calls. Maybe he is busy... Many possabilities. Like someone else said, give it a week, if you hear nothing from him then you know to forget about the guy and move on to better opertunities.
AmorousDelight Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 I hate to say this, but if he told you he would call you and he did not, does'nt that make him a liar? But, give him the week prior to reaching the conclusion. I am just saying that he should have said something along the line of "catch you later, or see you later, or it was fun, or will run into each other again, see you when I do" if I did not want to call you back. Deep down, the guys do know about the 3 standard girl responses: 1st date sex = one night stand, girl is a horndog 2nd date sex to 6th date sex = gf/bf material past that, she is playing hard to get b/c she feels she is above you and they bail out. At least, I would! Past the week response, next time you see him you should call him up on his mistake and move on. You know you can do better.
Davey McG Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Cut the guy some slack. Its only been 3 days. He said he'd call you - he didn't say when. A lot of men leave it a week between calling. Don't worry about it yet.
amaysngrace Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Yeah some people are just busy. Especially in summer. And some people just want to get laid. Especially in summer. I'd say let him go either way. He's not important enough to think so much about. Not yet anyway.
Author Capricciosa Posted August 8, 2007 Author Posted August 8, 2007 Thanks folks, for your thoughts. I guess a week is acceptable, though if I liked someone, it wouldn't take me that long. The thing that throws me is how pleased and flirty he was as we parted, how he said he had fun and we would do it again, talk, etc. Granted, he didn't say when exactly. And today is his birthday, and part of me feels like calling, mostly to gauge what is going on.
BlueEyedSarah Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 Maybe he is playing the game to see if you will call him to wish him a happy birthday, or maybe he is busy due to he's birthday (family taking him out).
Arizona100 Posted August 8, 2007 Posted August 8, 2007 The way you say it, imo, he wanted to put you in his bed. You declined, he didn't call back like he said he would. I would give him the week (and I wouldn't call him) yeah and if you do go out again with him, don't "crash" at his place If he doesn't call back, you haven't lost anything and you didn't give him that he obviously wanted.
Author Capricciosa Posted August 9, 2007 Author Posted August 9, 2007 I have to say the whole politics of calling makes me anxious. It used to be that it was ok to go after what and who you wanted, and now I see that even I am the girl waiting by the phone like some 1950s teenager. Yet I also know too much interest on my part has driven guys away, and I'm not even talking obsessive interest, just the kind that says, hey, I think I like you. Why is it that when we are a challenge we are fascinating, and when we are a real possibility, we lose points somehow? Guy, how do you feel when the woman calls you back? Gals, are you just sitting by the phone or are you doing something about it, and with what results? Thanks. And no, he hasn't called.
Star Gazer Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 If it's his birthday, you should call him to wish him a happy birthday.
shadowplay Posted August 9, 2007 Posted August 9, 2007 CALL HIM. You have nothing to lose at this point. ...And let us know how it goes!
AmorousDelight Posted August 10, 2007 Posted August 10, 2007 As a guy, if he wanted you involved in his BDay activities, he would have called you. Guys instinctivelly know this, b/c they also know that your sexual defenses would be down for giving him receiving a "better gift" than a cerficate. C'mon, you just need an excuse for the deed, and his bday sounds like a damn good reason. Anyways, I would find out what he did for his BDay: maybe he had cake elsewhere, maybe not. I am not trying to coc*block, just saying it like it is. My 2 cents.
Author Capricciosa Posted August 10, 2007 Author Posted August 10, 2007 Well, I will admit sheepishly that I tried to call him yesterday, but there was no answer and through some weird arrangement, I can't leave messages, and this got to me so much I decided to tear up his phone number into little bits and toss them off my balcony. It might seem a little dramatic, but I think I get the message by now. On to greener pastures.
Mary3 Posted August 11, 2007 Posted August 11, 2007 If a man is truly interested in you he will be on you like flies attracted to honey. You will NOT have to wonder and stress because he will BE there for you . Period.
Author Capricciosa Posted August 12, 2007 Author Posted August 12, 2007 Well the dude finally called. Today. 1 week later. I wasn't home. He left a message saying he just got back into town, didn't have his phone with him, etc. I'd pretty well decided to let this one slide. Now I don't know whether to call back or not. The stupidity of dating sometimes overwhelms me. He sounded like his happy, unperturbed self. I, on the other hand, went through something this week and now feel a little scathed.
Touche Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I know I'm going to get bashed for this BUT: First off, I wouldn't have called on his birthday. But that's fine, since you didn't leave a message. Secondly, yes, I'd call him back. Act like nothing is wrong at all. But, I'd wait until tomorrow to call back. Just be very casual. If you show you were annoyed, it's all over.
Author Capricciosa Posted August 12, 2007 Author Posted August 12, 2007 It's alright. I won't bash you. I know I'm being neurotic. And I called the day after his birthday. And no way I would call tonight.
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 Call him tomorrow. Give him a chance and see what happens, and then go from there.
directx Posted August 12, 2007 Posted August 12, 2007 I think you did the right thing and I especially don't think you did ANYTHING wrong. I would have thought he would call, because i would have in 3 days, but EVERYONE DATES DIFFERENT. So he really might be busy those days, or just feels the relationship is so young that he doesnt have a problem waiting 3 days or even a week. But after that he might not be interested, but it may not hurt to give him a call then. Just my opinion.
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