alexa137 Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 after all the drama with my boyfriend he recently moved out but we still talk,etc..with finding out yesterday that i did in fact had a miscarriage i thought it would be easier to let go but its not--i have fallen deep into depression-dont feel like doing anything but in bed--hard to get up and go to work etc...i guess the problem is that we still are kinda involved--he doesnt want to let go either but doesnt want to have to "check in" with me--i told him it has to go either way-either work it out or let it go, break up-guess neither one of us can do it--life is so boring now without him i just work and sleep-i have to go for a D & C one day this week-and he hasnt been there for me so much with losing his baby-but i guess things happen for a reason and it was best since i told him i didnt want to do it on my own but its so hard to try all the n/c rules--especially he keeps calling i hang up bcause i am trying not to argue or fight about anything(that was our main problem) but he calls back--i really cant do the ignoring thing too hard--to go from being with someone(lving) for a 1 1/2 years to being apart-my life was him and now its nothing they say if something was yours and you let it go it might come back but the n/c is the hardest!
Author alexa137 Posted August 13, 2007 Author Posted August 13, 2007 dont know if anyone cares but i did kinda good last week when ex called and i didnt answer for 2 days but had to talk to him fri bcause he wants me 2 go 2 bank to write letter to get name taken off title of jeep he gave me $25 to do it(need that $)--but then i am thinking hell no! that doesnt take me off the payments and if for any reason he decides not to pay(which he hasnt in a year) i have to pay it! now hes pissed! well i am even more pissed when i found out that he got a new expensive cell phone when he was instant messaging me all day fri(never has before) he said he was at work(yeah right) well i find out about the new phone(he had to pay $300 bcause he has bad credit) but cant give me money to help pay my phone bill! and the worse is that he wont give me the new phone #! how ignorant and rude--bcause he says he doesnt want me investigating! seems like to me that this is his new chick line or something-how do you not give the girl you supposedly loved for 16 months ur new #? he still doesnt want to let go-- i dont know his feelings about losing the baby-i just know he wasnt there for me and that hurt i am getting more upset by the minute--when he calls its marked "private" so i answered and said if you cant call the right way dont call at all! and now hes mad bcause i told him i wont sign the papers for the jeep sounds childish but all this drama is crazy! i dont know what to do! i told him that if he is seeing someone else or interested in someone else just let me know and leave me alone he says hes not but i cant believe it--after being intimate everyday for 15 months with me i am wondering what he does now when hes horny!(which was all the time!) my life is so ****** up now! all i want to do is sleep and cry i dont do nothing but cry and .......
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