sunshine79 Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 so my fiance has a job interview today...he works for a fortune 500 company at the moment but hates the management and is being screwed on his pay...he gets a call from a guy opening a new place and he wants my fiance to come to work for him. great. hopefully more money and better people. BUT in the back of my mind i dont' wnat him to change jobs. i know every person he works with at his job right now...and all i can think of is at his new job he'll make new friends, possibly hot girls, and may have to take another trip which he had to with the job he's at now - one week in sunny california!!! talk about jealous?!! anyways that went well, now he's talking about diong it all over again and in the back of my head i'm fuming jealous/mad/something. what is wrong with me?!?!?!?!!!! i definitely dont' let him know this but geez i can't get over it. i can't put it out of my mind. am i 16 again?! ugh...
jcster Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 It's normal. I went through similar jealousies with my ex husband. And he, did with me. You're going to be with this guy for a long time, and anything that starts to mess with the status quo (assuming you're happy with how things are now) can shake you up and make you revert, as you said, to a 16 year old. The difference between being 16 and an adult is that now you recognize it and can stop those thoughts in their tracks. Which is, by the way, what you have to do. Take all the energy that you are expending wondering if this is normal and put it towards changing your thoughts. Don't dwell on the "what ifs." Get involved in his job search - ask him details about the interview - think about it as a team venture.
Author sunshine79 Posted August 7, 2007 Author Posted August 7, 2007 thanks, that's what i'm trying to do. i just feel so stupid to even be like this. we are in a great place together and things are wonderful. it has been rough off and on but it's like we finally clicked and have an understanding of each other and now i'm having these 'bad thoughts'. i know that healthier relationships don't have either person dwelling on 'is he/she going to find someone else' or is 'he/she going to be attracted to someone else' sure we all think about it, maybe not directly...but this time it just got out of hand. i have recognized i've done taht...i just need to keep those thoughts out of my head. i've just had jealousy issues for a long tiem and i think my divorce is what started everything and now i'm back in with a wonderful man into the marriage thing and bam...the thoughts surfaced. ugh...this helps to type out though, thanks for reading if you got this far.
Grim Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 ok i think the same rules apply here as for wat i am doing. be low maintainence, put out and try to relax, if he gets wat he wants at home he wont stray but make sure he knows u have options too!!!!
jcster Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 be low maintainence, put out and try to relax I'm starting to think I need to get this tattooed on me somewhere.
JCD Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 If it's going to happen it will so why worry about it? You can't stop him from doing it you can only be the best you can be to him and hope that is enough. If not find someone who you're good enough for.
Recommended Posts