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Fed up of being halted


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Ok, so here's my story in quick bullet point fashion

 

*Broke up with girlfriend of 2 years, in March

*Felt absolutely terrible March, April, May - thought about her non stop, she also starts having a 'fling' with this other guy who I happen to know, hurts like hell

*June, I start to feel a little bit better, the 'fling' I mentioned before between the two also seems to die down somewhat. I'm by no means fine though.

*July, she tells me she misses me so much and is always thinking about me. I feel good for the most part of this month and even seeing her talk to other people etc online doesn't get me down.

 

Now we're in August, and I want this to be the big stride to being healed. If there's been any contact over the past few weeks, she's initiated, not me. Which feels good. Now though, her and the guy who she rebounded with after me are back on speaking terms again and I'm once again the jealous stage. A stage which I left behind, this sort of thing wouldn't of bothered me about a month ago but now it does.

 

So why would I say fed up of being halted if it's only happened once? Because it's happened many a time, over the past few weeks...

 

*I found out she cheated on me one week, felt bad for a few days but got over it

*She was talking to this guy who I absolutely loathe the next week, again I healed

*Then she invites me to her birthday party, to which I replied thus breaking NC

*And finally the thing I mentioned in the paragraph above where she's worked things out with this new guy

 

Basically Im fed up of making progress and then feeling like total **** again. I want to not care about her and this other guy, I want to not care about her at all but again I find myself thinking about her a lot of the time.

 

If any of this is unclear just mention what part you unsure of, I've written it rather hurrily as my feelings are all over the place and I just want to get this out there.

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