kirikat Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 I'd been seeing my guy for a year, and honestly - it was a great year - except for one thing. About once every 3 months, he would tell me he didnt see a future for us... but, still, the attachment grew, and I had met his friends, and his parents.... But then, he would say it again. "I think I love you, but I dont see a future for us...." Now, I cant say I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but I definately loved him, was proud of him, we were pretty happy. But finally, I just "got it" - that he was with me, happily, yet planning on replacing me, and I decided to end it. He wasnt happy, didnt think I would do it, argued with me about it... but wouldnt agree to a commitment of any level (though we were exclusive). I tried to explain that I dont know that I want forever, but I want to be able to hang out and eat pizza in front of the TV - that after a year, I had a reasonable expectation of security. I went to bed. I woke up 2 hours later, and burst into tears. I didnt contact him, that first day - though he was available on IM. The second day, I did contact him, and said I was sad and upset, and it felt incomplete. Then - well - he vanished. Finally - he reappeared yesterday - with an email "I think I need more time to think, but I dont think I love you like you love me, so I think we should end the story. I want to be friends, but not right now, so I prefer not to see you" I responded, graciously, thanking him for a good year. And then I thought - "Excuse ME????? We sleep together for a YEAR, and you send an EMAIL?" So, I sent a PS (Ps, an email to someone you've slept with for a year is cold, and not so nice......) He responded "Yes, its cold. We can talk in a few weeks - but I cannot see you right now" Now - I guess Im pathetic, because I cant eat, and I cant sleep (though I love the svelte new body a weeks worth of not eating has given me....) My problem here, the thing that is KILLING me, is that not one of my friends, not one of my lovers has ever really left. The relationships changed, but we all stayed in til the very last minute - until together we were able to end the romance ethically, and with all the honor and commitment that a friendship and sexual relationship deserve. What did I do wrong here (except, perhaps, not bolting the FIRST time he said "I dont know if we have a future.....") And how do I stop feeling so incredibly bad!!!!????? (And no, I will NOT be contacting him!)
Aliddy Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Hi, I have read your post, and your story seems almost identical to mine. I was in a relationship for 3.5 years, to a guy, who just would not deal with issues. He would simply walk out, then I would have to make all the effort to try and resolve things... This time I didn't...... It has been 7 weeks since I last saw or heard from him, I have kept a blog of how I have coped.... http://aliddy-diaryofabreakup.blogspot.com/ It may help you to read it.... Suzanne :-)
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